6 mo's sleep is a disaster. Pleaasssee help us?

[Mjaz]

DS2 is almost 6 months.  He was 3 weeks early.  20lbs already.  EBF.

Since I am back to work PT and DS1 has his own schedule, DS2's EASY is sort of all over the place!  I try to keep it in the EASY order and keep his feeds 4 hours apart.  Our winging it EASY was going well - he was sleeping till 1-2am, bfeeding and then going right back. 

For the last 10 days or so, he has been up ALL night.  Every hour...sometimes less.  I've tried meds in case it was teeth...no difference. 

Is this routine!?  Is it b/c he has a bit of a rocking prop?  OT?

Please help.  I'm not functioning!

[ZacsMumme]

Hi Melinda, can you please post your LOs typical EAS ie when he naps and when BT is?

Is he trying todo any new skills ie crawling?
Does he suffer from reflux or any other medical conditions?

You mention you rock him, is this back to sleep at every NW, and to sleep for naps and at BT? Does your LO have a lovey or a dummy?

[Mjaz]

Hi Sara...
On a good day when I'm home our EASY looks something like:

Wake: 7
E: 7:15
A: 7-8:30 (seems to want a low A in the morning)
S: 8:30-10
E: 10:15
A: 10-12
S: 12-1:30 (typically wakes at 40 mm here, have to get him back with shh/pat)
E: 1:45
A: 1:30-3:45 (try to stretch here)
S: 3:45-4:30
E: 4:45
A: 4:30-6:30/7
Asleep by 7

He doesn't have any med conditions that I know of.  He is trying very hard to move...not sure he's per se trying to crawl, but he's motivated to move, reach, stretch, roll over, etc...  Yes, I rock him b/c I generally can't get my 2.5 year old to give me enough time to do much else!  Ee.  No, at most NWs I can shh/pat him.  Sometimes he revs up and to help keep my DH and other son asleep, I rock him back to cease the crying.  He does have a lovey, but doesn't seem to care about it.  And yes, he loves his pacifier.  We try not to use it at BT or during the night b/c once it falls out, he wakes.  But often he wants it.

Last night he was up every 20 minutes.  Literally.  My DH fell asleep with him in the chair at 1:30am and woke there at 6:30.  That's the only way any of us got any sleep last night.  It's awful.  I don't get it AT ALL.

Should I take him to the doctor and rule out ear infection/teeth/reflux??

Thank you!
Melinda

[ceilidhf]

Hi Melinda,
I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to let you know that you're not alone - I could have written this same post about my six and a half month old. Last night was the WORST - up at 2am and awake until 6am. Like you, we tend to do whatever it takes to prevent him waking our daughter as well. Hopefully these nights of sleep deprivation will pass, but until then keep your chin up and remember that there WILL come a day when you will have to drag them out of bed!!!!

[ZacsMumme]

Okay so a few things here I am wondering about. First is that he may need an A time increase. I notice he was born early so he may not be able to do as longer A times as some other 6 month olds BUT you can certainly try increasing his first A 15mins to see if this helps with his nap. His next A time of 2 hours is too short for his age - unless he gies you a short first nap. If you can get a good morning nap then I would push the next one out closer to 2hrs30mins-2hrs45mins For his CN I would also not let him sleep longer than 30 minutes with BT 1.5hrs later max.

Re the paci I think at this age you will either need to wean it, or allow him to have it as a comfort item. It is confusing for them to be able to have it sometimes for sleep and not others at this age as they are a lot more knowing and if he settles to sleep with it at BT then wakes and it is gone then he will struggle to get back to sleep KWIM? At this age you can teach them to replug themselves at night so that they eventually dont need you. If your LO is waking every 20mins then he isnt really getting into a deep sleep at all.

I would pay your Dr a visit to rule out anything else ie sore ears and maybe check he isnt teething and then we can come up with a plan to get him sleeping better

[Mjaz]

Thank you!  Sorry I have been MIA for a few days - DS #1 has double ear infections and a cold and DS #2 has bronchitis.  Guess that explains a lot, huh?

BUT, I do think we need to start figuring out what to do re: his props.  He LOVES his paci.  My first son never took one, so this is new to us.  What would you suggest?  How do I teach him to replug?  I don't mind him having it if it helps, but at this point it does not help at all.

I also think he has a rocking/holding prop.  He hardly ever settles with shh/pat.  It makes him angry.  I'm going to try and focus on independent sleep at BT, as that is really the only time I have when my toddler isn't interrupting.

What do you think?  I know he's sick at the moment, but to be honest, I think that the props and lack of routine are really coming into play as well.

TIA
Melinda

[Tecike]

Hi Melinda!

I read along your post since I had the same problems with my DS2. V also had these multiple NWs (up every hr or so) for 2 wks as he turned 6 mo. As I figured it out, it was more than one factor that caused it - a huge GS (starting to move around, roll etc), reflux flare up and maybe even teething (though he has no teeth yet)... 
If your DS2 is sick, that's one factor for sure, but at 6 mo you have to consider the GS as well. IMO if the NWs don't stop after a few days or after the illness, then you can start thinking about props and routine...
In those 2 wks, when we had NWs, I really had no energy to deal with other issues, I just tried to get him to sleep - and I rocked him even at night, so as to make him sleep... 

As for paci - my DS1 was addicted and it was his lovey/comfort item. We had some rough nights until he learned to replug, and then when he got older we had some rules as to when he can have it (like he went to sleep/nap with it, or he could have it only in the crib). We weaned it at 3 yo, and luckily had no probs with it, nor with his teeth. For me it was a life saver, as he was a very bad sleeper... Now DS2 takes it only rarely, when he has a (what I call) sucking fit and he's not dependent on it....I think it's your call to decide what you'll do with it. 

As for independent sleep - V was rocked at each nap/BT because of his reflux (here I couldn't get it medicated, so dr's orders were to hold him for sleep! ). I taught him independent sleep once his reflux got milder, but as DS1 was around, I could do it mostly in the mornings when DS1 was in kindergarten. It's amazing how quickly he learnt what to expect for each nap! Now he's re-learning independent sleep. After those 2 wks I had to start over again... but he's getting the hang of it more quickly now! 
IMO it's OK to focus on BT only, if that's what suits you. He'll quickly learn to new rules if you're consistent with it!

HTH

[ZacsMumme]

I wouldnt start to try sleep training until he is well.
 

As for paci - my DS1 was addicted and it was his lovey/comfort item. We had some rough nights until he learned to replug, and then when he got older we had some rules as to when he can have it (like he went to sleep/nap with it, or he could have it only in the crib). We weaned it at 3 yo, and luckily had no probs with it, nor with his teeth. For me it was a life saver, as he was a very bad sleeper... Now DS2 takes it only rarely, when he has a (what I call) sucking fit and he's not dependent on it....I think it's your call to decide what you'll do with it.

Totally agree!
You can keep the paci. I did a lot of A time practice with DS just teaching him the skills to put it into his mouth on his own. He mastered this around 6/7 months. For us it was also a lifesaver as DS has reflux and was just a rubbish sleeper really We have little trouble now and TBH its better than alternatives such as your fingers or the breast.

You can work on GW the rocking etc if you think this will work. DO a little less every night and your LO will eventually accept going into the cot independently. You can also try PU/PD but it doesnt really mix with the paci and it really is a last resort for a lot of mums as it can cause a lot of crying and stress all round.

Oh and focusing on just 1 nap or BT to start with is totally fine as Tecike says....progress is progress

[Mjaz]

Ah, I have a lot to work on.  Right now I can't even imagine doing anything as his nights are such a mess that his days are too.  We've had 20-30 minute naps all day.  I'm exhausted! 

I often feed/rock/anything to get him to sleep as we are so sleep deprived and he wakes the whole house up if I don't nip it in the bud quickly.  What a BW nightmare

I'll be back on this thread, I'm sure!  Just as soon as I get him better, we'll start tackling props...and pray the NWs get better. 

Thank you,
M.

[ceilidhf]

Good luck - if it's any consolation we are going through the same with our almost 7 month old. It's not easy at all....

[Mjaz]

OK, I hope some of you are still here!

We're on the other side of illness...Eamon is healthy again and his nights have improved...but, we're still having more NWs than I can handle...or figure out.

So it seems like his pattern is -

Asleep by 7
2-3 early NWs from 7-10ish (very easy, just a quick shh/pat and he's quiet)
NW bet 12-1 - wants to nurse here, usually do as he screams if not
NW bet 4-5 - this one is hard - wants to nurse, try not to, but will take 30-45 min to get  him back if I don't
Up for the day between 6 and 7

I'm working on independent sleep at naps and BT and it's going well.  I've also decided to LET HIM have his pacifier.
And I'm ALSO working on extending his A times.  Sometimes we get great naps, sometimes they're terrible - on the same A time.  So...

That's where we are.  Thoughts?  Are his nights OT?  That's a-what-I'm-a-thinking....

Thanks!
Melinda

[lilisuze]

I'd guess ot for nights certainly the early evening wakes.  best thing for that is to pull bed time back by about 30 min for at least 3 nights and see how you get on. I wonder if it's a stage, we are having issues too after 3 weeks of Sttn! back later with more thoughts

[Mjaz]

I feel like this poor kid lives in a state of OT (you'd never know, he's the happiest baby in the world) - b/c of #1's routine!  He has never STTN totally.  He used to sleep with one NW to eat around 4am...and that was bliss.  I didn't even mind it b/c he then slept till 7/8.  But then illness struck.  And now we're a mess again.  Oy!  I'll try 6:30 BT tonight.  Thanks.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs and great progress!

usually ENW are a sign of OT, as lisuzie says try an earlier BT and see if it helps. We always got ENW at this age too, a lot of LOs do, I think they grow out of it, but we can try to help

What is your EaSY - day looking like at the moment?

[Mjaz]

Thanks Sara.  We had a pretty good day today-

Wake: 6:30
E: 7
A: 2:00
S: 8:30-10 (1.5 hr)

E: 10:30
A: 2:15
S: 12:45-2:15 (1.5 hr)

E:  2:30
A: 2:30
S: 4:45-5:20 (35)

E: 6
A: 1:25
Asleep: 6:45

He's already been up screaming and crying twice.  Ugh!