6 weeks old and still won't latch

[Canwi]

Having read your thread here hon, I think you need to find some help to mind your twins and really focus your attention 110% on BFing your LO. 

I am making an assumption that you are pumping and bottlefeeding expressed breast milk to your LO given that he is continuing to grow.  Do be sure to use the slowest possible flow nipple/teat to avoid flow preference where LO decides it's not worth the effort to get milk from the breast as it gushes out of a bottle nipple/teat. 
I am also assuming that you are offering breast before bottle feeding LO to get the maximum chance of him being hungry enough to latch.
Have you tried feeding him when he is half asleep?  I had to do this with DS2 due to his reflux.  The theory is that they are awake enough to realise they are hungry, but not awake enough to make the associations of (in our case) pain or (in your case) origin of food.

I strongly encourage you to get the LC back.  Stick to one source of information and assistance in person as your help will then be able to remember what you have and have not tried.  While we can give you all sorts of suggestions, the help 'in real life' will be 10 times more use as they can see little things that we (and you) might miss.

I would also encourage you to pick one method and stick to it for a couple of days.  LO's need consistency to be able to learn, and switching from shield to breast often won't help the learning process. 
HTH

[EnzoMama]

I had a similar issue, don't give up. I really believe for us the success came from combination of factors. I should mention we started with a tongue tie (fixed in the hospital right after birth) and inverted nipples too. He hated the shields and would get so frustrated and cry so much but could not latch on without them at the beginning, I started to use a little suction device to bring out my nipples before feedings. After working with LC and not having luck just like you (he would latch when she was around but not other times), she referred me to Craniosacral Therapist. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniosacral_therapy

The Sacral Therapist made series of very gentle adjustments and my baby started to latch on right after one treatment! He started to pull out his tongue while still in her office and he never did that before. He was 7 weeks then. I still had to practice with him bit more after to get into our groove and to be consistent-my dear friend sat with me and helped me over the weekend with feedings. After that he was an amazing eater. People were telling me that I will not be able to get him on but I did not listen...we got it!  This worked great for me, maybe it will work for you too. It was totally worth it!

[Fiver]

To effectively check for a tongue tie the paed/LC/whoever actually needs to put a finger in LO's mouth under the tongue to feel whether there is one there.  Some are obvious to see, but others lie underneath the mucal membrane and are invisible (a posterior or submucal tongue tie).  My DD had one and for all intents and purposes her tongue looked totally normal, but was shredding my nipples.

As Canwi said, please go back and get some real life help.  If your LC is a good one she should be taking you right back to your delivery to check whether there could've been some issue back there that is affecting things now.

[amayzie]

When you are using the nipple shield are you putting it on correctly? When it's on the nipple needs to be sucked right up into the shield. If you just push the shield on to your nipple it won't go on. One way to get it to go on is to sort of turn the shield almost inside out (so it looks like a little mexican hat) and then turn it the right way while it's on your nipple. That way it will suck all of your nipple into the shield. If the shield isn't in place properly then your boy won't be getting enough milk- if any- and he'll simply be munching on the end of your nipple- OUCH!!

You might already have this under control- but sometimes it can be hard, and the instructions don't always come on the pack!

[*Ali*]

Well done for persevering as long as you have so far.

Have you tried feeding him from a bottle in a similar position to how you would breast feed and then taking the bottle teat out and slipping your nipple in?

I agree that you need someone IRL to observe you BFing and work with you on this problem so do reach out as much as you can. 

[Erin M]

Just another thought -- the hospitals where I had my babies (my first was born in NJ too!) all had BFing support groups where they'd meet once or twice a week and there would generally be a LC on hand to answer questions -- do you know if that is available anywhere near you?  Also, I had a friend who persevered with nipple shields until her ds was 3 months, at which point he finally started latching without them.  So, if the nipple shields are working, I'd go with them. 

[ZacsMumme]

SO many hugs hun, I have no experience with latching issues as such and im really just trying to ask a few questions that may or may not even help...figure more info the better though right
When your LO has latched does he feed well, does he suck vigorously?
Does he have any issues once feeding ie does he pop on and off the breast in possible discomfort, cry part way through the feed?
At his checks was there anything else that could possibly be related. Was everything else about his health in good order that you know if?

I agree with Erin re the support groups. In NZ there is a BF support group la-lache I think it is...do you have a similar thing there?

So many hugs hun, you are amazing for sticking with this

[Nicole3]

Canwi, yes I am pumping and feeding him EBM.  I recently switched to the slow flow nipples and it's taking him almost 3x as long to finish a bottle and he's now taking 3 oz/bottle vs the 4 oz he was taking per bottle.  I have my mom here 2.5-3 days a week to help with the twins and meals and cleaning.  I do have the time then to try with him.  I just feel like I don't know what else to do since he won't even latch or seem to even know what the breast is for.  I think I will call back my LC.  I do have him with me most of the day(including co sleeping).  I just bought a Moby wrap yesterday and plan to do more skin to skin that way.  As far as consistency, I totally agree.  I just wish he would!   I haven't tried with the shield in over 2 weeks.  Just keep offering him the breast and him not knowing what to do with it. 

Enzomama, that is so interesting!  I have a call in to a chiropractor that does this!  I called at 4pm yesterday after reading this and am still waiting for a call back.  I actually just left a message for someone else that is certified in this, but they didn't have as many credentials as the chiropractor.  Thank you for this information.  I've never heard of it before. 

Fiver, I don't believe they put their finger in his mouth.  I do remember that my stepmom (NICU nurse) saw him screaming and his tongue was raised and based on that she said that his tongue looked 100% fine.  Can you tell from that?  His raised tongue? 

Amayzie, when I was using the shield, I'd wet the sides of it to ensure suction, but I didn't do it like you said.  Thank you for that information!  Never was told that before either. 

Ali, yes I tried that.  He just doesn't know that my breast is a source of food. 

Erin, my hospital does have that once a week.  I went to one and that's actually where I got the SNS and the LC was very nice and helpful and she couldn't understand either why he wouldn't latch.  It is on Thursdays and unfortunately I don't have anyone to help with getting the twins off the bus that day. 

Zacsmumme, when he has latched I only recall once him really sucking vigorously and heard consistent swallowing.  The other few times he had a strong suck and I know he was getting milk, but it wasn't the constant swallowing like I heard that one time.  The last few times I tried the shield, he was very frustrated and it kept coming off.  He didn't do that the prior times he'd latched on the shield. I don't think he was in any pain, I think he was just frustrated it wasn't coming out fast enough.  His health is great thankfully.  No issues at all.  His last pedi visit she said that he was getting the BM and that was the most important thing and I know it is.  However, I really really want to exclusively bf him.

I looked into LL meetings and they meet here the first week of the month.  Hopefully I can get childcare for the twins so I can go with ds. 

Thank you girls so much.  You've given me hope when it was dwindling and information that I didn't know about.  I appreciate it more than you know.  If bfing doesn't work, I need to know that I did everything in my power to get it to work.  But you have renewed my hope that there's a chance and for that I'm very grateful. 

[zeri]

Wow, what great advice - I wish I had been on this site with my first LO!
just a brief though, if you DS really resisted the nipple-sheild, could he be sensitive to silicone? I know they are supposed to be hypoallergenic, but I used nipple sheilds when getting my DD to latch and ended up with a nasty rash.

[Nicole3]

Wow, what great advice - I wish I had been on this site with my first LO!
just a brief though, if you DS really resisted the nipple-sheild, could he be sensitive to silicone? I know they are supposed to be hypoallergenic, but I used nipple sheilds when getting my DD to latch and ended up with a nasty rash.

I don't think so bc he latched I'd say 10 times prior to him fighting it.  Thank you though!

[*Ali*]

When you slipped him the breast mid-bottle did you squeeze some breast milk out so it was on the end for him to taste before he actually had to suck? If not that might be worth a go.

I really admire your dedication.

[kellyincali]

HUGS again!

I looked into LL meetings and they meet here the first week of the month.  Hopefully I can get childcare for the twins so I can go with ds.

Even if you can't get childcare for the twins on the day of your LLL meeting, bring them with you!!!! LLL is full of really supportive women who want to help and won't mind watching your twins while you get some help. I took DS1 to meetings when DS2 was born and the ladies there helped out with him and I have done the same for other women. So if you can't get a sitter, don't despair, just bring them with.

[Nicole3]

When you slipped him the breast mid-bottle did you squeeze some breast milk out so it was on the end for him to taste before he actually had to suck? If not that might be worth a go.

I really admire your dedication.

Yes I did.    
You girls are so kind with your help and encouragement.  Thank you.  

[Nicole3]

HUGS again!

I looked into LL meetings and they meet here the first week of the month.  Hopefully I can get childcare for the twins so I can go with ds.

Even if you can't get childcare for the twins on the day of your LLL meeting, bring them with you!!!! LLL is full of really supportive women who want to help and won't mind watching your twins while you get some help. I took DS1 to meetings when DS2 was born and the ladies there helped out with him and I have done the same for other women. So if you can't get a sitter, don't despair, just bring them with.

Never thought of that!  Great idea.  Thank you! 

[*Ali*]

And another thought I had was whether you could hand express some milk so it is spraying and try to spray it in his mouth. Might sound stupid but possibly worth a go. It occurred to me so I thought I'd mention it.