17 mth old refusing some meals - not sure why?!?

[Josiepops]

Hi there,

My DS has always had a brilliant appetite.  For the last 3 days (and sporadically over the last few weeks), he's been refusing to eat cooked meals at lunch and dinner time.  He is still very enthusiastic for breakfast but come lunch and dinner he either wants to fiddle with his food and move it out of the way.

I haven't been offering an alternative and I haven't been giving him a pudding (even though non verbally I know he is telling me he wants one) as I feel quite strongly that this won't lead to positive eating habits etc in the long run.  So we have lots of frustrated crying and either straight to bed after lunch (goes down with no probs) or some chill out play after tea.

As his behaviour is new to me I'm trying out some techniques which I believe in (no alternatives / no pudding etc) but I just hope I'm not being mean/single minded.....  I say this as he has just starting walking a week ago (not sure if this makes a difference), he has 3 molars coming through (previous teeth have never caused more than a smaller appetite over a day or so) and he may well be shattered by the time I'm trying to teach him what happens at meals times.

I guess I just want to send out the right messages and be consistent.  PLEASE advise if you think I need to reconsider my approach.

Wouldn't it be fab if you could be confident about your parenting choices  - doesn't work like that for me - hey ho 

THANK YOU once again mums and dads on this forum x

[Lemonthyme]

I don't know what's best if I'm honest.  Generally I do still give pudding even if he doesn't eat well with his main.  My reasoning is I design his meals as a whole so the pudding might be the only aspect with significant carbs for example.  I only give him puddings which are either low sugar or no added sugar then I don't feel as 'guilty' about it.  Here are some recipes if that would help:

http://mamacook.blogspot.com/search/label/Pudding%20Recipes%20for%20Babies%20or%20Toddlers

My rationale is that if I start denying him puddings then they become more interesting.  Not sure if that's true.

It gets so hard around that age.  They're starting to exert their independence, sometimes it helps with my son to give him a choice but give him two or three choices where I know I'm happy about it whatever he choses, e.g. "do you want carrots, peas or sweetcorn?"

[Josiepops]

Finding this hard....

He's just refused his main meal.  Lovely creamy and cheesy fish pie - the sort of thing he should wolf down.  Again I've not offered an alternative and have skipped pud but really don't know if i'm doing the right thing.

Because he is so clingy and generally unable to wait when he is hungry, I can't easily make choices (cos he needs near constant attention) and I usually pull a pre-prepared meal out of the freezer so only have the one choice.

Really feel like I'm a bit lost on this one - He's off to nursery for the next three days - Not sure I can expect them to follow through  my choices if other babies are eating what they like.

Help!

[Lemonthyme]

I can sympathise with the clinginess.  My son is still the same at 22 months.  I have a chalk board in my kitchen he will sometimes play with (and my kitchen is fortunately big enough to be safe).  Do you offer a choice of a couple of veggies with the food?  Do you eat with him?  Might not work out timings wise for tea but might for lunch.  Could it be teeth.  I blame everything on teeth lol!

[stardust599]

My LO can go through phases of being extremely fussy without food.  It seems from most of the things that I have read that the best thing to do if a meal is refused it to take it away without comment or fuss and offer the next course.  I only offer healthy "pudding" - generally fruit or yoghurt.

I also find that sometimes my LO will refuse her meal completely but will eat the veggies offered on the side.  And when we are going through a really fussy phase for a few days or more I find that offering something she can completely feed herself with no spoon feeding from me encourages her to eat too.

I always eat with LO where possible and it helps too!

I have the clinginess too :-(  Quite often my LO will eat a pre prepared meal (cooked the night before) or a toddler meal as she just won't let me put her down to cook.  For lunch I try to have things that can be prepared really quickly!  And I offer a little "starter" in the highchair to keep her going while I make it.  Usually chopped cherry tomatoes, a few cubes of cheese or a piece of buttered bread x