Author Topic: 13 mo. Tummy or teeth? Allergy or intolerance? Pain related refusal or dislike?  (Read 9907 times)

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Offline ~*Nicole*~

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We are still struggling. Not like we were earlier in terms of reflux and pain and diaper rash and poop issues, etc. But overall still having feeding issues. We are confused and not sure what steps to take.

*Are NWs teething pain, tummy pains, both???? Seem to correspond to dairy (but could be other things, too....wheat?) BUT LO is also teething and has been teething pretty much since 9 months of age without much stopping. Gums always appear swollen with little white spots trying to poke through....then teeth follow and other areas become swollen. Seems never ending. But even so, has had periods of sleeping through the night. Cow's milk intro (as per GI) caused constipation and appeared to coincide with a cold....so lots of NWs. Took him off, went to coconut milk....cold went away about the same time (would have likely done so anyway as it was over a week at this point and on it's way out anyway) and NWs went away again. Can't ever seem to figure out which thing is the CAUSE...but always does seem in distress and in some pain/discomfort when wakes. Often looks for a bottle and will drink a full bottle. Last night he was up....my mom said he had mac n' cheese for lunch....so could be milk or pasta or both??? Or nothing and maybe just teeth? or OT???

*LO does NOT eat well. Mealtimes are NOT enjoyable. I know he can sense I am stressed, but it really is hard to try to stay calm. I often give him a variety of choices and then eat my own food and try to just engage in my meal and model eating, but most "meals" are thrown to the floor by him. Lots of screaming, standing in the highchair, whining and pointing for other things on the counter or the fridge...never seeming content with what is offered. Then if he does acquire something he is asking for that ends up being pushed away, he shakes his head, SCREAMS, throws it on the floor, spits it out, and starts the pointing, SCREAMING, whining, and standing up again. Most often the WHOLE meal goes this way. I try hard to move things away rather than let him throw them. I try to just give bites rather than put things on his tray for him to make a mess with. I try to stick to my original choices. When it is apparent he is not going to eat them, I take him out of his seat, but then he is grabbing at my legs and screaming and I pick him up and he is back to pointing at the food in front of me or on the counter/table and the whole thing continues. There is NO distracting him with a toy/game/activity....and me and DD have a hard time eating our meals as a result. It's like he's hungry but isn't happy with any of the food he's given. I never know what foods he will eat and what he will refuse or how much of something he will take before he starts the refusals. It is very emotionally taxing (and to think I am at work all day and only do dinners and weekend meals!)

Okay.....so he does not get rashes/eczema. He used to have yeast on his face and a yeast based diaper rash. It seems to have cleared up. He does not get hives. He does not have wheezing or other indications of trouble breathing. All symptoms seem to be happening intestinally. He gets constipated for the most part or appears (from what I can only guess based on his body language) to have abdominal pain. His reflux also does flare a bit....but is much better than when he was younger.

The GI said she was going to send us for allergy testing if he still couldn't handle cow's milk....but what will that entail? Will it even show anything if he doesn't really have typical allergy symptoms; ie; rashes, etc.?

The mealtime thing is really exhausting. Actually, often his personality is really exhausting. I love him dearly, but he sure can fuss and whine and SCREAM. He is doggedly persistent. I mean....really could carry on and on and on and on for AGES....like an hour or more pointing and fussing about wanting something until you want to pull your hair out. Toys, activities, all the "redirecting" type things do NOT take his mind off of what he wants. So I feel like he is going to continue to wear us out and wear us down during meals if it keeps going this way!

If you've read this far....thanks. Thoughts?







Offline clazzat

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I'm afraid I don't have any thoughts, honey, but I couldn't not post some hugs. Sorry you have it so rough with him at the moment. I wonder if it is the combination of milk upsetting his tummy and then a fear of eating things because it's painful that is causing the worst of the behaviour?

Offline *Kara*

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We had a patch of food refusals and meal time antics at this age as well.  Like you, DD could sense my stress and I am certain that it made things worse.  I only found that things did get better when I would offer 2-3 things in bite-sized pieces for her to try.  I also found that eating with her helped as long as it was the same foods that I was having.

As for the milk issues - the "cold" may have actually been a reaction to the milk hun.  Very common for a milk allergy to manifest as a runny nose. 

Allergy testing for the milk would likely be a scratch test but it's not reliable at this age.  A good friend of mine had her son tested and it came back neg.  i was certain he was MPI so she took him back a couple weeks later and the same test came back positive.



Offline Buntybear

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Re the meal times - why don't you post on the Eating for Toddlers board - or have a  browse over there for ideas? How long has it been going on - could it be a 'phase'  :P

Have you ever tried cutting dairy out totally? Might be worth a try for a few weeks. Would give you a quick answer to the is it milk question?

The allergy tests could be a scratch test or a blood test.

Offline clazzat

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I agree with kara - the perma-cold was pretty much the only tangible symptom of mpi that I had for e, but when I stopped giving her dairy she started sleeping much better too.

Offline squeakersmum

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We had real issues at around 12 months and until a few nights ago with DD and I'm pretty sure it was introducing cow's milk but I remember we couldn't transition DS until later either - around 16 months I think.

With DS it was definitely intestinal and refluxy issues. Constipation alternating with really mucousy nappies. With DD we went from happy independent sleep to screaming in the middle of the night and refusing to go to sleep without us in the room, lots of shouting like she was in pain. We cut out cows milk and right back on other dairy (she was having a yoghurt a day and loves to eat cheese) and it's taken until now for her to get back to sleeping well. Someone told me that the dairy reaction can be cumulative so it was just too much for her system.

As for the screaming at dinner - how does L eat? Finger food, spoon? Is there anything that is a sure fire winner? Any fruit? Abi has got a little better of late but used to be sooooo fussy. Sometimes it was almost like I had to kick start her appetite and then she would eat well. Blueberries were our go to here. She would wolf down a handful of those and then be able to contemplate anything else I was offering.  


Offline ~*Nicole*~

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Have you ever tried cutting dairy out totally? Might be worth a try for a few weeks. Would give you a quick answer to the is it milk question?

We were totally dairy/soy free for a good while there. He used to do purees pretty well and tolerated chicken, sweet potatoes, squash, apples and pears well. Every time we introduced other things that didn't go well, we went back to those and let his belly settle.

Then he seemed to turn a corner and did well with cheerios, baby oatmeal, bananas, berries, peanut butter, rice based things. I'd guess this was a bit after 9 months...nearer to 10 months (b/c I went to the GI around 9 months and I remember being upset that DS was STILL unhappy, discontent, having food issues, fluctuating between loose stools and constipation....and she told me that she felt he'd "mature" and really improve by 10 months....and I didn't believe her and then he DID seem to....for awhile)

We went back to the GI around 12 months and as he had been doing well for near to about 2 months...she said to try some dairy, so we did a bit of cheese and yogurt. Seemed to go well....so we let him eat goldfish crackers, and stopped worrying about hidden dairy. By his birthday we had allowed most things except full blown cow's milk. She said since he was doing well to go ahead and try it. After a couple of weeks or so it seemed he was not tolerating it well...and TBH I am sure I was SUPER light on the dairy and when we went to trial the cow's milk, that is when I allowed a LOT more hidden dairy, etc.

I guess the dairy or teeth question is more, "How do I know if he grew out of it and it's teeth or if it is still an issue??" as I know dairy WAS an issue.


Re the meal times - why don't you post on the Eating for Toddlers board - or have a  browse over there for ideas? How long has it been going on - could it be a 'phase'  Tongue

Ummmm...I've browsed over there and also been on some threads....I can go back or post there if I do need ideas....I'm more curious about the allergy information at the moment though. I THINK it's been going on nearly 2 months....which now that I am TYPING that out does seem to coincide with allowing more dairy into his diet. (And likely soy as well)


As for the screaming at dinner - how does L eat? Finger food, spoon? Is there anything that is a sure fire winner? Any fruit? Abi has got a little better of late but used to be sooooo fussy. Sometimes it was almost like I had to kick start her appetite and then she would eat well. Blueberries were our go to here. She would wolf down a handful of those and then be able to contemplate anything else I was offering.

He was spoon fed, then when the fussiness started I tried to let him just finger feed. Most ended up on the floor...which I didn't care about until he didn't gain any weight for 3 months....so now I try to do a combination. I put things on his tray and try to spoon some food into his mouth. He loves bananas and will eat them any time offered and also strawberries, blueberries, grapes, apples....any fruit really. Also, loves crackers and cereal/snacky type things like cheerios, granola bars, rice cakes, etc. Does not seem to do well with meats, pastas, and only does a few veggies atm.....Will eat frozen waffles/pancakes a bit.....does not like eggs as of yet. I need to go find replacements for the crackers, waffles, etc. that I had started to let him have as I know they have dairy/soy...and bread......now I'm thinking all of these things are making him have belly issues.....but it's so hard to be sure!







Offline squeakersmum

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Do you think he's ok with eggs? A winner, which Abi would eat when she was being really fussy here is banana 'pancakes' - which are super easy and both LOs still gobble them up. 1/2 a banana mashed up mixed with one beaten egg then dolloped into a frying pan. They're really soft.

It definitely sounds like it's a reaction to the dairy.


Offline ~*Nicole*~

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I do think he's okay with eggs. I never had to cut them out and he has had some bits of them. No reactions. He hasn't eaten a large quantity of them. Something, taste/texture, about them he doesn't like...so he usually spits them out. I can try those "pancakes" though!

We're going backwards now here.....with him waking and wanting to have a bottle at night....he's starting to take too many calories overnight and I am sure this affects how much he takes in the day....He took two a bottle at 12:45am and again at 5:30am. AND we've been up for the day since then. He even said "bottle" at :30am and then said "thank you" when handed it.








Offline deb

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Have I posted this article on any of your threads? http://www.diannecraft.org/article-001.htm  It's what got us on the road to completely revamping our eating. We started with adding probiotics to the diet, lots of them, and eventually we ended up taking out dairy (we do only yogurt now) and gluten and most other grains besides (gearing up now to remove even trace gluten as Josie appears to be having an immune response to it :(). It's a lot of work at first with a steep learning curve, but their whole demeanor changed even with just introducing the probiotics, let alone eliminating the other stuff.

And many folks who can't do dairy also can't do soy, as the proteins are apparently similar enough that one can be recognized as the other. :(

Offline ~*Nicole*~

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deb-You know what you have linked that...and I have read it in the past! I had forgotten about it. I think what I really need is the guidance to do a more systematic elimination with specific trials so I can "KNOW" for sure that those foods are the culprits. Plus I need more info on probiotics, etc.







Offline Buntybear

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I know a lot of people swear by pro-biotics so def worth investigating. For us, they gave Olly wind  ::)

Is he back on milk now? You said that he was off it with the cold.

Offline ~*Nicole*~

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No I kept him off but hes still having hidden...and I never took him back of soy. He is drinking neocate, water, diluted juice (started bc of constipation), coconut milk, or a mix of formula and coconut milk.







Offline Buntybear

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Right - and so he is still having NWs? It is a tough one. I guess I would strip it right back and talk out all hidden dairy and soy. Maybe his little tummy needs a complete break to heal itself then start with hidden again if you felt that he tolerated it OK?

Offline ~*Nicole*~

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So....while we are still having some NWs...they seem to be NON-pain related. Or if they have anything to do with pain it seems mild as his body language is totally different.

He's doing formula/coconut milk bottles and we really  haven't restricted his diet too much as he did make improvements before I got around to doing a good food shop for better options for him. I limit dairy.....and have just steered clear of the cow's milk but overall things seem much better. He is even eating a bit better overall rather than spitting everything out.

Hasn't gained much weight but at least did gain slightly.

When he is waking.....it was 2x night for this past week...once near midnight...took a bottle and went back to sleep and then once at either 4 or 5 am...and then NOT wanting to go back to sleep at all. He is clearly still tired but acts like he wants to party for 45 minutes to an hour!!!! I'm trying to work that one out....


BUT it does appear that all this nonsense has to be related to the cow's milk. It just HAS to be. SOOOOO I'll hold off a bit and wait to trial it until he's a bit older. Coconut milk is fine with me :)


Thanks for hanging with me through this.