I REALLY want to Breast Feed!

[weaver]

Just wanted to add that we had a very hard first week or so with LO1 as he lost lots of weight, 'forgot' how to feed, cried all night, I was in agony etc etc...

Somehow, with a team effort, we went on to BF for 18 months!  So you can do it with the right support...a lot of that is simply having people around who don't make unhelpful comments or pressurise you.  We were lucky with our MW who held off with 'stressful' comments til after we'd got through it when she told us that she'd been keeping a very close eye and others would have packed us off to hospital where LO would definitely have ended up being formula fed. So chose your allies carefully.  It *is* a learning experience and, this time around, I'm telling myself that the first week is all about BFing and nothing else (maybe sleep..).  Every feed's a lesson and then, suddenly, it's a breeze.

IRL support is vital.  So is preparation: I love the Jack Newman website and the La Leche League's Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is like a telephone directory on the subject.  Maybe they'd help/reassure you.

On the DS1 topic, yes, I'm wondering about that too!  Mine loves to read so perhaps it'll be snuggle and storybook time. Or colouring, he loves that too.  His grandma gave him a train set which we've hidden away to produce as a baby present.  I'm also thinking feeds will coincide with our snacks and meals some of the time so that'll make things a bit easier too.  I'll be giving him lots of cuddles and kisses so he doesn't think LO2 is getting more of mama than him.

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

I didn't know you could phone them? I'll never be off the phone lol! I'll possibly acquire some email addresses and mobile numbers of some fellow BW's to keep me going too

I'll probably get Dp to read this thread too

[amayzie]

The phone lines we have here are great- i assume it's the same where you are- ours are 24 hours- so if it's the middle of the night and you have no idea (screaming baby.. sobbing mamma... ) you can just call! And of course- the beautiful thing about the international nature of our forum is that there is someone on line at any time of the day or night to help you out- or offer a hug!

Anyway- i'm sure you'll be great!

Did you see this sticky before? http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=124914.0

It's lovely as it says that no matter how long you can feed your LO for you are giving them great benefits! It;s never a wasted effort!

[Fiver]

Kelly, the UK support numbers are towards the bottom of this page http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=63599.msg471605#msg471605

A lot of the groups do email/web support too, but it's probably faster to talk through any issues on the phone.

[clazzat]

I think that it is fantastic that you are so determined to bf, as tbh that is such a huge part of whether you are going to succeed. As pps have said, the key thing is to get decent support. I never considered that I would do anything other than bf my los, but when dd1 was born she was in SCBU so I wasn't able to feed her to start with. I wasn't given any option to express for her and she was ff through a tube for the first few days. When she was brought to me, I said that I wanted to bf and I was told by a mw that I wouldn't be allowed to go home until bf'ing was established - she said that could take a week and what exactly was I going to to about staying in hospital for a week. She offered absolutely no help or advice, and every time it was time to feed dd, she gave her the ff through the tube and then handed her to me to see if dd would feed. When she went off shift and another mw came on, she asked me if I wanted to bf and when I said yes said that it was going to be pretty hard to establish bf'ing if dd was getting her feed through a tube before I tried feeding her every time - which I had thought already but hadn't wanted to say because the first mw had been so unhelpful and unsympathetic. The second mw went straight away to find the doctor and demand that the tube be taken out (I think he put some conditions on her to make sure that dd was going to be okay without it) and then she helped me get dd bf'ing. I was so lucky that she took to it like a pro, but I am sure that the second mw would have helped me through even if it had been more difficult. So what I am saying is don't let people fob you off or pressure you into doing something that you are not happy about - I fed dd1 for 14 months and only stopped because I was pg with dd2 (who I fed for 18/19 months).

One thing, though - I have always found bf'ing to be a bit painful. Not excruciating, but sore for the first 6 months or so and then sore at various times thereafter (it hurts at the moment because ds is teething and his saliva is very acidic which irritates my nipples) and I have to say I wish that someone had told me that it can hurt without there being anything amiss - I do think that there are a lot of mums who give up because it is still sore and they have been led to believe that it won't hurt at all. If it does hurt, then you must get your latch checked, but know that it might just be a bit uncomfortable for you anyway.

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

You guys are making me feel better about the whole situation. Know Dp will support me but I don't think he knows how hard it is going to be, no matter how hard I try and explain, he won't 'get if' until lo is born iykwim?

I'm gonna get him to read this tommorow and hopefully we can get some info together

[~Carly~]

I haven't had a chance to read all the replies, but can you contact a lactation consultant? 

I almost quit with DS1, but had a LC come to the house several times to help me.  It was wonderful.  She helped me latch and relatch, we worked on positions, and discussed any pains I was having.  DS1 has a mild tongue tie, so I really think I wouldn't have bfed him if I didn't have her support.  This time, I lined up the LC even before DS2 was born for the additional support.  TOTALLY worth the money.

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

Carly ds was tounge tied too, I will look into it as I feel like having that IRL help from someone could really help I'm on my phone at the moment but I'm going to check out the links and I'll be back later

Thanks ladies x

[Fiver]

Kelly, if you've had a LO with a tongue tie before, definitely get that checked out by someone who knows what they're doing, preferably before you leave hospital.  Even if a tie looks (and no BF specialist worth their salt should just be using their eyes to diagnose a tongue tie) "mild/small/insignificant" it can cause big problems with BF, but equally a tie that looks "significant" can cause no problems at all.  If it's causing a problem (pain, LO unable to latch/suck properly, poor milk transfer etc) it should be dealt with, but may take a bit of tenacity!

Hopefully it won't be an issue, but they do run in families, so a possibility.

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

If it's causing a problem (pain, LO unable to latch/suck properly, poor milk transfer etc)

This is exactly what happened with DS but they told me it wasnt too bad so shouldnt be affecting my bf! Now, looking back I defo think it played a part.

and no BF specialist worth their salt should just be using their eyes to diagnose a tongue tie

How do they diagnose??

Thanks x

[Fiver]

Best way is to use a finger and feel under the tongue.  If there's what feels like a road hump then there's a tie.  If it's causing pain, it needs dividing - BF really shouldn't hurt past the first couple of weeks.

[weaver]

Kelly, just coming back to you cos I mentioned the La Leche League book.  I need to add a comment or two.  It's a great book, very very positive about breastfeeding and I think brilliant on the first two weeks and health aspects.

BUT they are single-minded about promoting BFing over anything else so they have pretty harsh words to say about things like routines, using a soother/dummy/paci and swaddling.  All things which I personally think are brilliantly helpful to babies and mamas alike - otherwise I wouldn't be on BW, would I!  Just in case you are planning on reading it, you might like to be warned.  I think they go overboard, personally, as I BF my LO for 18 months with a routine, soother and a swaddle, and I know lots of other BF BWer mothers have done likewise.  

[clazzat]

Agree with Anne - LLL is fantastic but they are pretty fanatical and can put off mothers who are keen but don't want to go overboard. I have successfully fed all 3 of mine on a schedule, so it can definitely be done.

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

Thanks ladies - will look it out. I think I can pick out the important info without being too put off by the pushiness! Will let you know

I have yet to get DP to read the thread, must do that this weekend. I think it will be good for him to hear some other points of view etc

[Me.and.my.two.boys]

Hi ladies - I know I still have 7 weeks to go but wanted to let you know how I am. DP and I have been to our ante natal classes and the MW who held the bf support class was great I felt she prepared us for the truth and not sugar coating it all. Probably in a few weeks I am going to go along to my local bf support class and say hello, I will also get a chance to meet the lactation consultant who runs it

I am always open to advice and info if anyone has anything they think will help?