1-0 naps don't really know what to do for the best. Long

[dijjibob]

My LO is 3 in June and I have been capping her nap since she turned 2, it has worked quite well just capping by 15 minutes if bedtime got later that 8 or earlier than 7. We are now down to 30 minutes with odd no nap days but does quiet time in her room for an hour. No nap days she does get very tired at tea time but with 7 pm bedtime throws a 12 or 13 hour night great.
My problem are more the nap days I think I get nws and early mornings but not always, she chooses if she naps but I have to wake her every time. Then of course I can't go out in pm at all as she will fall straight to sleep in car or buggy. I work so she will drop on school run at choldminders or on Tuesday she goes to grandmas an hour away so if no nap will fall asleep on way there. The other day she fell asleep at 3.10 in car but woke when I stopped the car at 25 minutes, we had to go out that day. I can't head out before 3 as DD2 sleeps intil 3. That night bedtime was the same as usual and she settled easily but nw and slight early morning. So yesterday she was so tired asked for a nap at grandmas at 1. She fell asleep with us all there on sofa I woke her at usual 30 minutes but she Neally fell asleep on way home at 4. I decided early bedtime as so tired and got a 6am wake.
Sorry this is too long, do you think I should cap shorter than 30 minutes or has anyone let them have longer naps but does this mean later bedtime and shorter nights.
I wish I could drop nap it's much better on those days but with work situation I can't enforce it every day.
A friend of mine let's her daughter sleep as long as she likes on nap days and then some days she just doesn't need a nap but what happens with bedtime then, even a 30 minute nap means 8pm bedtime.

[<Catherine>]

I think we're possibly at a similar stage with this dreaded 1-0. We had a car trip to make at around 3.30pm on Saturday where DS fell asleep - totally the wrong time. We then had BT refusal, a late night, followed by OT NW's and an EW. I'm finding he needs a nap once, maybe twice, a week at the moment just to keep OT at bay, and even then I have to do a car trip if I'm going to have any luck in getting one!

The only way I know if DS needs a nap is if he's giving OT signs such as EWing, or if his behaviour is completely off. If he naps and a good night follows then I stick with no naps (and early BT's) until I see OT creeping back in.

It's very difficult. Can you keep her awake when you don't want her to sleep (in the car or buggy) with snacks or something?

I dont *think* that capping the nap any further will do you any favours tbh.

[dijjibob]

Hi
Thank you for reply. It's a tough time I think this 1-0. I have decided as you said not to cap nap more as I just think that will make her even more tired.
We have taken three days after a late nap on Friday to get back to good nights and 7 am wake up. She has has ews after early bedtimes.
Last night was 8pm asleep and 7 am wake up
Of course quiet time today she doesn't need a nap but will definetly fall asleep on way to grandmas this afternoon, I try and keep her awake in the car but nothing works. At childminders she is always asleep in pram too what ever the cm try's to do.
When you say your LO has a nap sometimes how long do you let her nap, do you wake LO up or let them nap as long as they like. What happens at bedtime then.

Thank you

[<Catherine>]

When you say your LO has a nap sometimes how long do you let her nap, do you wake LO up or let them nap as long as they like.

He will only ever nap in the car now, and tends to only have around an hour - sometimes he needs more, sometimes he needs less (I think if he was napping in bed at home he's have much longer). I don't tend to wake him (unless it's getting late and he's sleeping longer than, say, 1.5 - 2 hrs) as he is so badly effected by OT that he needs a semi-decent nap to catch up. It does effect BT though, and his night will usually be shorter because he still wakes at the same time, but that is better for us than him being OT and having night terrors. I stick with early BTs rather than naps, unless he's clearly OT and we start getting the bad nights.

I've found this stage very hard, they are so difficult to read. Last night DS fell asleep as soon as I put him into bed at 6.15pm, and we didn't hear a thing from him until 8am this morning!! We've never had a night like that! I obviously got his BT window just right, but that was more luck than judgement!

[dijjibob]

Hi, sorry no reply for a week or so, both girls had chicken pix so any sleep pattern went out the window but thankfully all better. In a way I think it has helped out though. While I'll nights we're all over the place and naps were as long as she wanted. I panicked every night that the long naps were going to make the nights short. Eventually after she got better the childminder who doesn't really like waking my LO up told me to just let her sleep and she would be fine, mmmm I thought I'll try, 1.15 natural nap one day and bedtime became 8.30 with a two hour night wake.
We are back to 30 min day nap if she wants it with 7.45 bedtime.
No nap day means no going in the car in pm and 7pm bedtime.
She has been sleeping in until 7.30 or even 8 I know this will all fall apart soon and I'll be back for more advice.
I think keeping a constant short nap each day and an earlier bedtime seems to have solved our previous problems for a while, i was putting her to bed too late.
There seems to be do many of us in the same boat at the moment and so many different things seem to work for different LO s, don't we wish they were all the same.

[<Catherine>]

There seems to be do many of us in the same boat at the moment and so many different things seem to work for different LO s, don't we wish they were all the same.

I know. They like to make things difficult for us don't they?!

[dijjibob]

And I spoke to soon with nw and slightly early wake this morning. I tried putting her down literally 10 minutes early last night as I have work tomorow and she won't be able to sleep in. Hope all had a good night