2y10mo currently ill, won't go to sleep alone

[Spandanna]

Hi all

DS will be 3 in June and has slept amazingly for the last 18-20 months. Great 2.5 hour naps and then in bed at 7 until 7 (we use a grow clock which comes on at 7 but mostly he's awake talking/singing quitely between 6 and 7 and often sings for a while before dropping off to sleep at night)

He hasn't napped during his 2 days in daycare for a long while but catches up on his days at home and some weeks there's a day out the 5 at home where he doesn't nap too. So over the last week he has only napped for 2 out of the 7 days and then in the last 24 hours he has had a tummy bug and was waking throughout last night wanting one of us in the room and here is the problem. It feels like this last week is leading us on a path to some sleep issues and want to nip them in the bud right here!! Of course when poorly we were going straight into him all through the night but then we were being held 'hostage' in his room for hours saying "don't go Mummy" "there's something in my room" "stay in here" etc. In the end I stood with my back to him in the doorway (having tried all the reassuring words/happy thoughts/headstroking etc) and then closed the door and sat outside. Still had to do this a few times in the night.

He was so tired he lay in until 9am but still was poorly and ended up having a nap in my bed at 10-11 with me (he has never slept in our bed before and we have once or twice tried to get him to but he gets too excited) Now at bedtime today he was distraught, not wanting to be alone/wanting to sleep in my be/ wantng me to stay/ needing a poo/to be sick (which he did neither of). In the end I stayed in his room in the door way talked him through 'eyes closed deep breaths' and slowly told him I would leave the room and he should do more breaths or singing and that if he cried I wouldn't keep coming in...

Trouble is he's poorly so I know I do need to go to him if he cries but know that whatever we do he will demand from now on at bedtime...

Anybody got some good ideas? Or some effective things to say /do to help him overcome this fear?

Thanks in advance

[*Liz*]

TBH both of my kids have done this - and both have gone right back to sleeping more sensibly as soon as they are better.

Talking about how we all go to sleep in our own beds helps though - before they event. Like where does the dog sleep? In his basket!! Where does Megan sleep? In her cot!! Where does Jacob sleep?? In his bed all by himself!

We have the same after a sleep in my bed due to illness. I cheat here a bit as it is much darker in my room than his, and he hates the dark, so I let him in and then after a few mins ask him if he likes his room better, which he does and then he chooses to go back  .

I think he is likely being clingy because he feels poorly, and I wouldn't worry too much.

[Tweakster]

Agree with Liz...we really let things slide when he's ill.  He just needs us that much more...and will actually let us parent him then lol  Usually he doesn't want us in his room. 

As far as fears go, we're getting lots of fears right now too...he's really scared of a lot of things.  Their brains are really active this age, and the whole real vs. pretend is often hard for them to grasp/figure out. 

[Truly Blessed]

Hey,

I also agree, we've been there done that, here and I APOP'd myself half to death, then when Sam was better I started putting it right which took a week. You will instinctively know when he is 'playing you' rather than 'needing you'  and that's the time to withdraw. I did GW (Sam's younger) and ended up outside the door like you have. At least DS is of the age where you can talk it over with him......hmmm is that a good thing  LOL. Maybe you could get him a new little night light or something to placate him  .

Good Luck! Hope he's better soon.

(X)