do you wake your toddler from naps?

[clairebear79]

Just wanted to do a bit of a poll to see what peoples opinions are on this.

None of my friends IRL ever wake their LO's from a nap.  At playgroup today my DS was the only one there with huge bags under his eyes & I am the only one capping his nap at 1.5hrs (he's 19 months).  My friends LO's (all a wee bit older than DS) are all doing a lovely 2hr nap, wake naturally, go to bed easily & are sleeping through 11.5-12hrs.  Yet on the exact same routine as them we got 10.5hr nights (hence why I started capping in the first place). 

I know not all children are the same, but I can't help feeling there may be a link between these great sleepers & not being woken from their naps, versus my child with bags under his eyes & not sleeping so well & the fact that I have, for months, woken him from his nap.  So I'm  having an almightly guilt trip about capping his nap & am in turmoil over whether I should continue to or not.

I suppose what bothers me is that if I am constantly waking him, is he ever getting the sleep that he actually needs   Or am I just expecting him to conform to my expectation of what is a suitable bedtime for him (7.30pm) rather than what he naturally needs? My other bugbear with capping is that he's not shortening the nap on his own.  Isn't it better for this to happen naturally at an age where they CAN cope with a longer day, rather than me forcing him to stay awake for longer on a shorter amount of day sleep?

I'd really appreciate people's thoughts/views on this subject.

xx

[clazzat]

I've woken all 3 of mine from naps from a very early age - I don't think it stops them being good sleepers. That said, if you are noticing other issues with your ds then perhaps he isn't getting enough sleep. Sometimes they just need one nap a week that you don't wake them from to catch up a bit.

What does your routine look like?

[*Becky*]

hugs hun, don't beat yourself up, you are doing a great job. We always woke H from naps and for him it was the right thing to do. He was a poor napper and from about 12 months never napped more than 2 hours a day but would do good nights.....that was enough for me to know that 2 hours was about right so when he went to one nap we kept it at 2 hours...

I think YOU are entitled to have an expectation of bedtime, there is nothing wrong with that so of 7.30pm suits you then work with that. Essentially even if you let him nap longer and go to bed later at some point you will have to cap the nap because when you hit the oh so lovely 1-0 it will just not be possible to have good naps and good nights.

If you think the routine is not working for him i.e. he is still tired then that is different and i guess something might need to be tweaked. I have not been following your other thread so feel free to post your routine of you want.

xx

[*Becky*]

posted same time as clazzat...

[Hedgehog17]

I'm pondering this one too..

Usually I wake DS from his nap after 2hrs (Thu - Sun), but his CM lets him sleep 2.5hrs (Mon - Wed). He has been EW for a few weeks (not mega early, 1hr - 30min early) and I haven't spotted any difference to this when he gets that extra 30min  

I'll let you know if this changes, but so far I don't think waking him from naps makes any difference.

hth  

[Roseii]

I usually wake dd2, unless she's had a really crappy night or really EW. I never used to but once she hit about 18mo it worked best to cap. Maybe you could try at 1 hr 45?
I know people IRL who cap naps, it's not just us BW'ers

[Mum-of-Two]

When I thought my Oliver might need to catch up on some sleep, for any reason and there are many reasons why he might get behind, I would move his nap time up rather then move his wake time back -- if that makes sense?  In other words, put him to nap earlier but still wake him normal time.  Its that A time between waking up from the nap and being ready for bed that made him be ready for bed time or not.

Also, the dark circles could be allergies and not over tired at all.  Are there any other indicators that your Oliver is over tired?  I think I am confused because you say you wake him because that equals a better, longer sleep -- but then you say he doesn't sleep well.  Maybe a couple of tweaks are in order, or maybe he's going through a growth spurt.  Or both!  

I'm assuming he's on 1 nap now too, yes?

[cath~]

Hi Claire,
I'm capping at around 1hr15 at the moment. We're getting one or two NWs/night and sometimes EW due to teething but I know that once the teeth are through and she's STTN again I will have to cap a bit more to get a BT and WU that suits me.
I do often have similar guilt issues to you though... I don't know any IRL friends that cap either!

[clairebear79]

Hi ladies

Thanks for the reassurance.  

I do often have similar guilt issues to you though... I don't know any IRL friends that cap either!

I think this is the root of my problem - everyone I know IRL don't ever wake their kids - its seen as a big no-no & so I can't help but feel like I shouldn't be doing it.

Also, the dark circles could be allergies and not over tired at all.  Are there any other indicators that your Oliver is over tired?  I think I am confused because you say you wake him because that equals a better, longer sleep -- but then you say he doesn't sleep well.  Maybe a couple of tweaks are in order

I'm pretty sure the dark circles are sleep related - we've had a very long time with them where he was early waking & then at Christmas that all changed, we got on a great routine (at long last) & the dark circles completely disappeared.  Its only taken a few weeks of EW for them to come back.  We DO need a routine tweak & I think this is why he's not sleeping so well atm, its just taking a while to figure out what he needs right now. I've been capping his nap b/c with a 5.5-6hr A / 2hr nap / 5hr A we started getting short nights, & every time I let him have a longer nap we get a short night, so I suppose deep down I KNOW I need to cap but it doesn't make it any easier - it just somehow feels wrong to wake him before he's ready.  But then I have to be willing to compromise on night sleep.  And I suppose its better for him to have a shorter nap & a longer night if that's what gets him the most sleep overall isn't it.

See I've talked myself around again now.  Thanks ladies.  Sorry for my unnecessary wobble!

[scucci1979]

I wake DD2 from her naps to give us a good night. DD1 was also woken up from naps, even though she was a high sleep need toddler.

Don't compare your lo to other los. It will just drive you mad. I tend to ignore my friends when they start talking about how a 3 hour nap for their lo doesn't affect nights.  hugs.
Can you perhaps, do a few days of a longer nap to help him catch up??

[cuckoochick]

We've had to cut C's nap back to 1.5hrs and her nights are still getting shorter. Some days she does a shorter nap by herself, others she is woken up. I prefer for her to have a long night's sleep. That said, C is very easy-going sleep wise. She was early going to one nap (11mos) so I'm expecting she will drop the nap early.

If we were to let her sleep as long as she liked for the nap, I don't think she'd go to Ned until 8:30pm. It's getting nearer to 8pm again for us anyway.

Hugs Claire. I think pps have said it all: you are doing the best for O.

[clairebear79]

Thanks again ladies.  Nicola out of interest, what does C's day look like now? 

We've done a full week of 1.5hr naps but he simply isn't tired at bedtime with a 5hr A time, so we've increased it up to 5.5hrs.  Night before last he slept almost 12hrs, then last night yet another 10.5hrs.  It just seems futile all this nap trimming, b/c it only seems to help for a day or so then we're back to square one with a short night & of course he then gets overtired. 

I've a horrible feeling if I want him to do a decent night I will have to cut his nap back more to 1hr.  I suppose if I can get him taking a consistently longer night then he shouldn't be so grumpy when I wake him b/c he'll be more rested overall, but it doesn't make this inbetween stage any easier!!!

[Jem88]

I never woke my LO before i joined here when she was 7 months old, BUT she was a terrible napper. She'd been having 2x 30-45min naps from 4-7 months and when i joined here and got some advice she then started having good naps. She now sleeps 30min AM and 1.5-2hr PM and i have to wake at both naps most of the time. She defo naps alot better since i've got her into a routine and wake.

She still has 2-4 NWs but she's been teething alot too. A friend of mine has 16 month old twins and a 2 year old and doesn't wake from naps and they all STTN!. x

[j.and.e]

I didnt cap ds nap until over 2 and we droppd it at 2.5. At 18mo he did Wu 7am nap 1-3/3.30 bt 8 or 8.30. He usd to wake singing in the am! Waking from nap made him super dificult and i likd time with him after work. Xx

[scucci1979]

I prefer the longer night.

DD1 was a great sleeper. She would take 3hour naps and still do 11hr nights. If Alyssa naps for 3hrs she won't be going to bed until 10pm.