Tips for 2.5 yo BT procrastinator

[B J]

Since the birth of DS2, DH has been in charge of BT for DS1.  I think things have gotten out of hand and we're in an OT/UT loop and the start of 1-0.

DS1 stalls at BT and so BT has been getting later and later and he takes a long time to fall asleep.

I think DH gives in to DS1's demands and as a result he gets a second wind.  We're getting NWs and EWs now.

His usual routine is:
Wake - any time between 6:00 - 7:00 am
Nap - 12:30 or 1:00 for 1.5 hours max
BT - aim to have him in bed by 8:00

DH isn't putting him in bed until 8:30 some nights due to DS1's stall tactics.  He takes a while to fall asleep, so I think some night she isn't asleep until after 9:00!

I am busy putting DS2 to sleep at night, so I can't keep an eye on DH or DS1.  I keep telling DH he needs to cut the nap and do earlier BT.

Any tips on how to get through the BT antics?

[*Becky*]

ok this is one where I have BTDT so to speak and it is tough so many hugs.

Yes, his day is getting really long and I am pretty sure he must be OT. What we did/do with DS is have a very definite bedtime routine that is pretty much set in stone. So we get ready for bed and then he always watches a ben and holly programme while he has milk, then he cleans his teeth, looks out the window to see planes and is allowed to watch one film on his dad's phone. Then hugs for me and DH and into bed. We do not deviate AT ALL because he really needs to know the expectations and boundaries. Sometimes he will push it and ask for another programme but we stick with the 'agreed' routine.

He may push it for a few nights but pretty soon he will see that you mean what you say. I actually believe that many kids if not all feel secure when they know what the expectations are. With a new baby in the house sometimes things change and it is a tricky time for an older sibling.

What I would suggest is to stick to a pretty set routine and to shorten the day. Decide ideally when YOU would like him in bed and work with that. I would say atm that getting him into bed for 7pm would be good. Is that possible?

[B J]

Thanks Becky.  I got DH to agree that he needs to do an earlier BT and stop all the mucking around.  We used to have a good BT routine, but things got really stretched out with a lot of playing in between the key BT steps.  I think they both want to play with each other and not go to sleep!

We tried for 7:00 last night, but got delayed as dinner took a long time.  DS refused dinner and demanded cereal.  So there was a stalemate for a while as I wanted him to eat his dinner first and then he could have cereal.  I think DH ended up giving him cereal, but he also ate his dinner, and more cereal...   Since he was eating so well DH didn't want to rush him.  DH tried to put him in bed at 7:20 but he started crying.  Tried again at 7:40 and he was asleep by 8:00.

Compared to the late nights we've been having, this is an improvement.  This morning he was up some time after 6:00 a,, but he was singing in his crib and didn't call for me until 7:00 when the sun comes on his GoodNight Lite.  He has always been low sleep needs, so a 10 hour night is considered good for him.  Yesterday morning he woke up crying at 6:00 am, so I knew he was OT.  He was a cranky mess and was having melt downs over mundane things.  And he actually said he was tired at 11:30 am yesterday.  Normally he is telling us he's not tired. This is when I decided that something needs to be done about his BT.

Not sure if I need to cut the nap as well.  We've had the odd no nap day, but it's not happening regularly yet.  I think I'll see how he does with an earlier BT for a few nights and see if things improve first.

[*Becky*]

I think I'll see how he does with an earlier BT for a few nights and see if things improve first.

I think that is a good plan. It might be worth checking out the support thread for 1-0 at the top of the page too. You can chat with other mums who have BTDT and who are going through it.
1-0 is a long process for some and unfortunately it involves some OT and also UT as their bodies adjust. keep me posted!

[B J]

Hello - just an update.

We've moved his nap earlier to 12:00 or 12:30 depending on wake up time, and DH is working hard to get him to bed earlier.  We aim to have him in bed between 7:00 - 7:30.  It is hard to get him in bed by 7:00 as it takes a long time to get him to eat his dinner.

The earlier nap and BT is helping.  His behaviour is better and we weren't getting OT EWs.

However after observing this change for a few days now, I think we may need to cut the nap too.  He is taking 30 min or more to fall asleep at night, and sings in his crib.  And he is waking at 6:00 am calling for DH, not crying, but wanting to start the day.

Yesterday I decided to cut the nap.  He was at day care and I told them to cut the nap to 1 hour.  He was tired by the end of the day, which made BT challenging.  We tried to get him in bed as soon as we could.  We ended up with a NW at 11:00 pm (may have been a bad dream) and EW of 5:00 am!!! Ahhhh...I will post on the 1-0 thread now

[*Becky*]

I will post on the 1-0 thread now

good plan.
1-0 from my experience is long! You may need to go slowly to prevent OT.