PLEASE HELP 20 mo screaming at bedtime, wont go in cot

[*foxy*]

Hi Vicki, thank you for your post. Thats really interesting and great to know Im not alone in this! Her change in behaviour is so disheartening! We've had lots of problems with SA before, its so hard to deal with! Her speech is progressing at an alarming speed, she's like a little parrot! I don't know if this is considered Wonder Week Behaviour?

We're away at my parents for the weekend. She was up at 5.50am and only had an hours nap 12.30-1.30pm in the car. She's been on the go all afternoon, trampolining, paddling pool and making dens etc. BT wasn't actually too bad, I was expecting a lot worse! I stayed with her until she was asleep but just sat on the floor next to the door. She's been so bad lately that I didn't even try walking out before she was asleep. There was no screaming tonight which was lovely and generally seemed a lot more settled although I knew I couldn't walk out until she was asleep.

[Truly Blessed]

Her speech is progressing at an alarming speed, she's like a little parrot!

You will see if you have time to read my thread that Sam was the same.

She's been so bad lately that I didn't even try walking out before she was asleep.

No I didn't either, it just delays sleep when they're feeling so sad.

There was no screaming tonight which was lovely and generally seemed a lot more settled although I knew I couldn't walk out until she was asleep.

I'll wager this was helped along by all the physical exercise.

I remember how draining this is Sweetie. Hang in there, it isn't forever even though it feels like it. I think at the end of the day we feel so desperate to be ourselves that the extra few minutes spent waiting for them to go to sleep is so hard to deal with.

x.

[*foxy*]

Absolutely, by 8pm I just want to sit down in peace! I get so frustrated and so bored! I'm trapped in her room for up to an hour sometimes, it's so hard to stay calm when she just messes around and then cries when I leave.

A nap from 12.30-1.30 seemed to work well so I might try that for a few days. Mind you, she's so unpredictable that it might work one day and be a complete disaster the next!

[cath~]

Hugs foxy - I know how frustrating and infuriating it is to have to sit with an LO while they just mess around and fidget instead of falling asleep!

When I was doing GW with L, some one suggested telling her I was going to leave the room for a minute to do xyz and then return, and gradually increase the amount of time away from her.  At the time, I tried it and it didn't work, she didn't want me to leave for a second so I didn't push it. But I have used that tactic a couple of times recently when L has EW and hasn't wanted me to leave and had more success (ie I've been able to leave her w/o her screaming). She's also 'let' me leave if I offer to leave her door open a bit.
 
Perhaps this is something you could try at BT? If she cries straightaway then you could go back straight away or after only 10 seconds or so. But if you do it for a few evenings, perhaps she will learn that you DO come back when you say you will, and not be upset if you go. Of course, you'll still have to go back but you could gradually increase the time you are away and it might get her used to not having you around the whole time she's settling.  Leaving L's door open a bit (when I leave) also helps if she's upset - she's usually happy to let me go then. Just a thought.

[*foxy*]

Thanks cathn. It is so frustrating! I'll give that a go because she doesn't need contact anymore just our presence in the room. I'm doing a one hour nap for a few days to see if that helps, I think shes UT at BT.

[cath~]

Hopefully the shorter nap will help her settle quicker too.  It does sound like she might be a bit UT at BT..

Last Friday L did loads of exercise all afternoon and that really helped speed up BT too.  I think physical tiredness made her want to sleep for once!  I am trying to get L to do as much exercise as possible at the moment (although of course the weather isn't helping!).

[*foxy*]

Totally agree!! We were at my parents at the weekend and she didn't stop and BT was so much better than usual! Like you said she actually seemed ready for bed! Trying to go out this afternoon to wear her out!

[Truly Blessed]

Something to add ladies is that, when you leave and say you're going to do xyz and will be back, it maybe an idea not to try and be quiet like you probably do. My friend IRL and I found both our DS will settle better now (since your LO age) if they can hear you moving around. It's re-assuring I guess.

(HUGS)

Vicki.x.

[*foxy*]

Thanks Vicki, that was the case with M when she was settling on her own, she liked the door slightly open and to hear me moving around.

I did an hours nap from 12.35-1.35 (WU was about 6.15am) and we had an active afternoon. DP put her down tonight as I was out. She actually told him she was tired and asked for stories (unheard of) but she didn't listen to stories and went mental when he tried to put her in her cot. It's taken at least an hour for her to go to sleep and he said she cried and cried and cried. The plan backfired today I still think a 1 hour nap is right. Does she just need to adjust to it?

I'm going to do another 1 hour nap tomorrow but will try an earlier BT. I think her telling DP she was tired was missing the window and then she's OT and can't settle? Could that be it?

[clairebear79]

(((hugs))) hun.  What time was BT?  Maybe she was a wee bit OT?  I think if she is doing over 6hrs A before her 1hr nap she probably needed to be asleep at around 5hrs or 5.5hrs absolute max so 6.30/7pm.  Also perhaps she was a bit unsettled b/c you were out?

[*foxy*]

She was finally asleep by 8.20pm! DP put her in her cot at 7.10pm which looking back (good old retrospection) was too late. And yes me not being there probably didn't help but I was desperate for a swim for a bit of stress release! So hopefully WU won't be too early. I think I'll still do a nap for 1 hour (unless she's struggling) but maybe a bit later and we'll bring BT forward. I'll do BT tomorrow night too.

[*foxy*]

WU was 6.35am this morning so better than I thought it would be! Her grandparents are going to do an hour nap and I'll sort out BT - what ever that may be!

[Truly Blessed]

Good Luck Hun, I agree with you and Claire that yes she probably went past her sleepy window. I think trying EBT is a good idea. At least you have a better chance of a good settling time even if she doesn't settle straight away IYKWIM 

X.

[*foxy*]

She had a nap 1-2pm. She said she was tired at 6.45pm so I took her into her room and read her a couple of stories. She was in her cot at 7pm but wasn't asleep until 7.50pm! It's so frustrating!!!!!!
I guess I need her in her cot at 6.45pm?

[Truly Blessed]

I guess I need her in her cot at 6.45pm?

Yes maybe Hun, I would try for 4.75 A time PD tomorrow if she has an hour nap. Is there still SA going on  Are you staying with her while she settles atm 

Vicki.x.