Shedding a tear

[cuckoochick]

So many hugs Amy ((((((((((( ))))))))))))). You have given Anna a fantastic start despite all the challenges you have faced. I think you are amazing xxx

[amayzie]

A chance to shop for some nice bras maybe?

Ah- to wear pretty underwire again! Hugs! What a special mummy you are!

[katie80]

Lots and lots of (((hugs))), my dear friend.  It really is so emotional and you two have had a rocky road lately.  You have done so, so well for her and kept at it despite difficult circumstances.  My eyes are stinging for you as well.

 

[Roseii]

Hugs sweetie it is heart breaking, especially when you feel like the decision is out of your hands (dd2 self weaned at 13.5m after I had a tummy bug and supply issues) I'll be honest and tell you I did cry for a week, but now I really look back on our time bf so fondly and just feel proud and happy that I did it. Hugs lovely xxxx

[teilvnav]

Thanks, girls. I am going to cry again now. 

I had a big cup of strong, full caff coffee after lunch today. Really enjoyed that! DH supports me either way; he is very pro-BFing and knows that stopping is very difficult for me, but he doesn't want me to whip myself over it. He was happy to give Anna her bottle this afternoon and have some bonding time with her.

I am ok with it on some levels, because it has been really hard and I am proud of myself for getting this far. Really... I am proud for getting to 6 months. DH was really sick when she was born, and was in the hospital for 2 weeks for surgery when she was two weeks old. I was here alone with both kids for that time, healing from childbirth and BFing. She is so bouncy that calluses have formed on both areolas. She got her first teeth at 5 months, and has had 4 colds and 2 ear infections. I have had daily spotting for weeks at a time and worried incessantly about my supply. So I am glad to have gotten this far. It's just so disappointing because I wanted to go further. I love nursing and I really wanted to go further. I quit with DS at 7.5 months when he bit me so hard he drew blood, and I always swore that my next LO would be nursed past his/her first birthday.

At least this will be easier is some ways; the dr is concerned that she has dropped from the 97th percentile at birth to the 10-25th at her 6 month check up, so this way I can count oz and make sure that she is getting enough food. I don't think it's a food issue but it is worth exploring. If it weren't for that then I would have made sure she didn't get a bottle anymore and focussed on nursing, but with her growth issue I am not comfortable doing that. She gets weighed in a few weeks and if she isn't improving then we get referred to a pediatrician. I can't hold out on her and try to get her to nurse because she can't lose more weight.

I am just sad.

[RachelC]

{{{hugs}}} and love Amy 

[my3girlsjde]

Awwww Amy so many hugs sweetie. You did so well and I know it was hard  I really do.

I know this is hard and you have a lot of hormones going on too. I really struggled when I stopped the big girls at six weeks. And I found doing some skin to skin cuddles when giving a bottle really helped.

I won't tell you not to cry because I did every time. You helped me when I was near done with E and I know you have done the best, given the best and met a huge milestone by going as long as you have with the challenges you have had. You have given her so much and you should be proud.

I hope you can take some comfort in the great thing you have given her and know that you are NOT giving up. You are transitioning her to a better option for her right now as you see it.

So many hugs

[Jenn+Ethan+Emily]

More ((((hugs))))

[koe2moe]

of course you are sad!  hugsss  we need time to grieve the passing of each phase also!  Dont forget to be proud of what you have done for her. xx

[*Liz*]

(((hugs))) Amy. I stopped with J at 7 mths and had my heart set on extended BFing with Megan, but life just had other plans yk?

You have done really well 

Just know that in only a few short weeks you will feel a whole lot better about it all as the hormones settle pretty fast.

I still give Megan bottles at going on 2. I could easily stop, but I still love to snuggle and cuddle and have that special bonding time. They call it bottle nursing, and IMO it is still pretty lovely 

[teilvnav]

Well, that will be one nice thing... when the hormones settle I won't be such a watering pot anymore! It is still making me tear up frequently. Especially when DH asked me last night at BT why she was doing a fluttery thing with her tongue on the bottle he was giving her... I got very upset and almost angry. That was *my* fluttery tongue thing! She was never one to comfort nurse, but she would do that several times a nurse and I always felt like it was her little happy feeding thing. He said that it was good that she was doing it on the bottle because it means that she is still happy and that she will adjust well to this, and that she still feels loved and like feeding is a cuddling, bonding time. I can see that, and I am glad if that's true, but it is still hard.

I am trying to see the bright side... new bras, no more decaf, maybe a return to a normal sex drive, no more exposing myself in public, shirts that don't have to be accessible. I can wear dresses again, which is nice because summer is coming and I like my maxi sundresses. No way I was hiking them up so I could nurse! But I already miss it so much. Part of it is habit; I have nursed repeatedly day after day for the last 6.5 months. And part of it is hormones I am sure. But I do almost feel like I am mourning nursing.

I am engorged and in pain from stopping abruptly so I am hand expressing 1-2 oz  once every few hours just to ease that. I don't want plugged ducts or mastitis, but I don't want my body to keep producing so I am only taking off a bit. I will stop that in a few days once the production slows. So at least she'll get my milk while I am taking it out.

I like the sound of 'bottle nursing'... going to try that today with some skin-to-skin cuddles.

Thanks, everyone. I appreciate the love. 

[anna*]

More hugs, much love, no tears. You did an amazing thing. You are an amazing mum. Anna is so lucky to have you.

[C&B&E]

Big hugs and well done Amy 

I had a similar battle with Ben (tongue tied, had to express as he couldn't feed, extended periods of agonising thrush) and then he just started preferring bottles at around 6 months - self 'weaned' from bf by 8 months  .  I was so gutted and cried many tears, but after a few weeks I realised I was *so* glad to be released from all the stress that I had been feeling just trying to get him to breastfeed!  Give yourself time to mourn what you've lost so that you can be happy moving onto the next phase of her babyhood (((((())))).  You'll look back and just feel pride. Well done sweetie x

[Erin M]

You're amazing sweetheart!  ((((hugs))))

[Yazzie]

((((((Hugs)))))