4 week old struggling to stay asleep during light sleep phase

[donvitol]

Since she has been about 1 week we have struggled with DD staying asleep once she falls asleep.  It is not the 10 and 20 minute jolts that are waking her, but she will just wake up during the light sleep stage.  This happens about 5 times before she finally stays asleep.  I used to have her only in the crib, but the process of getting her back to sleep 5 times took too long and was too frusturating for me.  I have 2 other children.  So I am only wearing her in a sling or rocking her to sleep now.  (she does 1 carseat nap a day as well).  But still it takes me 30-60 minutes to get her to enter a deep sleep.  Very frusturating to be spending hours a day trying to get her to stay asleep.  And now she is only taking short naps.  So all that work just for 20-30 minutes in her crib.  Losing my mind here.  I know everyone is going to say she is so young, don't worry about it.  But what am I supposed to do in the meantime??

A time is roughly 45-60 min. 

[creations]

Big ((hugs)) for you.
It must be really hard work with two other children to care for at the same time.  I really feel for you.  I remember spending a long time getting my LO to sleep and he is my only one, I truly don't know how anyone manages with more!

It's true she is young, and it's going to take some time yet before she has learned to sleep well.
I had my LO in a travel cot in the living room for the first 10 weeks (at which point he refused to sleep and I tried taking him up to his bed and he went off brilliantly, so he had chosen to move to the quiet upstairs).  This meant that I could more easily 'continue' with other things and also be right there if he needed another shush or pat.  Sure, I didn't have two LOs making noise, but the house was not kept silent for his naps.  The TV or music would be playing and I sometimes had my mum over who is not the quietest of people.  I'd also get on with things like vacuuming or cooking whilst he napped.
Do you think something like this might be possible?  A travel cot/pack and play or a pram somewhere close to the living area to enable you to put her down (you could rock her in the pram) but still be available for your other two?

The sling is great, mine took naps out and about in the sling and once or twice at home when I was having difficulty settling him, so at least my arms were free, but I know even small babies get heavy!

I also remember it taking the full 20 mins (as Tracy said) for him to fall asleep, I'd swaddle, cuddle and calm then pop him in his cot and I could have set a clock by it...I often sang as the shushing I found hard to keep up for 20 full mins (but some people record it and play back, or replace it with white or pink noise, sounds much easier!), but at the end of the 20 mins his eyes closed.  I can also remember the more difficult times of it taking an hour.  I would sometimes rock the travel cot a little if he started rousing, which I felt was preferable to picking him up because it maintained the feeling of his own weight on the mattress and I could gradually wean.  Sometimes I also found he would wake up after a short time but didn't cry, he just lay there, swaddled, gazing, and would continue to gaze for ages, I think he maybe felt comforted by the household noises and knowing I was there, he sometimes fell back to sleep after a long time gazing.

Not a perfect solution for you, just thoughts.  Like I said, at 10 weeks he chose to move to his night time bed so I personally didn't have a problem with the transition.  We had an amby hammock (for his night sleep) which he found very comfortable and when he woke in there his own body movement rocked it slightly which helped to lull him back off to sleep without my help.  You cannot use a swaddle with the hammock (for safety) so he was swaddle weaned at 10 weeks too.

Maybe others have some helpful tips too.
Have you looked on the twos board I think there are some helpful tips there
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=20.0

[donvitol]

I guess I am not concerned about spending some time to get her to nap in her crib, but can't spend an hour each nap doing it, even if I didn't have other kids! Is possible or should even be trying now with how many times she wakes up from her light sleep, and how long it takes her to stay asleep, even when I am holding her?  Do you know how long this phase lasts for, how long before there light sleep becomes not so light? 

[creations]

There's an interesting article on sleep here
http://www.parentingscience.com/baby-sleep-patterns.html

I suppose sleep training just DOES take a lot of time.  If you APed all naps now in the sling or pram etc you might find that easier going, and tackle the independent sleep later on, in a few months, but I imagine that would take a week or two of 'full on' sleep training and lots and lots of work/time/effort.  Starting at this young age is gentler as it is a slower more gradual process, but it's up to you when to sleep train, either way it takes time and effort.
You could try for one nap per day in the cot (so putting in the time but only once per day) and AP the rest?  What do you think?
This light sleep must be really exhausting for you, on the positive side light sleep in such young babies is much safer so perhaps thinking of it that way might help you get through?

I'm sorry I don't have the answers for you.  I'll see if some more eyes can pop in for you.
xx

[donvitol]

Thanks for the article and suggestions!

[Fiver]

If you were doing some naps in the sling, you can at least pat/rub while she's dropping off/entering light sleep and then hopefully she'll drift into a deeper sleep.

Could wind or hunger be causing any issues too? (sorry if that's a daft question)

[creations]

Couple more things you could try (suggested by another mod):

White noise (or pink noise/brown noise, there are different sounds you can get, LO maybe prefer one to another.  You can download them free from some websites, of for very very little payment, and burn to CD to play on repeat in her room. Or even just try de-tuning a radio).  Sometimes this can help so they are not sleeping in total quietness and other noises can disturb the sleep.

A totally blacked out room, no light at all (easiest and cheapest method to try this out is using kitchen foil as it fits the windows perfectly, use tape to keep in place.  if you find it help there are some blackout blind recommendations you can look into for a longer term solution - although nearly a year on I still have kitchen foil on the windows!).

If you rock/hold/use the sling until LO is asleep you might be able to put her down in her cot with the white noise and blackout to help her stay asleep.

[donvitol]

Thanks for the tips ladies.  When i use the sling, I do pat/shush her.  And I wait until she is in a deep sleep before I put her down.  I do use loud white noise, but have not been blacking out the room.  I have blackout curtains in the boys room, maybe it would help her too. 

I don't think wind/ hunger are issues.  She just would have eaten 30 minutes ago.  She does have a lot of gas, but when she has that she would wake up crying, not startling out of her sleep.

[creations]

I do use loud white noise

I personally found white noise didn't help my LO when we did have sleep troubles but clearly it helps many.  Maybe try a different sort of white/pink noise?  Clutching at straws here but just trying to think of something that may help.  Some of the pink noises are things like water flowing rather than the white noise fuzz...but there are also sounds of vacuum cleaners, hair driers...a whole host of different ones!