Forever a milk addict?

[Miamamma]

My 8mo LO is bf and although I offer 3 solids meals a day, I am concerned that she will always prefer milk over a proper meal. A typical day:
6:00am bf
7:00am porridge with fruit purée (a good sized amount unless I try to make it textured rather than smooth, in which case she's not interested)
11:00am bf
12:00pm finger foods (eg pancake, toast, fruit pieces) I offer purée but she has started refusing all my home cooked veggie / chicken / fish meals regardless of smoothness / lumps. She enjoys mashed banana though. Yoghurt (loves this!)
3:00pm bf
4:30pm solids as for lunch.
6:30pm bf
X2 night bf

She is good at tackling finger foods but doesnt really get too much down her yet. The spoon is increasingly pushed away without even a taste, unless she knows its porridge, banana or yoghurt. I keep reminding myself not to worry and dont push things, but it hurts to scrape food i lovingly made into the bin every day. Im starting to dread mealtimes. 
I know that food before one is just for fun but the hv scared me by saying that if she won't eat lumpy foods, her speech development will be affected. I am also concerned that she will always fill up on milk rather than increase her solids. I would like to drop night feeds but worry that she still needs them as she's not eating enough during the day.
Her weight gain has slowed but she is still on 80th percentile so not exactly wasting away. Recently she has cut her first two teeth. I realise that this could be affecting her appetite, but she has been like this for some months now.
Please can anyone offer any advice or are things not as bad as I fear? Thank you 

[creations]

I would offer more finger foods if she is picking them up and eating them and let her increase the amount.  Spoon refusal could be an independence thing or a preference for finger foods.
If you find she'll take the toast you could use some of your purée as a spread on toast or various types of bread.
My DS never had any purees but did have porridge from 6 months on loaded spoons (he fed himself) then he totally refused the spoon for a long while so I had to re-think breakfast.  If your LO likes her porridge smooth I would just go with that, but you can also make finger food breakfasts instead if it gets to the point of total spoon refusal.

With regards to speech development, I'm pretty sure it isn't specifically lumpy puree that helps.  Finger foods help as they learn to manipulate the food in their mouth and use all the muscles etc.  Again increasing the variety of finger foods could be the way to go (it also helps with motor development).
I think it is too early to be worrying about how much solid food she takes in just yet.  There's another 4 months of eating practice to go before milk is reduced and solids take the lead.  That's a pretty long time, think about how much she developed in the last 4 months.

x

[Miamamma]

Thanks for the suggestions and reassurance Creations. I will focus more on the finger foods, stop stressing about the purees and try to use up stuff in the freezer by turning them into spreads...great idea!
She has just got another cold so that might explain her recent extra fussiness. I think the reason why I'm worried is because a friend of mine has a 15 month old who still breastfeeds through the night and day but doesn't eat much else. We are a long way from that point though, so I will chill out a bit!
Thanks again

[creations]

15 month old who still breastfeeds through the night and day

Yes, you are a long way from that point and it's good to keep in mind that people often choose to continue with things (even if they are unhappy with them) rather than set the ball in motion for change.

If your purees will keep in the freezer for a while it might be a god idea to wait a bit before you use them as spreads, just to give her some different flavours before using them up.  Another tip i've heard is to use them as a sauce for pasta, shells are good for finger foods as they trap the sauce inside, twists/spriali are good for early grip.  Any veg puree can be used up this way whether you do or don't add some chunkier veg in with the pasta too.

FWIW I always hated smooth food with lumps in (fruit yoghurt for example or soup with beans in), even most of my adult life I hated things 'mixed up'!

[Miamamma]

Ha yes, you have hit the nail on the head with my friend i think!

[dburseth]

Good suggestion on the veggie puree on the pasta, Creations! Glad I popped in here

Miamamma, I jusy wanted to say that my DS is 10.5 months and I have wondered the same thing although his problem isn't getting the solids down,its just that he just keeps wanting his BFs, too.  But he is slowly dropping one here and there or not taking both sides. 
So I think it will come for you too and just listen to her when she starts to change.  I'm going to start writing down the times DS is not as hungry or skips a BF as I find this helps me organize my lingering baby brain!  Teething is complicating things here, too.

Independence is a huge thing with my DS as well and he much prefers to feed himself.  Sometimes I forget and spoon feed and he'll slap the spoon away but if I load it and hand it too him he's all too happy to shovel it in.

[creations]

Good suggestion on the veggie puree on the pasta

Also makes a good basis for the sauce in a pie or for soups (although if LO isn't liking puree then prob won't like soup at this stage, but other kids or adults in the family will)

[Miamamma]

Hi Cam's mom. Sounds like your ds has a great appetite! Does he bf at night at all? I have just started trying to night wean dd as I think feeding at night may be affecting her appetite for solids. She isn't too bothered about bf during the day either as there is too much to see and explore!
I have been trying different finger foods with some success but many things are refused. She will go for pieces of food on its own (fruit, cheese, toast, chicken etc) but as soon as I try to give her a proper 'meal' (pasta and sauce, veggie frittatas) she isn't interested. It feels like every meal is a picnic! I keep trying new things but then end up giving her a tried and tested food so that she has had something. My hv said that I shouldnt do this as it will make her fussy....what do you think? Variety V quantity? I'm trying to find a balance 

[creations]

My LO is a great eater and was from the wrod go BUT it was quite some time before he could deal with a big variety of things on his plate at the same time and I agree it all felt a bit like a picnic for a while.  At this age Tracy advised us to 'Limit' and I think this applies to all aspects of activity including food.
I would put one thing you know she likes and one thing that is new on a plate for her.  If she doesn't like something don't worry, just keep offering it from time to time and try to balance her solids diet over a week rather than within each meal (so if one meal is carbs another can be fruit, another veg).  Try low level combinations for example if she likes cheese and likes toast one meal offer both separately but also a pieced of grilled cheese on toast too.
Another thing I found is that if I put too much of an item in front of DS in the early days (or even now if he is teething, or feeling tired or poorly) be would refuse the whole thing.  Just put one or two small pieces out for her (say the pasta) and she might be more inclined to explore it.  Even picking it up or smelling it is a start.

[Miamamma]

Thanks creations. I think I have been guilty of over facing her at mealtimes so I will limit what I offer her in future. I have also been feeding her small pieces of food when she doesn't go for it herself. She will often happily accept my offerings but perhaps I should just leave things in front of her and trust that she will take what she wants? She is quite capable of doing so but when she doesn't seem interested I start fretting...
I'm such a good eater, I just assumed my LO would be the same. It seems like for her, food is a slightly annoying distraction from more exciting activities.

[*Kara*]

Hugs ladies!

My DD was brutal with lumps/texture and still is at 17 months, but like creations - I'm not a fan of smooth things with lumps either so why worry about DD. 

DD was very reluctant to increase her solids until about a year of age, then she took off like a shot around 13 months or so... she is much like a baby goat now in that she will attempt most things.

Don't worry - DS will get there

[creations]

Don't know if I already said this, but, having your LO with you at meals times and letting her watch you eat and enjoy the food also makes a big difference.  I know LOs don't always eat at what we'd consider normal meal times but even if you only eat together once per day it will encourage her to copy what you eat.  There are times even now (with my big eater) that he will wait until he sees me eat something before he will try it, or he offers me a piece of his as though to test that it is ok.  I think of this as a pretty good survival strategy, getting mum to test for poison before eating it themselves

[dburseth]

Miamamma, yes DS still has one BF at night and we only recently dropped the second. 
I agree about the limited number of different foods offered at meals.  I think its the same with toys.  DH always sets DS down surrounded by toys and he often starts fussing and doesn't play with anything, but leave him with one toy and he plays with it.  I think if there's only a couple things on the tray to eat they will focus better on it.

Also, to come full circle...keep up the milk feeds til your LO is more interested in solids.  Then you know she's getting the nutrition she needs.  Food til one is just for fun.  Weaning the night feeds will probably help her along.  I think DS could go all night without the BF but I'm just so burnt out on NW its easier to feed him and have him go back to sleep then to try resettling without it