Help settling 10wk old please!

[Sarsheep]

Hi can someone please confirm the best way to settle a 10wk d to sleep for naps? He does fine at night waking once it twice and can settle himself back to sleep after a feed, but daytime is a different story!
I'm confused about the staying with hi for twenty mins-is this when he's asleep? As he falls asleep? I take him up at first tired signs normally an hour after getting up, swaddle him draw curtains cuddle and put him down awake but tired do I then stay with him for twenty mins until deep asleep or wait till he's asleep then stay for twenty? ATM I'm leaving when he's awake and then back up and down constantly-every ten mins or so! He is knackered tho as when his dummy goes back in he goes straight back to sleep! At night he doesn't need his dummy tho-so don't understand! Please help am so tired and exhausted from constant settling and it's not fair on my toddler!
Thanks

[~Carly~]

Is he crying out?  My DS makes little noises, calls out, squirms, but I do not go in unless he is actually crying when he is settling to sleep.  You might have to stay and sh/pat while he falls asleep, and stay for a few minutes... 

As for the dummy- I find that night time and daytime sleep are totally different for my DS2 (12 weeks old)- he is unswaddled at night, but has to be swaddled during the day or he can't sleep.  Have you tried naps with out the dummy?

[Sarsheep]

No I go to him when the fuss turns to a cry, I think he's too little to CIO. Not tried nap without dummy no, when he's not overtired he spits it out and isn't bothered! Do u stay with your lo till he's asleep?

[~Carly~]

I wouldn't do CIO either   I stay until he is almost asleep, but I sit out of sight and make shhh sounds.  If he can see me, he is distracted!

[Sarsheep]

Can I ask about your nap routine to settle your lo? Also how much a time does be have?

[~Carly~]

He has about 1.25-1.5 hours of A time right now.  Sometimes it is as little as 45 minutes for his first A time if he had a rough night.  Our wind down is pretty simple- diaper change, lights off, and a couple songs in the rocking chair.  When he is relaxed and sleepy, I put him in the crib, swaddle and shhhh with my hand on the mattress by his bottom gently bouncing.  I try to stand so that he cannot see my face.  If he wakes up earlier than 1.25 hrs, I go in and shhh with my hand on the mattress again, and he goes right to sleep.  It is definitely a work in progress! 

[Sarsheep]

Ok so I spent time watching and observing him today and he settled ok for all naps but woke at 45 mins!!! I managed to re settle him with dummy and hand on chest at first but didn't manage to resettle at other two! And advice on this? Is he up too long not long enough? He doesn't yawn until in his bed but I act when he fusses and is kinda kicking about a little crazy and looks wide eyed! Which is between hour / hour and quarter mark.
Appreciate all input x

[~Carly~]

The 45 minute nap think is a killer.  We just got through this- I think it is something they all go through, but continuing to try to resettle will help.  My DS2 can only handle an hour and a quarter of A time, but sometimes it is shorter.  The wide eyed thing sounds a bit like OT, so you might want to start your wind down a bit earlier.  Have you visited the birth club threads yet?  A bunch of us with babies the same age are going the same thing...

When my DS is napping, I feel like I am on high alert   When he starts to stir or fusses, I try to get into his room before he completely wakes up and cries.  If I do, I can usually make shushing sounds and settle him before he even wakes.  If not, the nap is over   I usually have to do this for at least one nap a day, but I am seeing progress!

[Sarsheep]

Ah thanks I was trying to leave him to see if he'd settle himself back to sleep! But his fussings always turn to a cry so I end up in there anyway! Will try and get in sooner-my toddler is at nursery today so have more time! Will look at birth clubs too-thank s x