Gradual withdrawal

[babyjayne1980]

Hello to everyone,
New to site, look forward to chatting to you all.
My DS is 11 months old, never been a great sleeper and a few obstacles over the months that have prevented me from sleep training.
Finally decided to tackle it with gradual withdrawal so any tips on how to succeed greatly appreciated. Main concern is how to approach night wakings and what methods dependant on if he wakes settled or screaming ( yes, I have a screamer lol).
Thank you. Speak soon.

[Bex09]

Hi hun and welcome! 

We used GW with our DD to teach independent sleep and for NW too and it worked great for us. How are you resettling your DS now? Is he held, cuddled, fed to sleep, etc? This depends on how you tackle your first step really.

But basically you are looking at staying with your LO and then each night moving a step further away until you can just pop LO down in the cot and walk out. I started with putting DD down and then rubbing her back and using our sleepy phrase to calm her and until she fell asleep. I then just kept a hand on her back the next night until she was asleep. Then the next night just sat by the cot with no physical contact and from then on just moved further away each night. I always waited until she was asleep before I left the room, but once I was at the door the next night I just walked out and shut the door and she fell asleep.

There will be crying, but remember you are right there with your DS so he will not feel abandoned. He will be protesting at your new way of doing things. If things get too much you can always go back to the previous step, we had to do this once or twice. What we found worked best was no eye contact and being as boring as possible, so even when DD was stood up dropping dummies on my head I ignored her so she knew there was no chance of playing, she soon gave up and went to sleep!!

As for the NW, I would only go in if your DS is doing a cry (or scream) that escalates and says 'I need you now'. If not then wait and see if he can resettle himself. Have a look at this link (the GW part), it gives a bit more info on how to use GW... http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

[babyjayne1980]

Thanks so much for the reassurance.
Oh I've got into some bad habits. NW's are dealt with by feeding (only if he didn't finish bedtime bottle though), laying with him on our bed then transferring him to cot once asleep and when desperate co sleeping 
Got a long road ahead me thinks xx

[Bex09]

We didn't feed but held to sleep every night and nap time and cuddled at NW, then got into habbit of co-sleeping when DD woke in the night and wouldn't resettle. She started waking just to come in our bed, so at 14 mo I thought enough is enough! GW took us one week and she has been an independent sleeper ever since, with only the occassional NW with teething or when ill. It works... I promise.

To stop the props you really just need to decide that you aren't going to feed or take DS into your bed and then stick with your GW plan. It might help to write down the steps that you are going to take each day/night too, so you stick with it. Here to hold your hand hun.

[babyjayne1980]

I failed miserably with the NW!
Left him until it had escalated but there was no settling him by that time. Me being there patting, stroking had no effect and dd just got worse and worse.
Eventually I caved as I was worried about the neighbours ( out of control at this stage).
How gradual is gradual? Can success be achieved by working on bedtime first ( which went really well) and dealing with NW's later?

[Bex09]

Yes hun you can use GW to fall asleep for naps and BT but still comfort LO for the NW. I would try to avoid props like cuddling, feeding etc for NW though as this could cause mixed messages. It may take longer but it does work, we didn't always use GW for the NWs. What often worked in the night though was sleeping on a mattress on DD's floor until she went back to sleep. Some people sleep on the mattress for the whole night and move it further away each night when doing GW.

[babyjayne1980]

Well here goes night no. 2. Great bedtime routine then went off within 30 minutes without patting or stroking.
Thank you so much for your messages, I feel better prepared for tonight knowing its not the end of the world if GW's not done if he wakes.
xxx

[Bex09]

Sounds a great start, hope you have a good night.

[babyjayne1980]

Thanks Hun for all your advice. Only woke once last night ( up for an hour but once is a huge improvement) and woke up in the morning in his cot for the first time in ages.
It's gonna be a hard journey but I feel we can get there.

Thanks again x

[Bex09]

Yay that is fantastic! You absolutely can do this, and you are already well on your way, well done. Taking longer than normal to settle during sleep training is to be expected hun, so don't stress over that, it will all come good in the end. Still here holding your hand through this.