Author Topic: have I just missed the point?  (Read 1831 times)

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Offline trimbler

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have I just missed the point?
« on: April 20, 2012, 20:48:37 pm »
Ok, so DS is 18mo and I feel like I've spent the vast majority of his life stressing about his sleep and feeding... Yes, I'm still stressing about those things, but also feeling guilty that I probably haven't been 'doing' enough stuff with him? I mean, properly engaging with him for his learning, for fun, whatever. I've been working 3 days a week since he was 12mo and tbh, the stereotypical feelings of guilt about returning to work were soon replaced with a sense of relief that at least he would be getting some decent learning and social experiences with his childminder, as I didn't think I was doing a very good job with that! I know we all have housework and errands etc to do and we all surely find that much of that has to be done when our LOs are awake, but I really don't know if I'm spending 'enough' quality time with him, whatever that means?

I've always found he does best when we go out, which usually means to a park, or a toddler group, or an inside play area. So I guess he does get lots of opportunity for physical play, I'm not really worried about that. And he does go to lots of groups with his childminder and spends time with other toddlers when he's with me, so I'm not really worried about social opportunities either. But I don't feel like I'm relating to him properly during those times, he'll run off and do what he wants to do and I leave him to it, offering help where needed. It's those times when we're by ourselves, with or without DH, at home, when we just end up doing the same old things - reading the same old books (if he actually stays still enough!), playing with the same old toys (now much more independently rather than interactively), and trying to prevent meltdowns when I have to do something separate from him (e.g. draining boiling water off saucepans - our kitchen's v small so he's not allowed in unless we're holding him, not always possible). He does often seem bored when I'm doing chores, which tbh I don't do enough of anyway, and he 'helps' me wherever possible. And once everything essential is done, and we're back from our trips out (we pretty much have to go out in the morning and afternoon, otherwise he gets 'cabin fever'!), there just doesn't seem to be much time left for intentional, interactive play. I read about and see all these other mums who seem to manage to do so much with their LOs, and really feel something is lacking here... But tbh I just don't feel I have the energy to prepare elaborate activities, I barely seem to have the energy to keep up with myself and right now, DS is asleep, DH is out, the flat is a complete mess and I just don't care!

So... I guess what I'm rather lazily asking for are some good tips for low-prep, low-energy (for me!), low-time, interactive play. And I guess things that can be done even when I have to do other things. Especially in the areas of imaginative play and activities that aid speech and cognitive development - he's not yet talking and does get frustrated when 'da' and pointing doesn't entirely convey the meaning he wants it to! Maybe I just need to pull myself together and find some energy from somewhere, but I seem to have little emotional energy left after all my stressing over his sleep in particular, at the moment. Which makes me think I've just missed the point entirely - surely the purpose of getting the basics like sleeping and eating is so that the A time can be more fruitful?!



Offline rach321

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Re: have I just missed the point?
« Reply #1 on: April 20, 2012, 20:54:41 pm »
We do lots of cooking and playdoh play.  If he's not talking yet have you thought about teaching him to sign - I'm sure you can get DVD's on it - would be a fun thing for the both of you to do together, its educational and will help him with communication and reduce some frustration. Lots of singing  - not too much effort involved.  TBH I find it easier to have a plan for activities for the week then you kind of know what you are supposed to be doing!

Offline cuckoochick

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Re: have I just missed the point?
« Reply #2 on: April 20, 2012, 21:52:15 pm »
C enjoys playdough too. She also loves drawing and adores stickers, sticky-backed foam shapes to draw. I love activities like this because we sit side by side and have so much fun and we get to use loads of nice vocabulary that she loves to imitate.

I echo the singing too.




*Nicola*

Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: have I just missed the point?
« Reply #3 on: April 20, 2012, 22:28:04 pm »
We've done signing too, and it's really helped  :)

Like you I work 3 days a week and DS goes to the childminder. He does toddler groups and craft activities with her, so I don't do them at home! Instead we do lots of interactive stuff with books, like shapes, counting, and colours, play lots of peek-a-boo, look at things in the garden, throw or roll a ball to each other, build towers with blocks or cups, and just generally talk about what we're doing or what we can see.

He also enjoys playing chase around the house, climbing on and off the sofa and throwing his soft toys down for me to throw back at him (which is hilarious apparently), and getting gently pushed over on the sofa then pushing me over "Mama splat"  ;D

So we don't do anything elaborate here either, and DS seems to be doing fine!

*Hugs* and don't worry about the housework  ;)