18mo taking 45mins-1hr to settle at BT-please help

[clairebear79]

Yes 6.30 sounds ok.  If you get a longer nap I'd probably go nearer to 7. 

Yes things might get worse before they get better b/c pushing the nap later may well cause OT.  We certainly found it to be the case & had a tough few weeks, but I'm so glad I did it b/c he now sleeps better than he ever has done before.x

[*foxy*]

That's Good to hear! She's always been pretty terrible so for us all to finally, eventually, get some sleep would be amazing!!
I'll stick with and try to keep to 5 hours pm A time every day?

[*foxy*]

Shes finally gone to sleep at 7.20, that's almost a 15 hour day, she's so overtired!
Did your lo take so long to settle at night?

[clairebear79]

How long did she nap for in the end & how long did it take her to settle at BT?

I may be way wrong about your situation, it just struck a chord with me b/c we battled EW for so long & it was completely down to the earlier nap & too long an A time to BT causing him to be OT at BT (even with EBT) which = EW.

We did have some massive OT to push through to get us back to the later nap, and it was hard. 

If you think she is mega OT then perhaps you might be better all round to pull things back again & give her a catch up day & you might find it comes right by itself.xx 

[*foxy*]

She had a 2 hour nap in the end 12-2, I woke her up, is that ok to wake her?
It took 45 mins for her to go to sleep. 

Should I keep sticking at it? It just seems like such a long day for her

[clairebear79]

OK so that was almost a 14hr day in total but on the positive, you got a decent nap.  And one long day isn't going to ruin things. 
So did you try for a 6.30pm BT then   I would probably say that might have been a bit too early after a 2hr nap - so even if she's OT from the long day, she may still have been UT for BT.  IIWM I'd be going for more like 5hrs A after a 2hr nap.

How about you see what time she's up in the morning before you decide what to do tomorrow?x

Hope you get a decent night.xx

[*foxy*]

Hi

Yes, sorry, a 14 hour day, she's been doing long days for ages.
I tried for a 7pm BT because I've been trying to stick to a 5 hour A time in the afternoons. I start the BT routine at 6 because it takes her so long to go to sleep.

She woke at 12 and took a while to settle.  She stirs at 5am but doesn't get up until 5.30. She's with her grandparents today, I'll ask them to put her down so that her nap  starts at 12 I think?

[clairebear79]

What time do you actually put her down into bed, assuming you are wanting her to be asleep at 7?  If she has been taking say 30-45mins to fall asleep, then are you putting her in bed 30-45mins before you want her asleep b/c you know this is how long she will take to go down, IYSWIM?  If so, then I would say that's too early & she probably isn't tired enough, hence it may take even longer for her to go over than your planned 30 mins IYSWIM? 

I usually put my LO down 10mins before I want him asleep.  If I did it any earlier he'd shout, call, jump & probably cry, and he wouldn't be asleep until probably 10mins AFTER I originally wanted him to be!  I have to say though, I think we are actually just approaching the point where my LO is UT with a 2hr nap & 5hr A time to BT.  For the last 2 nights we've had BT resistance & today we got an EW too.  SO I am waiting a few more days & then I'm probably going to cap his nap again, so its 12.30-2.15 & try the 5hrs A to BT & see if it helps.

So if the BT resistance carries on for your LO, it may be that after a 2hr nap, a 5hr A isn't enough.  Or a 2hr nap is just too much day sleep.  In which case it might be something you need to consider too.xx

Oh & BTW I think 12pm nap sounds like a good plan.x

[*foxy*]

Hi

We do a bath for about 15-20 mins which she loves. She does get very excited after the bath, then we do nappy, pyjamas, sleeping bag. the whole time her room has low lighting with some soft music, she has  some milk and then does her teeth. then its stories (about 2 or 3) she loves stories, then its lights out, a bit of a cuddle and into her cot.

So bath is about 5.45 until about 6, then bedtime routine for 20-25 mins then into her cot. I'm aiming for her to be asleep at 7pm. Bath used to be 6.20 but we brought it forward to try and bring BT forward but its not really made much difference.

She goes into her cot fine but just doesn't settle, she looks like she's almost asleep within 10 mins of her going into her cot but is then suddenly standing or sitting up. she does a lot of thrashing about. she needs to cuddle my hand quite a lot which I'm trying to change with GW but this just adds to how long it takes for her to settle.

I don't know how to change BT, are we doing something we shouldn't? She only had an hours sleep today from 12-1. So early BT if we can..............

[*foxy*]

So yesterday went:

WU 6am
Nap 12-2
BT we aimed for 7pm but she wasn't asleep until 7.40, we had a bath at 6.15-6.30, her usual wind down of pj's, milk, teeth, stories, cot (into her cot at 6.50)

NW's 10.30, 12 and 3.30 with a WU at 6am

I'm lost, completely lost

[clairebear79]

Sorry I've not been around the last couple of days, having a busy time wedding planning!

Hmmmm.  Its so tricky to know for sure whether its OT or UT.  WHat does your gut tell you?  Often your mummy instinct is the one that is right.  Do you feel she is too tired?  Or fighting BT b/c she isn't tired enough?  And what is she doing at the NW's - crying?  chatty? 

goes into her cot fine but just doesn't settle, she looks like she's almost asleep within 10 mins of her going into her cot but is then suddenly standing or sitting up. she does a lot of thrashing about. she needs to cuddle my hand quite a lot which I'm trying to change with GW but this just adds to how long it takes for her to settle.

How long do you stay in the room with her?  I've found with my LO if I'm in there, he just gets distracted, so he's best left alone.  I'm just wondering if you persevere with the GW whether this may help.  Having said that, if she's plain old UT then that's not going to change how long it takes her to settle really.

So hard to say what to do.  IIWM in your shoes, I would still persevere with pushing the nap back to its former 12.30.  How long have you been with nap at 12pm now - a week?  Maybe time to nudge it on a wee bit to 12.15?  I am also wondering if trimming the nap a bit may be an idea, perhaps just by 15mins & keep the A time to BT the same, & if she settles better at BT then the answer may be her A wasn't long enough after a 2hr nap.

We have just started this with my 18.5 month old DS.  He's not taking ages to settle at BT, BUT instead we get 10.5hr nights.  Its always been his way.  So we capped his nap at 1h 45 yesterday (12.30-2.15) & stuck with a 5hr A to BT as usual, & he was up at 6.40am today which is a big improvement on 6am.  I think we're actually going to have to cap nearer to 1.5hrs if we want a longer night of 11.5hrs though.

[*foxy*]

Hi

Thankyou for your reply. Im just SO confused! I have a feeling that she's not tired enough at BT. When she had that day (on friday) that she only had 1 hours sleep at 12-1 then she settled really quickly at BT and we only had one NW. Yesterday she had a 2 hour nap 12-2 and she took 50 mins to go to sleep and we had 3 NW's!

I was thinking about capping her nap to 1 hour 45 and seeing what that does, should I try 12.15-2? And then BT at 7pm?

She's currently waking at 6am which is better but it's still too early!

GW is prooving quite difficult. I used to rock her to sleep so things have improved but she still heavily relies on our presence to go to sleep which is definitely a problem. Im not sure how to progress from here. She currently holds onto my hand when she goes to sleep or she needs us to stroke her back to help her settle. She reaches up for our hand and gets really frustrated if we dont respond. So should I just not respond or should I try to keep some contact but not so that she's properly snuggling into our hands?

[clairebear79]

I have a feeling that she's not tired enough at BT.

If that's what your mummy instinct says, then that is probably right! 

I was thinking about capping her nap to 1 hour 45 and seeing what that does, should I try 12.15-2? And then BT at 7pm?

This looks like a good plan.  Just watch her closely for signs of tiredness as pushing out and capping at same time may make her a bit OT.

She's currently waking at 6am which is better but it's still too early!

Its definitely an improvement though, which is great.   Pushing the nap that bit later will help with this some more - it certainly made the world of difference to us.

WRT the GW thing - TBH its not something I've had to do with my LO as a toddler so I'm not entirely sure what your next step would be & I'd hate to give you poor advice!  So I will see if I can get some more eyes on this for you.

(((hugs)))

[*foxy*]

Brill, thanks. And thankyou so much for your help.

I tried to have as little contact with her as possible tonight, she did really well to begin with, she just needed a little stroking on her back and she held my hand a bit before she went to sleep. It was better than usual. She let me sit down next to her cot too without too much protest, usually I have to stand as she goes mad if I sit down! So that's positive. It took about 30 mins for her to go to sleep.

She was asleep by 7.20pm, had an hour and 3/4 nap from 12.15-2pm. So we'll see how tonight goes!

[clairebear79]

I'll keep my FX'd for you.

Hopefully someone will be along to help with the GW thing soon.

xx