Big boy bed transition

[DaniLuka]

I don't see this specific question in the FAQ section.

We are transitioning our 18 month old because the new baby will need the crib in a few months. He is a laid back little guy, so I thought the transition would be easy.

I removed the front rail of the convertible crib and put up the safety rail. The room is baby proofed with a gate on the door. It's been 2 nights, and both times he has gone down fine, but awoken at 11pm (come to the gate, we put him back in bed and he goes to sleep) and 4am. The 4am waking is the problem. Both nights he came to the gate and called us. Dh put him in his bed, and he continues to get out. Sometimes he would stay in for 10 min then get out and come to the gate again. Night 1 we just kept putting him back in and telling him to go to sleep. Night 2 we realized we shouldn't be responding so quickly and let him stand at the gate. We put him in his bed, and when he got out we just let him stand at the gate. He did not cry, but he was up 1.5 hours at which time he fell asleep on the floor.

I want to teach him to stay in his bed, but what do I do when he is just awake in his room in the middle of the night. Should I be leaving him be as long as he's not crying (even if he's not in his bed)? Also, what do I do if he is crying at the gate? I'm not sure how this works.

[*Becky*]

I have to be honest and say that 18 months IMO is pretty young to be making the transition. Will you need the crib for the baby straight away? Even another 6 months would help.

Could I see his routine to check for UT or OT.

Is he teething at all?

Prior to this was he STTN?

[DaniLuka]

He was falling asleep independently & sttn since about 8 months old before this. No teething or other issues currently. I don't need the crib until about 3 months from now, but I didn't want him to have to 'give it to the baby'. I agree he's young, but he's an angel baby & very laid back.

Before a few days ago he was up for the day at 7:30am, nap at 1pm-3pm, sleep by 8:30pm. Sttn.

Last night (night 3) was a bit better, although he wouldn't stay in bed at bedtime & fell asleep on the floor around 9pm (no crying though).  I put him in his bed & he slept well until 1am, when he awoke and came to the gate. He babbled there for 10min until Dh put him in bed and sat in his room for 10 min while he fell asleep. He slept until 6:20am at which time we just got up for the day.

I'm thinking of giving this up before it screws up his sleep, but maybe 1 more night just to see how it goes.

[Tweakster]

I'm wondering if gradual withdrawal might help here...I agree he's pretty young, but I have known others who have done it successfully early.  But it's prime SA time and teething so a gentler approach can be warranted.

[DaniLuka]

Thank you both for your replies, but I'll be honest and say that it's not all that helpful to tell me I shouldn't be transitioning him at this age. I realize it's a challenge,weren't hasn't been crying and we're 3 nights into it now so I feel like I need to have at least given it a good try before we quit.

So, for the sake of argument, can we pretend that he's a few months older and could someone please answer my original questions? Thank you in advance.

[Tweakster]

I'm not sure anyone told you not to make the transition?

When I suggested GW it was so that you could make the transition easier.  I also indicated that several people I know made it work early, I get that people need to make it work early for whatever reason. 

Here's what Tracy had to say about it, and she did say to give the transition 3 mths:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=81192.0


GW is explained more here:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

So you would stay with him, much like your DH did, to get him more comfy with his new bed.

[DaniLuka]

Thank you. We have essentially been doing the WI/WO method and i think it is appropriate because he doesn't actually cry or get very upset at all, he's just standing at the gate calling us or saying 'go', or just standing quietly

But that's where I'm confused with WI/WO. Should I be walking in to put him back in his bed when he's not crying or upset? Or can I just accept the fact that he may fall asleep on the floor then move him to his bed with the hopes that he'll get used to staying there?

[Tweakster]

If it were me, I would walk him back to his bed.  Say your key phrase 'it's sleepy time' or whatever and tuck him back in.  Lather rinse repeat.  He's just confused and adjusting.  But if he can and does sleep on the floor, you can move him after he's asleep or just leave him there, cover him with a blanket  

Some ladies I know have actually put the mattress on the floor instead of using the gate/rail thing because their kid was more comfy that way.  It's an option too if you are finding this isn't working.

To be honest, the not crying and stuff makes me wonder if he's a bit UT...do you get the sense that he's just not tired enough to go to or stay in bed?  Usually when kids are seriously tired or OT they cry...but then again he's an Angel so who knows.  Being up for 1.5 hrs in the night, even with a new bed, doesn't seem to jive with me.

You might think about the routine at this point, it could be coincidental and the bed isn't actually the issue  

[rach321]

I've put both my boys in big beds at 18 months old, well DS2 was a fraction under but close enough.  DS1 was pretty easy and was no problem at all.  DS2 has been a bit more of a challenge simply because my boys share a room now and encourage each other to get out of bed!! If they are out of bed but happy then I don't go in to them  - if one of them is upset then I go in, put each one back in bed and leave the room again.  They know they are not supposed to leave the room ( we don;t have a gate up) but we are just coming out the other side of a lot of bedtime antics and all we've done is keep putting them back in their room - no words, no conversation just action.  Its taken about 10 days - tonight was the best, I only had to go back in once.  But if he's not upset and falling asleep on the floor, I would just cover him over with a blanket so he doesn't get cold and leave him there.  DS 1 went through a stage of sleeping under his bed! It's only day 3 and it's a massive transition  - I would keep doing what you're doing and give it at least 2 weeks.  Just beware of OT creeping in and have a check on your EASY just to make sure there's nothing a bit off there, like PP says.

[DaniLuka]

Thanks rach. That makes me feel a bit better to know that someone else here has done it. I guess I was expecting too much too soon. It sounds like he is doing fine.

His EASY is basically 5.5 hours A, 2 hours S then 5.5 hours A, 11 hours nighttime sleep. He's been on this EASY for a few months now. I think its pretty normal for 18 months, am I correct? I always have to wake him from naps & he is tired at bedtime. It's that 4am+ period that seems to be a problem. If he wakes he's just not tired enough to go back to sleep easily. He's been shortening his naps to about 1-1.5 hours in the big boy bed anyway, so I guess we'll see how that goes.

Maybe I'll repost this in the EASY forum and see what they say. Thanks for your help.

[*Becky*]

I think you probably need to try capping the nap to 1.5 hours max and see if it helps. If he is a little UT that should help the 4am wakings.
Were you having these wakings before the move to the BBB?
If not I would think it 'may' be a case that he is in a lighter sleep then and he is more aware of the change in his bed and so is causing some issues for him and preventing him just dropping off again.
If this was going on before the bed change it sounds more routine related.
What do you think?