The question I keep coming back to is what do I do when I put LO in her crib awake but drowsy and she cries the first night we try this and beyond? So LO is crying in her crib just after we lay her down, how do we handle this? Can we pick her up? Do we keep her in the crib the whole time but stay with her for the duration of the night? This is where I am so confused. We know we have to put her in her crib drowsy but we don't know how to correctly soothe her so she learns for herself to self-settle. What if she cries the entire time she is in her crib that first night? One night my DH stayed in her room with her in her crib. She was crying loudly so he would look up, check on her, lay her back down and repeat. This went on for 1.5hrs and she wasn't happy. He didn't pick her up tho. Was this the right thing to do and should we have continued b/c we gave up thinking there was no way she was getting tired. She seemed to just be getting more upset.
This sounds about right to me. The first few times it might take a long time. We were lucky and the longest DD cried for was 45 mins at BT one evening but the amount of time that it took did decrease and so did the amount of crying iykwim? For some people when sleep-training they keep a record of how long it took for their LO to fall asleep so that they can see the progress they are making (time decreasing, less comforting etc).
I'm pretty sure that the PD method as Tracey outlines for bubs your DD's age would be to PD and not PU. You can try to PU but that just made my DD so much worse when we put her back down again because I'm sure she was thinking, oh mum is picking me up to rock/cuddle me to sleep and then was being put down again. I think the age that your DD is you would be doing PD only if she gets up and is crying, lie her back down and say your sleepy phrase (For us it was " Shhh, it's sleepy-time C"). You will need to stay in the room with her until she is asleep initially because this is all so unfamiliar to her.
I know that you are worried you will have no way of comforting your DD and that will be difficult for you. This process is not easy but once you start you won't regret it. Of course anything that you do to try and comfort your DD will not be as readily accepted as the breast or being held because that is familiar and your DD will be upset/angry but I am sure that you will find something that comforts her (just placing your hand on her, stroking her back/forehead/hair, singing). When we started sleep training, DD at that point didn't have a lovey so we did it without and introduced the lovey a few months later.
So WRT a plan, it's usually better to start sleep training from the first nap of the day because then it gives your LO a chance to get the hang of things by the evening. Usually for naps you would try to get her to settle for 45mins (you could do less) and then if she hasn't gone to sleep, get her up for a wee time and then try again a while later. For BT and any NWs that you do not intend to nurse you would stick with the process until your DD goes to sleep. If you give in after an hour you are just teaching your LO to hold out longer and that you will eventually give in and also your LO will have gone through all of that upset for nothing. I know this is the hard part and for me it is why I kept putting off the sleep training because I wasn't sure that I was ready for it and I knew once I started I couldn't turn back. I will ask some other people for their opinion with regards to feeding at night for you.
Is there anything else you need to know? Please don't be afraid to ask very direct questions so that we can answer them and prepare you as best we can. No question is a silly question iykwim?
