Night waking for 2 hours or more every night!

[Debsie2005]

Hi,

My 19 month old LO wakes up at night around 2am (last night it was nearer 3am) every night and is wide awake for at least 2 hours.  I am at the end of my patience with what to do and all i think about are ways to make sleep better than it is.  he has never slept well, but its been 19 months now and i am suffering big time, mentally and physically!

He starts off with a few little waking sounds and within no time at all he is wide awake, chattering away in his cot.  I can leave him for a while, but then he seems to want to be back asleep but is too awake i think.  Then he cries.  I've tried sleeping in there with him, rubbing his back, then just talking to him then withdrawing to my room and going in still to settle him.  I've tried going straight away to try and get him back to sleep before he is WIDE awake, leaving him to see if he will go back to sleep but nothing works!!  Last week i just gave on and started bringing him into bed and he would sleep for an hour or so, then i woould put him back in his cot, but he would wake after an hour and the whole thing would start again.  generally he won;t sleep on me anyway and does really prefer to be in his cot.  

I am baffled and sleep is all i think about and worry about and try and find solutions too...i'm literally going insane!

The one thing i havent tried is wake to sleep.  Purely cos i am scared too!!    I am worried about waking him up and then making his waking hours even longer!!  I am getting so stressed out with it all now.  Do you think WTS could work in this situation?  i really don't know what else to do.  People keep saying, he will get there i th end, but how long do i have to wait....sleep deprivation is so hard on everything in the rest of your life.

This his Schedule..
7am - wake
7.30 - breakfast/Milk
11-11.30 - Lunch
12-1.30/2.00 - sleep
3pm - snack
5pm - Dinner
...depending on how tired he seems early evening...
6 or 6.20 - Milk
6.30 or 6.50 - Bath
7 or 7.15 - Bed

Hope someone can help a bit....

ETS- He goes to sleep perfectly nearly every night on his own, so i know he can self settle and go to sleep on his own...but he just doesn't seem able to do this as he moves into his second half of sleep at night!!

[Kay Dee]

Aw, you poor thing. That's tough going.

A few questions - when did he drop to 1 nap, do you think he's high or low sleep needs? By the sound of it I think he needs his A times increased a bit to get a more solid night.

You could try gradually pushing his day out so it's more like:

7am wake
1 - 2.30pm nap
7.30pm bed

That's the kind of routine my DS was on at that age (although his nap was a touch shorter). I'd say your DS is tired by 12 at the moment because of the broken nights so you'll have to go slowly.

If his night's are still disrupted after increasing A times you could look at moving bedtime out to 8pm OR capping his nap a little to keep bedtime earlier. What do you think?

x

[Debsie2005]

Ooh do you reckon? I hadn't thought of that....
He went to 1 nap around 13-14 months, purely on his own as he just stopped sleeping in the afternoon and would just play in his cot instead. We then gradually made nap time later til we got to 12.
When I say wake at 7....I wake him at 7 if he's not awake but he can wake anytime form 5.30 to 6am often... Very often it's like he is only getting 8/9 hours sleep a night!! Which doesn't seem enough!!! He has never ever slept 12 hours...he's obviously not that kind of child!!! Sadly...lol!!

I thoughts might try wts over next few nights just to see what happens, what do you think??

[Debsie2005]

Hi!
So, last night i semi woke LO at 1am.....first i stoked his back...he was dead to the world!  Then i stroked his head...still, dead to the world!  Then i lifted his arm adn he turned from his side to his front, sighed and did little mouth sucky noises   Then i left, quick!!!  Of course i went back to bed and lay there awake LOL!  Then i got a tickly cough and couldn't stop coughing argghhh!!  Anyway, back to LO, he didn't wake up until 3.45am...then he was wide awake chattering in his cot...he was awake for over an hour but then we both fell back to sleep and then he slept til 7am when i went in his room and he woke up!!  The difference last night, was that I didn't go into him at all

I don;t really understand this WTS thing as its new to me, but last night felt positive...??  Do i still wake at 1am for the next couple of nights?  Then if he continues to wake at 4am, begin to semi awake at 3am...not sure how to develop it??

I'm going to move his nap to 12.30 slowly over the next week too, so he has a bit more A time in the morning. 

We are moving house next week as well, so lots of change, so guess we might be in for some more rocky nights!!

Thank you for all your help. 

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Sounds like wts might be helping a bit - hope it continues to for you. I'm afraid I have no experience of it at all so am no use in answering your wts questions, but just wanted to add that my Lo dropped to 1 nap at the same age as yours and was on the same routine as your LO til about 20 months when we started getting bedtime and naptime issues. For us it was serious bedtime refusal and EWs, but pushing her nap back to 1pm fixed it for us.

Just thought I'd share my experiences in case they help!

[Debsie2005]

Hi there
Thanks for sharing, it always helps to hear others experiences. So you pushed the nap til 1pm...how long did your LO sleep for? Did you limit this? Was your LO's awake time longer in the morning than the afternoon? Sorry for all the questions.

I hope wts is helping... It may have just been a fluke he woke later last night, but I'm persevering anyway!

[Debsie2005]

Hi again!
So put LO to bed at 7.30 last night and he was very active in his cot for an hour. Fell asleep at 8.30pm.
Yday he slept from 2.20-2.40 at naP time (dh was in charge...do you reckon his nap was too long? He usually sleeps 1.5-2hrs for naps.
Anyway he woke briefly around 9.30 and cried, but a quick rub on his back and he was fast asleep again within a minute. Then, he didn't wake til 4.54am!! Another improvement on the night before.... However, then by 5.30 he was crying and that was that wide awake for the day!! Managed to keep him going til 12.10 before he went to sleep for his nap!

So should I continue again tonight waking him at 1am? 1 hr before originally habitually waking? I hope it isn't a fluke...I hope it is making a difference, it's the first thing that has ever made such a difference and gives me hope!

[Debsie2005]

Ok so last night wasn't good. He woke at 11.45 and then throughout the night a lot kept waking crying . This was probably my fault as we had friends tound for early dinner with their girls (7 and 10) and LO got very excited and didn't have his usual wind down time, so by bath time he was OT and not very happy. Possibly also his canines playing up again.

So, I'm not going to count it as I feel we messed up his routine. Tonight I'll just carry on as I was.

Anyone out there??!!

[Kay Dee]

Hiya! Sorry, I haven't been back to reply. That's a shame about last night but it does sound like OS/OT so hopefully a once off.

I'm afraid I don't have much experience with WTS so can't helpt there. How have his days been looking?

x

[Debsie2005]

Hi thanks for replying! Was feeling all alone lol!!

Hmmm last night wasn't good either. Had usual routine, couldn't settle He is defo teething. I can see the teeth right there in the gums now, these canines take forever! Had to go and cuddle him til he went to sleeP in the end. Then he was crying out on and off aroun 12am onwards but went back to sleep, I wts at nearly 1am, then he woke up at 2.30 really seemed uncomfortable gave calpol and bonjela and then cuddled him for half hour. Put him in cot and he was awake for another 2 hours! Happily chatting away til he fell asleep at 5am!!!

However, I think it's teeth and I know he's very sensitive to teething, so I'll continue with it but will also go with comforting more too.

Always something eh?!!

[Kay Dee]

Those canines are the worst. My DD's have been on the way for about 2 months!! I find that neurofen is better than calpol for teething. Do you see a difference?

Hopefully they'll be through soon and he'll settle down. How has his nap been the last few days?

x

[babybarr]

I'll emphathise... my ds very similar from about 8mths old onwards....  Sorry to say it but he still wakes nearly every night.

I personally would try a much earlier bedtime in bed for 6.30pm latest.  He needs to catch up.  I even find now with DS he's significantly worse if OT which your little guy must be by now.

((((((hugs))))))

[Debsie2005]

I do agree that neurofen is good when teething really bad. We tend to do both at that point. Calpol then a bit later neurofen....and so on of we thInk necessary.

His nap yday was early, at 11.30 as he was literally lying on the floor face down rubbing his eyes!!! And he slept til 1.40...so just over 2 hours.

Today he napped from 12.30-2.00...I went in opened his curtains and blind, sun was shining through, I was chatting to him and he went zOnked out again!!  Normally I wouldn't let him sleep that long, but decided as we are moving house on tuesday and removals coming tomorrow, him teething etc, decided to just let him sleep. So he went to bed at 8pm tonight and was asleep by 8.30. His language is developing at the moment and he is very very chatty at bedtimes. He seems to go through phases of this!!

Babybarr, my LO has also seemed to b teething since about 5 months old! He didn't get his first tooth until 9 months old but he seems very sensitive to it all!!  I have actually tried putting him to bed at 6.30 but he is just so wide awake and then gets frustrated about being in bed and in the past it hasn't worked! It's definitely a thought I'll keep in mind though as things change as they change. Thank you.

[LovelyLilyandJack]

Sorry, I've only just seen your questions from your earlier post about my Lo's routine change. It sounds like your LO has some catching up to do sleep wise, so for when you're on top of that, my LO did about 6 hrs A time before her nap, and about 5 afterwards. I was capping it to an hour, but then realised she actually wasn't wanting to sleep much longer than that anyway so changed slightly to letting her sleep til 3, or 1.5 hours absolute max. If she wasn't tired she'd take longer to get to sleep and have a shorter nap. If she was tired she'd go to sleep quicker and get a longer nap.

Now we're into dropping the nap and I'm taking a similar approach: putting her down at 1.30 (about 6.5hrs A time) and getting her back up at 2 / 2.15 if she's not asleep by then. I still wake her at 3, whatever.