Advice on how to transition to own room and keep in crib all night

[mjohnson33]

Hi ladies!!

My DS is 13 months old and has been sleeping in my bed with me until he was about 6 months old, then I moved his crib in my room and started getting him to sleep in there.  It took some time, but he did, we were STILL up all night long with issues. After no relief, I saw a sleep specialist back when he was 9 months old and she advised me to bring him into bed with me after he wakes so we can get some sleep....that was supposed to be temporary but we never moved on b/c we realized his belly was hurting b/c he has had constipation issues for A LONG TIME!!!  And I realized that was the reason for his bad nights when we saw a specialist in November.  So, since he was ill, I never tried to correct his sleeping until we knew he was ok.....well we finally have what I think is relief.  I dont think his NWs are pain related anymore, I think they are from his dependance on me to sleep. 

So, here's the situation....his crib is in my room, he ALWAYS starts out there..sometimes he will sleep for 4-5 hours in there before he wakes, others 1-2 hours....I try to resettle him in there and if it doesnt work then I just bring him into bed with me.  (bad habit I know)

So, basically I need advice here on how to get him to A)sleep in his crib all night and B)I would eventually like to move him to his own room but I have no idea what to do first or how to tackle it. 

A few notes: 1)He does fall asleep independantly on his own 98% of the time unless he is OT which we are battling right now. 2)I work FT and this is very hard for me to do but I feel like it is starting to cause issues for us and I might be a crutch for him now.

TIA!!! 

[*Becky*]

Bumping up x

[*Becky*]

ok I have some time now...

Firstly it is great he falls asleep on his own. That shows he can do it. Can I ask - it seems you have not done any sleep training with him - is that right?

If it were me I would move him into his own room first. That way you will probably both sleep better and you are also more likely to only go to him if he really needs you rather than hearing every snuffle etc - do you know what I mean?

Once that is established then I would work on keeping him in his bed. There are 2 options you can try at this age. WIWO or GW. I think in this case if he can sleep independently then WIWO may be your best option. Are you familiar with it?

Could you also post your current routine so we can see if anything needs to be tweaked. You mention he is OT atm.

Also - how do you try to settle him now before you bring him to bed with you?

bx

[mjohnson33]

Can I ask - it seems you have not done any sleep training with him - is that right?

I have done some sleep training with him but really only to get him to fall asleep independently since he has had all these belly issues that we finally resolved, I felt like I couldnt really sleep train properly.

If it were me I would move him into his own room first. That way you will probably both sleep better and you are also more likely to only go to him if he really needs you rather than hearing every snuffle etc - do you know what I mean?

Yes, I understand completely and it would probably help if when he does wake, he doesnt see me right away.  I also worry he will get scared in a room by himself since he's so used to me being there......

Are you familiar with it?

Yes, I did read up on both the WI/WO and the GW.  I may try one and if it doesnt work I will use the other....currently if I have problems with him going to sleep I do WI/WO but I never know when to go back in there.....he loves to pretend like he's in distress and then as soon as he sees me he stops.  LOL

Could you also post your current routine so we can see if anything needs to be tweaked. You mention he is OT atm.

I am currently working very closely with clairebear to fix his routine.  He is nearing the 2-1 transition and she believes if we get his day tweaked better he will sleep better at night making it easier for me to handle all this.  Yesterday was our first day and he slept in his crib until 3am!! That is a huge success!!!
Here is the routine she suggested:
WU 7am
nap 1 10:30-12
nap 2 3:30-4:30
BT 8pm

how do you try to settle him now before you bring him to bed with you?

I usually lay him down and give him his binky and pat him for a little bit.  Sometimes it works, others it doesnt...like last night when he woke up at 3am, I let him fuss for a little bit but he had enough night sleep that he wasnt going to go down without a fight.  As soon as I laid him down he started screaming hysterically, so I just picked him up and put him in bed with me. 

Thanks for all your help!! I really appreciate it!!

[*Becky*]

ok well let's give the new routine a few days to see how it goes - sounds good so far

With WIWO you only go back if it is a true 'mummy I need you' cry. It is not time based at all but I did use to give myself about 15 seconds so I could really listen and work out what was happening. I know with some lo's they really ramp it up the minute you leave but do settle quickly after.

As soon as I laid him down he started screaming hysterically, so I just picked him up and put him in bed with me

Sounds like it might be time to get stuck in with WIWO? What I would say is if you are going to do it it is important to stick with it as otherwise if you then put lo into bed with you he is going to get confused.

Hugs!

[mjohnson33]

It is not time based at all but I did use to give myself about 15 seconds so I could really listen and work out what was happening. I know with some lo's they really ramp it up the minute you leave but do settle quickly after.

He is actually good for a few minutes then he throws everything out of the crib and starts up, but its not a true "mommy I need you cry" most of the time.  But if he throws out his binky, he wont go to sleep without it! LOL  But I have only done this at BT and never once he wakes....and I cant do WI/WO until I move him anyway.  LOL 

So, lets see how the new routine does and then we can move on from there.  I am hoping it gets easier for him to sleep in his crib with the right amount of sleep and A time and then he wont even notice when I move the bed.  HA, wishful thinking, he will definately know,......

How many days does it typically take for WI/WO to work?? And when do you surrender it??

[*Becky*]

How many days does it typically take for WI/WO to work?? And when do you surrender it??

Each time I have done it with DS it has only taken a couple of days but our problems were with naps not bedtime or NWings.
I think the general feeling is about 45 mins. There are some lo's who just get too worked up with WIWO and for them GW is a better approach. My lo does not respond at all to GW but it is an option if you find WIWO does not work. Personally i found WIWO to be fantastic!

[*Becky*]

So, lets see how the new routine does and then we can move on from there.  I am hoping it gets easier for him to sleep in his crib with the right amount of sleep and A time and then he wont even notice when I move the bed.

It is def a good idea to try and get the routine on track first as it makes WIWO much easier. If a lo is UT or OT then the whole process is much harder.

[mjohnson33]

There are some lo's who just get too worked up with WIWO and for them GW is a better approach.

I know the times I have tried GW it has worked great for me.  Like last night, I was told to AP to get him to sleep so we could get a good start on the routine and I put him in bed and left the room and he started crying and throwing everything out so i went in there and just stood by the crib, no eye contact and he just relaxed and when I realized he was tired enough, I stroked his face a few times and he was out.  No fuss or anything....so it could work too. 

[mjohnson33]

Becky,
its been a week on the new routine and I am not sure its working for us.....no matter what he seems either UT or OT every day.    I feel like the nights are the same that they were before we tried this. 

So, I think I may try to abandon ship right now as far as the routine goes and kinda let him tell me when and how long he wants to sleep.  I will try to keep it relatively the same as far as nap times go but I cant bare the thought of waking him or cutting his naps short since its not working. 

So, I may try to move his crib soon and try that.....

[*Becky*]

I would do the move hun, it may work really well and even if it doesn't it is not like everything is working great yk...sometimes it is good to just go for it with these things.

Have you ever tried set naps with him?

[mjohnson33]

Have you ever tried set naps with him?

Set times??

I have really just gone by A times, to where he is awake for at least 3.25 in between but I am not with him during the day so I have to trust the sitter and he does get tired before then for them sometimes.

[*Becky*]

ok, will jump on your other thread and take a look. let's just keep this one for help with transitioning him to his own room. Good luck!

[mjohnson33]

Thanks, I would love your take on it b/c its really not working out for us.  And I just looked at that link, seems like they are all different....and there is one on there where a 13 month old does only 3 hours A time then naps...I have been discouraged from short A times....

[mjohnson33]

Becky, I have great news! Miraculously,  DS has started STTN in his own crib!!! It all started a week ago tonight. He just started sleeping better. He is on a more consistent day routine due to going to the same sitter everyday now.  He has slept 5 of the last 6 nights in his own crib! When he wakes in the middle of the night I wait and see what he does, if he starts screaming I pat him and he goes back to sleep. If he's just moving,  I leave him be and he puts himslef back to sleep! Its amazing!!! We haven't changed his routine in anyway as far as naps or A time goes, we are just more consistent.

So my question is this....his crib is still in my room. I would like to move him to his own room.  Should I wait a little longer before I do so? Do u expect some regression when I move him? Do you have any suggestions? He's been doing so well and I don't want to mess it up by doing it too soon.
Thank u!!