PLEASE HELP 20 mo screaming at bedtime, wont go in cot

[cath~]

That's good news your DP put her down fine once you'd left.  Hope she feels better from the cough and the teething soon.  L is also suffering from teething at the moment, so lots of WIWO at BT and naptime   She's dribbling like Niagara falls though so it's def teeth.

[*foxy*]

Oh poor thing, those pesky teeth are such a pain! I can't wait until they're all through. Hope your LOs' come through quickly too

[*foxy*]

Hi

DD has had all 4 of her 2nd molars coming through all at the same time and she's been poorly with a chesty cough so we've gone off track a bit. She's done really well considering but BT is again a little bit of a struggle and she's been waking earlier. She's been having longer naps of up to 2 hours due to her being very tired with teething and being poorly and the nights have been from about 8pm-6.30am.

She seems to be over the worst of it and yesterday went like this:

WU 5.30am (ugh)
Nap 12.30-1.45 (she slept in the car up to my parents)
BT was 8pm although I put her down at 7pm in the hope that she'd be asleep by 7.15/7.30pm
The night was fine but she cried out 2 or 3 times and I just reassured her with my voice

WU today was 6am and she seems great in herself

I try for a 7.30pm BT, she's in her cot at about 7.10pm but hasn't been going to sleep until 8pm most nights even when she's been poorly. She just messes around and calls out 'mummy where are you' which I ignore unless she gets upset and then I just stand outside her door and tell her that I'm there or I sing to her. She goes quiet for 5-10 mins and then the 'mummy where are you' starts again.

I was going to do a 1 hour 15 min nap today, from 12.45-2pm, does this sound ok? Does it sound like she's UT or maybe a bit OT from that short night?  She seems great this morning

[clairebear79]

Hmmm.  Its hard to say, esp since she slept less last night (10hrs) after the shorter nap than she has been doing with a 2hr nap (10.5hrs).  It looks like OT - but I have a niggling suspicion you are still in an UT/OT loop.  The not settling at BT like that is more likely to be UT, esp if she is playing/faffing as opposed to crying.

I still think her nap is too early, starting at 12.30pm & I think this is contributing to her waking early.  IIWM I would keep nap at 1h 15 but gradually push it over the next week or so to a 1pm start, maybe even 1.15pm.  Then if she is still not settling I would trim to an hour, keeping to 5hrs A max between nap & bedtime.

We are currently doing
Up: ~7am
Nap: 1.15-2.30
Bed: 7.30 but he's falling asleep nearer to 7.45.

So our nights are still only around 11hrs.  I think we are going to have to cap at 1hr very soon too (will probably do this by pushing nap to 1.30-2.30pm keeping end time the same) - its like his A times have suddenly shot up again.

HTH.x

[*foxy*]

Well I think she was sleeping more with the 2 hour nap as she wasn't very well so I'm just trying to get back on track with it really.

The 12.30 nap was only because she had her nap in the car, she doesn't normally fall asleep in the car that quickly, we had barely left home and she was alseep. I'm just glad she did have a nap as there are times when she doesn't nap at all when we're going somewhere.

We usually do her nap at 12.45-2pm when she isn't poorly or teething as we need her to be up at 6.30am.

Her nap today was 12.45-2pm and BT was 7.45pm, she needed my help. I'll try for a nap at 1pm tomorrow and see if that helps BT, she's so good at naptime that I'm thinking I'm just getting it wrong with her being UT or OT when I put her down at BT.

[clairebear79]

Ah I forgot you need her up that bit earlier.  If she's going down well at 12.45pm, what about keeping the nap there but waking her after an hour so at 1.45pm & see if that helps her settle better at bedtime.   

[Kay Dee]

Hiya, sorry she hasn't been feeling well I totally agree with Clare. I think if she's all better now and is still taking a while to settle at bedtime I would chop the nap to 1hr.

x

[*foxy*]

Thanks, I'll try for an hour today. She's also waking earlier 6am rather that 6.30am so only really gettting a 10 hour night which isn't enough. BT last night was better, she was alseep by 7.45 but I'd prefer 7.30pm-6.30am really.

[*foxy*]

Hi

She seemed really tired today, she ended up having an hour and 10 mins as I lost track of time catching up with a friend. She was fast asleep when I woke her up and was grumpy for about an hour. Later on she was really clingy and wouldn't let me out of her sight. BT was horrible, I had to stay with her for an hour and a quarter as she was getting so upset. She eventually went to sleep at 8pm.

I just feel that capping her nap at an hour would leave her completely exhausted and we've gone backwards with GW. She screams in the middle of the night 3 or 4 times, she doesn't need contact just the sound of my voice. But it really scares the c**p out out of me as she properly screams her head off. Is this OT or nightmares do you think?

We just seem to have gone off track and to me she seems tired but we're having BT battles, GW had gone backwards and she's waking early too as well as these screaming outbursts in the middle of the night.

[clairebear79]

Honey you really should try & place some trust in your own instincts - you are her mummy & you know her best.  We are just offering suggestions based on what you write but of course we can't see her behaviour/how tired she is. If you feel she is too tired to cap at 1hr then why not let her sleep for a few days & see if you can get her back on track.xxx

[*foxy*]

Hi Claire

Yes, your right, I know. I'm sorry. I'm a bit rubbish with trusting my own instincts. We're travelling back home tomorrow so hopefully she'll have an ok nap in the car. I'm frustrated too as she was doing so well and we were doing ok for such a short amount of time and then she was poorly and teething and it's sent us all off track AGAIN! 

[clairebear79]

Don't apologise hun - just have a little faith in your own judgements.  I really should take my own advice yk, b/c I am just the same lol!  How about give her a longer nap for a couple more days & then go from there.  If her nights are really short you may have to push through some OT to get her back on track but you should get there.x

[*foxy*]

Hi, thanks Claire

WU was 5.20am (ugh)

[cath~]

Hi foxy,
Sorry to hear you've been having rough time. Hope you can get back on track soon. I'm sure you will.
Ikwym about not trusting instincts tho - I am rubbish at trusting mine. But then, I have been wrong about her being OT when actually she is UT so many times now - it is so hard to tell!!
We're also off track a bit at the moment. Teething and now some SA again too. We are PTing (v close to done) and she saw me holding her NB cousin on the weekend which I think has a lot to do with the SA - she is so sensitive to those kinds of things!
Hope your day goes well despite the EW. We had EW at 5.35am. I have no idea what nap to give her

[Kay Dee]

I'm a bit rubbish with trusting my own instincts. We're travelling back home tomorrow so hopefully she'll have an ok nap in the car. I'm frustrated too as she was doing so well and we were doing ok for such a short amount of time and then she was poorly and teething and it's sent us all off track AGAIN!

It's so hard to trust your instincts, especially when they're out of sorts. Their cues become so difficult to read.

FWIW, when my pair are out of sorts I often find the thing to do is to just stick to the routine as best I can (within reason). Early naps, catch-up naps and things like that just sent us off track more than the teething/illness!