18mo taking 45mins-1hr to settle at BT-please help

[*foxy*]

Bedtime is an absolute nightmare.......................

We went away for the weekend to see my family and the drive there is about 2.5 hours so I left just before she usually naps - she didnt nap the whole way there. There was absolutely no point in even trying for a nap when we got there so we had a no nap day. BT was 6.45, 2 NW's, WU 5.45am
The next day was nap 1.5 hours BT 7.30pm WU 5.50am

She has been super super clingy with meltdowns happening often (not like her) no one will do apart from me. This started on Monday. Tuesday night was PERFECT. She sttn 7.30-6.30. She was at the childminders Wednesday who almost called me at work because DD was so upset and so clingy. DD had a 1 hour 40 min nap and was fine afterwards.
BT last night (Wednesday) was so awful that it made me cry! She was SO upset, she was crying and crying no matter what I did. It took 2.5 hours for her to go to sleep and woke at 5am in a very bad mood. She had 8.75 hours!!!!!!

Today she only napped for 1 hour and BT is still going on, we started the bedtime routine at 5.30pm. She was alseep in my arms (I resorted to cuddles just to get her to sleep!) I put her in her cot (fast asleep) 2 mins later shes crying, I repeat the process and the same thing happens. My Dp has taken over because I have lost it.

Sorry for the rant, I am just SO fed up and so down hearted, I needed to vent!

[Bex09]

Oh no, hugs hun. Sounds like either teeth, OT or SA. What do you think it seems like? The fact that DD is so clingy and upset in the day would suggest something is going on. Have you tried pain meds or teething gels?

[*foxy*]

I think its SA, which we've been through before but this is another level. She was a bit better today (slightly less clingy) but why won't she go to sleep!?! Its taken over 3 hours!!!! She's had the maximum pain meds before bed. She was yawning and rubbing her eyes and seemed to go to sleep countless times but then would turn over and start crying. I definitely think shes OT but she's never taken this long to settle before no matter how OT she's been.
DP thinks that we just need to change her BT routine but I think its more than that. I have no idea

[Bex09]

How long has her A time to BT been after an hr long nap? If there is a combination of SA and OT then that would make BT really hard. What is your BT routine like and why does DH think it needs changing?

[*foxy*]

Today was the only day that she's had an hours nap, yesterdays nap was 1 hour 40. It's been the last 2 nights that have been really awful

Yesterdays A time we tried for 5.25/5.5 hours but it ended up being 6.25 hours.
Today we tried for 5.25/5.5 hours again but it ended up being 7.25 hours.

We currently watch In The Night Garden as part of the BT routine but we think we should stop as we don't think its helping

[*foxy*]

Another 9 hour night, with a couple of short NW's. How can she look rested

[Bex09]

Hi there, it could be that the tv is too stimulating for her before BT. Have you tried something quieter instead to see if that works? Also do you try together lots of physical play in during her afternoon A time? We find that plenty of running around in the garden or a trip to the park, swimming, etc really helps to wear DD out. Also have you tried picking a nap time (say 1.5hrs) and BT and WU time and really sticking to it for at least a wk? I know my DD thrives on routine and set times now she is older. It works wonders and I wonder if the swapping and changing is confusin your DD a bit. What do you think?

[*foxy*]

we've stopped tv before bed now, we just do more stories and chat through her day.
Yes, I think that's a good idea trying to stick to set nap and BT's, I'm going to try to do that over the next week. Tonight she was actually much better which is such a relief! 

[Bex09]

I know your DD is lower sleep needs than mine but here are our set times in case that helps at all. Feel free to ignore! lol. We have just pushed her morning A time longer and shortened the nap by 15 mins so we do...

wu- 7.30
Nap- 1.00-2.45 (I wake her)
BT - 7.30 (asleep by 7.45 at latest)

Maybe pick a morning A time that you know works well and work from there. It could be that with that shortened nap your DD needs an even shorter A time to BT. Could she be taking ages to settle from being OT at BT? So she needs that long A time in the morning, a shorter nap but then a short A time to bed. What do you think?