3 Year Old Refusing Nap, OT, EWs, NWings

[Kay Dee]

Hiya, sorry you're having a tough time. You must be wrecked with a 1 month old!

Just wondering if the door thing will turn into a game if you're closing it every time she sits up. I do think it's a great idea to close the door but maybe better to do it only if she gets out of bed? She'll stop sitting up soon enough once she realises it's not getting her anything.

Another idea is to cap the nap on the days she does take it. If a 1hr nap is causing so much bedtime resistance then you could try waking her after 30-45mins. It will help her OT but hopefully not eat into her nights too much. If she is very low sleep needs then 1hr is probably too much for her.

x

[Tao]

Hi there! Thank you for the ideas. I agree the constant closing and opening is way too stimulating. Tonight I will only close if she is out of bed as that gets her back into bed quickly. We sit outside her room when we do this. Do u think that will create a habit for her? I think this is a form of GW. Plus it was too stimulating when we would leave she would run after us as we would put her back into bed. I am hoping this is a phase and she will only need us when she gas a hard time going down.

Yes I am very exhausted. The thing is she was such an amazing sleeper before dd2 arrived so I know the change us affecting her. Plus I think she is staring to drop the nap. She has always been in low sleep needs side. She really only napped for an hour at most even before starting to drop. I am hoping that she gets the hint soon!

I think I am sane because of all of u helping me to get through it and giving me hope. I don't mind doing the work as long as I have a plan if action... It's the not knowing if there will be an end that is overwhelming when u r tired thanks !!

[Khalam's Mama]

For sure I would leave her to it if she is just sitting up. Only if she gets up and comes out I would intervene. Tbh if she gets out but doesn't come out I used to leave him. I sometimes found him asleep by the door on the floor.

[Tao]

Last night was another difficult night. She had woken at 530 am and had a no nap day so I put her down for bed by 615 and the refusal started. I thought she would be tired and wouldn't fight it but I was wrong. After I kissed her and left room she asked for another hug and song beyond what I allow so I told her I will leave door open if she lays down. She did for a short while and proceeded to come out of bed so I closed the door until she lay back in bed. This went on and on but I didnt engage her when she was just sitting up in bed. After a while when I closed door she would say open and after the door was open after she crawled back into bed she started saying close close door but I ignored her. I think she kept saying that to engage me. It still took from 630 to 8 pm before she went down finally!

Again she was OT and woke three times and came into our room. Each time she went back to bed after I cuddled her a bit and lay her back down but she would only asleep for an hour or two before she woke again.

Do you guys think she will eventually get it?

[Khalam's Mama]

I think the door is too much if a game if you are opening and closing it. If she gets out 1x I would shut it and that is it for the night it stays closed. I used to sell it that he would wake us and baby rather than a punishment. I still think she is already ot and would get her in bed even earlier. Maybe start wd at 5pm and do lots of stories and quiet songs with cuddles in the dim light so she is getting sleepy by the time you leave.

[Tao]

Ok sounds good. I will not reopen tonight. So if she runs out just close the door again and tell her to go back in? Should we stay outside the door and talk to her to go to sleep? Should we stay outside at all? I'm thinking we may need to as she will run out.
She is actually napping right now because she is so tired from last night. I think she will take an hour nap and wake by 130. If so should I do regular 730 bedtime or still try early BT? Thx!

[Khalam's Mama]

I would do 7pm maybe.
I would leave and go downstairs like you normally would. If she comes up I would go back up and put her back on the bed and say your sleepy phrase and then leave. I wouldn't ask her to go back in as too much communication will encourage her.I wouldnt wait outside as she will come look for you I imagine.

[Tao]

The thing that is tough is the last time we had BT refusal a month ago we put her back in bed and everytime it became a game. Every time we walked out of the room after putting her in bed she would run after us immediately. Then when we put her into bed she would giggle or run out after us, raise her hands and say put me back in bed... So it's like it became too stimulating for her. She is so spirited and strong willed that things seem to become a game for her so easily which is y we were holding the door so she would actually go back into bed. I'm not sure how to find a good solution at this pt. I love that u r so patient with me as I try to figure this out. It means a lot that u have stuck with my thread...

[Khalam's Mama]

We had that too as k is also very spirited. Would you consider a gate at her door so you could just leave her in the room until she sleeps?the other thing is I think she is getting too ot and the adrenaline is making her hyperexcitable. Can you do bt any earlier?
Did you say being in the room with her was too distracting? Sometimes when k is ot and bouncing off the walls I stay with him a while under the agreement that if he lays still and eyes closed o stay but if I am distracting him so he can't sleep I would leave. And one chance only no games.

[Tao]

Hi there! Good news! For the past two nights she went down without a fight! Well wed night she still stood up but we cracked the door and said the door is open lay down and sleep and she fussed a bit but then slept!

Last night BT was a bit late because we came back from the zoo for her bday but after my normal routine she didn't stand back up! I didn't even have to reopen the door . I think she is finally getting the pt. Also she has been napping with apop for an hour and I am just making BT a bit later though it is obvious she is still OT from short nights. Despite 730 or 8 pm BT she is still up at 5. It's crazy. It doesn't matter what time I put her down she will still wake at 5.

I want to put her down early tonight but his entire family is coming into town for get bday and they always get upset when I put her to bed before they arrive. Sigh I'm realizing that sometimes we just have to put our kids first and not worry about what they think.

Hugs!!

[Khalam's Mama]

Gd news. I just say she will be in bed at that time of anyone suggests coming over after bt. It is like you telling them you are coming to see them at midnight and them being expected to stay up for you.

[Tao]

Sigh we r back to the same ole thing. We had 4 good days of her sleeping without a fight and yesterday she napped quite late- I should have capped it but grandma napped with her. So I did the same routine of door closed unless you lay down. That continued from 730 until 930 when she finally went down. Of course that came with nwing at 330 am because she was ot by that pt! It's crazy how regardless of BT she will always wake at 5 am!!! I put her back down from nwing and she was up by 530 so she had an 8 hr night! I gave her an early nap today at 1130 and just let her sleep to catch up with ot from night before. She woke just a bit before 1 pm and I am trying 7 pm BT which I thought was late enough but here we go again! Fortunately I only had to do 1 door close and she is laying down but she keeps sitting up and checking to see if I am still outside the cracked door.


I wonder y she needs me there so much. In the past I always just put her down and she was fine with my leaving. Not sure what the fear or refusal is from. Next week husband is out of town and I am dreading it. I can't sit outside her door until she sleeps with a one month old. Luckily dd2 is sleeping now otherwise I feel trapped here. I feel like this method works but then we regress. Is it normal for the regression to happen ? Maybe I should just not expect her to nap tomorrow. Its frustrating because with nap is BT refusal, without nap is ot and nwings and ewings. I haven't found a happy medium...

[Kay Dee]

Hiya, for us the happy medium was a catnap. Have you tried that? Even just 20-30mins can keep OT at bay but not eat into the night sleep too much.

What time was her nap yesterday? It really does sound like its UT at bedtime from the late nap