Hun, i think the thoughts can be a tricky thing. I once said to a nurse that with all the screaming and waking everry hour when my 2 months DD was wriggling as well as I went to nappy change her, i truly wanted to smalsh her. So the nurse said I may have had attachment issues and referred to a GP. GP said I needed to get some sleep, plain and simple. Nonmeds, no anything just get sleep, baby in a separate room, monitor and that is it. I can't say I did that, as I only did it for 1 week, before Health visitor told me that babies are advised to sleep in the same room. However the point is sleep deprivation is probably the root cause of those thoughts, not necessarily other things. So night or day, family or friends need to muck in.
Another thing is the whole BW thing. It is most important to keep all safe, rather than anything else. So if it means Crying out, so be it. Some babies are more sensitive, like my DD, so that falling asleep and staying asleep is hard. They have separation anxiety, need to be held, are too wired, clingy, etc. When tired the day will get bad as well.plus all that energy rubs off and feeds the cycle. With right support for you and in turn right support for your children, this boy can blossommand become settled and content. This will pass, but right now you need physical help from people you know.
As you described your day he seemed OT, hence such short naps, but like you say it was a long day for both of you. Is there any accidental parenting you can do? Like babywearing?
Also, here in UK, if I felt like this and all the health services were not reallybreferring me, I would take my child to A&E. I woud say, look he is in pain, I don't know from what, he is like this all the time, I am going mad, please help. I know it is a long shot. Or I would try and get private care, but here in UK it is not a great option, NHS being better IMO.
Praying for you!
