8mo with lots of NWs and Occasional EWs - Please, Please help!

[ashleycp]

I've posted elsewhere before, but I'm hoping I can get to the root of the problem here. I'm absolutely desperate. I haven't slept more than 5 hours in almost a year and I work FT so I can't nap. I'm about to lose it. I've read so many stories on here and have tried to follow suggestions but nothing seems to work.

My daughter is 8mo, and she is spirited, I think. Has never slept through the night, not even close. I put her down at 7 and then she is awake every 2 hours after that. I usually nurse her each time. If I try to not nurse, she will freak out and cry for hours. Last night I decided I wouldn't nurse until midnight (4 hours after her last nursing before bed) and she cried for 3 hours straight. Awful. I can't do PU/PD or Shh/Pat because she finds it stimulating and will fight me with all of her strength to turn over or crawl around the bed. Walk In/Walk Out seems risky because I think she has a tiny bit of separation anxiety. So, what do I do?

She has a pretty standard EASY with 4+ hours between bottles and 3 hours 15-30 minutes between naps. Solids for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I put her down at 7, which can be close to 4 hours after her last nap. It usually looks like this (on mornings without EW):

A: 6:00a
E: 7:00a - Nurse
E: 8:00a - Solids (fruit)
S: 9:15a to 10:45
A: 10:45a
E: 11:00a - Bottle
E: 12:00a - solids
S: 2:00 to 3:30
E: 3:30 - Bottle
E: 5:45 - Solids
E: 6:45 - Nurse
S: 7:00 - Bed

I really need help. I can't function at work, my husband and I are fighting because we are so tired, and I almost fell asleep at the wheel on the drive to work this morning. Thank you!!

[katie80]

Hi there, (((hugs))), I'm sorry you're so tired. It really is tough to function during the day when you've been up so much at night.

So, a couple things I notice. I do think that last A time before bed is a bit long. Some babies can handle 4 hr before bed, but that's usually with shorter A times during the day. If you look at her day as a whole, it's 13 hr long with that long last A time. She's likely going to sleep a bit OT at bedtime which will likely make that NF habit harder to drop. I know it's not always possible with work schedules, but is there any way you can get her to sleep by 6:30 pm instead?  Another option would be to add 15 min on to each of the previous A times, hopefully getting the same nice naps, and then the last one naturally gets shorter with the same BT.

Now for the not so fun part. I really think the only way you are going to get rid of the NWs is to not feed at them all. It sounds like she's developed a bit of a feed to sleep prop. The plan you came up with to only feed after 4 hrs is pretty standard advice. If she can go 4 hr during the day, she can go that long at night. Is she taking decent solids? Does she go to sleep independently? You don't need to use PUPD or shh/pat if they are too stimulating for her. WIWO is actually recommended for SA, but I don't think yours is a case for using it as you're trying to break the nursing prop, not SA specifically. Also, she's pretty young to be a candidate for that. So, what can you do? Find something that helps to soothe her and use it. You might just sit on the floor next to her crib and repeat your sleepy phrase, maybe it's a song, maybe rubbing her back or stroking her forehead. It won't be easy and it will take awhile the first few nights, esp since she's spirited, but I do think it's likely what's going to get the best results.

Here are a couple links that may be helpful for you. Take a look and let me know what you think.
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

[becj86]

Hugs, hon. Katie has given you lots of great advice. I just wanted to step in and say it might also be that she is waking to spend special bonding time with you. I know that's guilt-inducing. It shouldn't be - they need the time with their dads too and we had some issues with BT refusal when DS wasn't spending enough quality time with DH before bed because I was driving the 'get him to bed on time so he's not OT' wagon. Once he started doing DS' bath, dressing, etc. - everything bedtime routiney that he could do, it got progressively better and let's face it, he's much better at making bathtime fun than I am.

Spiriteds are pretty tricky to sleep train. GW worked best for DS, but I can't help with specifics on removing BF prop with GW as I haven't done that. I can see if there's someone who has any specific GW of BF prop advice for you if you'd like me to though.