Ok, so DS is 18mo and I feel like I've spent the vast majority of his life stressing about his sleep and feeding... Yes, I'm still stressing about those things, but also feeling guilty that I probably haven't been 'doing' enough stuff with him? I mean, properly engaging with him for his learning, for fun, whatever. I've been working 3 days a week since he was 12mo and tbh, the stereotypical feelings of guilt about returning to work were soon replaced with a sense of relief that at least he would be getting some decent learning and social experiences with his childminder, as I didn't think I was doing a very good job with that! I know we all have housework and errands etc to do and we all surely find that much of that has to be done when our LOs are awake, but I really don't know if I'm spending 'enough' quality time with him, whatever that means?
I've always found he does best when we go out, which usually means to a park, or a toddler group, or an inside play area. So I guess he does get lots of opportunity for physical play, I'm not really worried about that. And he does go to lots of groups with his childminder and spends time with other toddlers when he's with me, so I'm not really worried about social opportunities either. But I don't feel like I'm relating to him properly during those times, he'll run off and do what he wants to do and I leave him to it, offering help where needed. It's those times when we're by ourselves, with or without DH, at home, when we just end up doing the same old things - reading the same old books (if he actually stays still enough!), playing with the same old toys (now much more independently rather than interactively), and trying to prevent meltdowns when I have to do something separate from him (e.g. draining boiling water off saucepans - our kitchen's v small so he's not allowed in unless we're holding him, not always possible). He does often seem bored when I'm doing chores, which tbh I don't do enough of anyway, and he 'helps' me wherever possible. And once everything essential is done, and we're back from our trips out (we pretty much have to go out in the morning and afternoon, otherwise he gets 'cabin fever'!), there just doesn't seem to be much time left for intentional, interactive play. I read about and see all these other mums who seem to manage to do so much with their LOs, and really feel something is lacking here... But tbh I just don't feel I have the energy to prepare elaborate activities, I barely seem to have the energy to keep up with myself and right now, DS is asleep, DH is out, the flat is a complete mess and I just don't care!
So... I guess what I'm rather lazily asking for are some good tips for low-prep, low-energy (for me!), low-time, interactive play. And I guess things that can be done even when I have to do other things. Especially in the areas of imaginative play and activities that aid speech and cognitive development - he's not yet talking and does get frustrated when 'da' and pointing doesn't entirely convey the meaning he wants it to! Maybe I just need to pull myself together and find some energy from somewhere, but I seem to have little emotional energy left after all my stressing over his sleep in particular, at the moment. Which makes me think I've just missed the point entirely - surely the purpose of getting the basics like sleeping and eating is so that the A time can be more fruitful?!