Has anyone come out the other side?!?!?

[Mackjack]

I know there are lots of posts very similar to this but I just wanted to see if anyone had successfully got through picky eating?

LO is 20months old. I did baby-led weaning with her (which I think is brilliant) but I think where I went wrong is that I was so obsessed with her liking fruit and veg that these were the food groups I concentrated on at the beginning and didn't give her so much meat and some other things like rice. So she always goes for fruit/veg and colourful looking food above all else now.

Recently she's very reluctant to try anything new - especially if it looks boring. i.e. the other day I gave her stew which was obviously very brown and she wouldn't even try it. Plus she's rejecting dinner regularly, even if it's something she likes. More often than not, particularly with dinners, I'll put her food in front of her and she'll play with it, have 2 or 3 mouthfuls and then say "finished" or not even try it at all. Also, she doesn't really seem to like meat. She'll eat ham and lately she's had some sliced chicken (won't eat proper chicken) but I'm worried about her protein intake.

Tonight I gave her macaroni cheese and corn on the cob. The corn went in seconds (as expected) but she tried a bit of the pasta and screwed up her face and spat it out. Ok, she may have genuinely disliked it (although she does like cheese and pasta).

I try not to make a fuss when she doesn't eat her main meal and I always give her a dessert (usually fruit or yogurt based).

So what do I do - just keep offering her a range of new foods and ones she's tried before and wait for her to grow out of it?

Here's a typical day:
Wake up - 8oz milk
Breakfast - cereal with fruit or toast with mashed banana - always some kind of fruit and she usually eats breakfast

Lunch - a favourite is a mixed plate with things like olives, tomatoes, crackers, cheese, fruity couscous (though she picks out the fruit), fruit loaf with butter etc - usually eats this well. Or she loves beans on toast.

Dinner - normal meals are pasta with cheese & veg, sausage with sweet potato and veg (doesn't seem to like sausage much nor sweet potato), stir-fried veg with noodles (used to love noodles, seems to reject them now). Must admit I struggle to come up with new dinner ideas but when I do - i.e I tried a fruity moroccan chicken dish - she normally rejects them which makes me reluctant to spend hours cooking it in the first place!!

[Mackjack]

...also, she has 8oz of milk at bedtime too.

[clazzat]

It is frustrating and demoralising dealing with a picky toddler, but it sounds like you are doing all the right things. I have btdt and come out the other side, so I can tell you that it does get better. Given that your lo is eating a good breakfast, and is putting away the fruit and veg, I think that you will be absolutely fine. Keep offering new foods mixed in with the favourites (a lot of people try to make a plate with 2 things they know lo will eat, 1 they might eat and 1 they probably won't to get the exposure to new things) and don't make a big deal of it when she doesn't want it. It is good that she feeds herself as you can give her the food you want her to eat and leave her to try what she wants. I found that often dd1 would eat better when I didn't pay attention, so I would often give her her food and then go into the kitchen where I could see her but I wasn't hovering over her and she didn't feel the pressure. For us, snacks were also useful as well as they seemed to keep her blood sugar a bit more even and we had fewer problems - a lot of people find the opposite with snacks though!

One thing - do you have any idea what might be causing the pickiness? There is normal toddler pickiness and there is "emotional" pickiness - for us it was a reaction to my pregnancy and the arrival of dd2. Any major upheaval in your lo's life that might be contributing to it?

[Mackjack]

Thank you for the reassurance. Yes, I tried ignoring her when she eats and I've also tried sitting with her and eating some of the same food as her - sometimes it works, sometimes not.....

I can't think of any upheavals recently.

When she does try foods and spits them out, I assume this is because she genuinely doesn't like them but I don't tend to offer her anything else - is this ok? I feel really guilty about it but I think if I start offering her alternatives she might realise she can manipulate meal times and start rejecting any foods until she gets one she wants.

Did your LO just grow out of this?

[clazzat]

I was careful not to offer too much in the way of alternatives - as you say, they do get the idea that they can hold out for something better. As long as you are not giving her things that she doesn't like every meal then it is okay to take away the things that she genuinely doesn't like and then not offer anything else - I think you said that she gets her fruit/dessert anyway? She's not going to starve, so it's okay for her to miss the odd meal.

Dd1 did just grow out of it and now she is willing to try lots of new things - there is light at the end of the tunnel! She also now eats lots of things that she really didn't eat at all - pasta, particularly is one of her favourites now and she never used to touch it.

[Mackjack]

Yes, she always gets a dessert and at the end of the day she has her milk so yes, she won't starve!!

Thank you so much - great to hear that your DD grew out of it. I still beat myself up for not offering her a wider range of food right from day 1 of weaning but I console myself by remembering that I've never given her junk food so even if her diet is very limited, at least what she is eating is generally nutritious!!

[clazzat]

Do you know, I would say I offered a pretty wide range of foods from the beginning, as I tried to give her the same as we were eating and I don't think that made any difference at this point. One of the reasons for toddler pickiness is that they have a lot more taste buds than us, and I believe there is a peak in the number that they have round about this age so they struggle with flavours because they are much stronger than they should be.

[Lolly]

I have a 5yo who has come out the other side and a toddler currently driving my loopy!

He went through the fussy picky thing, wouldn't eat any carb except bread, wouldn't try anything new, lived on fresh air etc etc . Now, he eats a good variety and will try new stuff (and often likes new things), he chooses things for his school dinners that amazes me! My DD sounds pretty much like your DD, eats well(ish) for some parts of the day, eats nothing at others. Tonight she has gone to bed after a dinner of cucumber and that's not unusual - she doesn't do much protien either. It doesn't seem to have an impact on her sleep and she is growing well so I think she is getting what she needs from somewhere!

Her behaviours at meals at the end of the day are very like her brother's were at this age so I *think* she will come out of it like he did (pleaseplease!!). I don't cook different things for them, I make sure there is always things I know they like for the majority of their meal and if they choose not to eat there's nothing else. I will offer supper just before bed but if they haven't eaten they really aren't hungry.

Laura

[Mackjack]

Thank you ladies! And, Lolly. I know what you mean about the not-eating-carbs thing - thought my LO was on the Atkins for a while!!!
x

[Lolly]

These kids are just crazy! DS was a pasta demon for ages, we did a combo of finger foods and puree from the start and he just couldn't get enough pasta and jacket potato. Suddenly when he was about 14 months or so he just refused to eat any pasta or potato, it lasted for ages then he just as suddenly started eating them again and "hot potato" is his favourite thing now (providing it has a snake of red sauce over it ).

DD has been the same with meats. She used to eat them just fine but suddenly started refusing it all except for ham. She will now eat sausages, some fish like fish fingers and a bit of chicken if the wind is blowing in the right direction. She will eat meat if it is hidden in things like cottage pie, or blitzed up and mixed into mash so I think it maybe a texture thing rather than a taste thing. But really, who knows

Laura

[clazzat]

I think the texture thing is really significant for a lot of los.

They are also quite good at self-regulating - they don't do the adult thing of knowing that they should be having a particular amount because it is lunchtime or whatever, but rather they eat what they want according to how hungry they are at that moment.

[Roseii]

Relieved to read this as I totally dispair of my 21mo She gets pickier by the day and I fed think texture is an issue as she gags on rice She will not *touch* veges, but luckily spag Bol is one thing she will eat so I hide veges in there. Breakfast she basically only eats fruit, and not even filling fruit like bananas, just strawberries, grapes and she loves fruit purees. Lunch she eats a bit of ham, morsel of cheese if I'm lucky, more berries Tea, she loves spag bol and a roast, and will eat pasta and fish fingers, oh and chips She rarely eats bread, or even toast which I thought all babies love! Oh she does love tomatoes and cucumber, so she gets them every day as part of her 5 a day. I said to DH tonight I feel like I'm depriving dd1 of more of a variety of foods b/c I'm always trying to accommodate dd2 Dd1 is a fantastic eater, so at least I have one

[Mackjack]

Yes, texture is definitely an issue I think - as soon as any mince meat touches LOs lips she spits it out.
Good to know there are lots of us in the same boat!

[Shdef]

Yes, we have 

Scotty was the pickiest wee man ever, it was hard to get calories into him, as he would prefer to only eat green and bitter things 

He has now a varied diet and normal weight, still slim, but not bony anymore.

Keep offering, keep changing textures, keep a large variety of tastes for him to explore, let him help with cooking, let him touch and play with the food.