2.5yo bedtime drama, nw & ew aaaagh

[Frenchbebe]

My 2.5yo dd has always been a great sleeper. Some recent background; About a month ago, she decided it was time to use the potty, with some gentle encouragement from us. She's dry all day and using pullups at night. All good. We had begun cutting the top off her soother bit by bit and she disgarded it recently. Since then, over the past 2-3 weeks, she has become an absolute nightmare to get to sleep at bt. She hasn't taken a daytime nap in months at creche. At weekends, she will sometimes nap if we are out and about in the car. She never takes a nap for me at home.

Her routine was bed at 7, wake at 6-7. And that was working fine for about 6 months. I've tried starting bt earlier, at 6, when it's obvious she's tired. We keep normal routine, stories etc... but now she keeps shouting down the stairs at us. She keeps saying she wants to do a wee / poo so we bring her to potty and she's clearly just messing about. We try to keep the chat to a minimum. It becomes obvious that she gets ot during bt routine and we end up with tears. My dh is really soft and has started offering her extra bedtime stories and will lie with her until she falls asleep. He's been up with her now for 1hr and 15 mins and she's still talking, even though he's pretending to be asleep beside her! I did the same at 4am when I was too tired to try anything else... I know I shouldn't lie beside her but otherwise, she just keeps shouting until she starts crying.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and am at my wit's end. I really need to get her back on track before the next one arrives. I'm afraid I'll end up giving her back her soother for some sleep! I won't... but it's very tempting at the moment!

I would really appreciate any help / advice anyone can offer.

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Honey and welcome 

I am going through something similar with our Son Sam who was 2 in January, but he was/is still napping most days. It sounds to me like DD is over tired Hun. How many times a week does she nap  What can happen is that sleep goes wonky because they are at an in between stage of being ready/able to go without the nap and the transition can be considerably lengthy. I am experiencing and learning as I go how to handle this at the moment to be honest, so you are in good company. Often LO can go some time without a nap then BANG! OT sets in and it's a mess. Her day has been very long for her with no nap. For most LO a short day and early bed time is essential for this interim period, and a 10.5 hour day is often all they can handle. And certainly she will ideally need at very least 12 hours at night to get by without a nap even if she is low sleep needs. It is surprising that she has handled it for so long to be honest, but I guess possible that the potty training and dummy changes may have caused some unrest. Oh and BTW the 'I need a wee wee/poo poo' BT palava is very common  ...little monkeys  .

Sometimes  a couple of naps can keep OT at bay when dropping the nap too. It all depends on whether you work and if EBT is achievable as I appreciate it isn't for everyone. WRT the naps, can you get her over for a nap in the car  like I say even a cat nap can help if you have no choice but to go with a later BT.

Congratulations on you pregnancy  Let's see if we can't help you get your first born feeling better before no.2 arrives.

(HUGS)

Vicki.x.

[Frenchbebe]

Thanks. It took two hours to get her to sleep tonight, what with all the tantrums. I had brought her upstairs at 6pm and she has only just fallen asleep. I wonder if I take her out of creche at lunchtime and drive until she falls asleep - even if it takes an hour, which it regularly does - at least she would get a nap and might be less crazy at bedtime. Am just shattered dealing with the drama and dreading the arrival of the second now as dd will be unbearable and I'll be on my own a lot due to my oh's new job. I feel annoyed as I should be looking forward to meeting my ds in 3 or 4 weeks but instead I don't even like collecting her from the creche as she's liable to flip put on me at any time. And it's not good to feel like this towards my own dd what I truly love. Am just so upset over the whole situation : (

[confusedmummy]

Hey,

Just wanted to let you know I'm going through very similar thing with DS, he is a few months older, and I to am pregnant but only 27 weeks, so have s little longer to sort things out, but my DP works shifts so most nights he's not here so I'll be doing it on my own :-(

Although he is napping when he gets OT he has little melt downs and BT is a battle, with him just wanting to mess around and numerous call backs.

What has helped with us is a gro clock, he was so excited when we got it about 3 weeks ago and has stayed in bed every morning till it goes off, although sometimes he will call me into room before, which kind of defeats purpose. What i did find was though telling him that i had to stay in bed until his sun came up aswell this helped with him calling me in, and if done at BT will usually limit callbacks to a minimum as he thinks i will get into trouble if I'm not in bed while stars out. It doesn't always work, but i dont always remind him if i did it would probably work better, but it could be worth a try with your DD.

I also find if he is OT and i miss the BT window, by even a short time the messing gets worse.

I know how you are feeling in terms of dreading picking up your DD, i feel the same sometimes with BTs.

This could also just be her playing up as the birth gets nearer, and maybe some quality mummy and daughter time, without the stress of BT might help, she may be feeling insecure, and if she's picking up on any negative vibes (they are so clever at that age) it may make it worse.

I really hope things get better for you before number 2. Sending (((hugs))) x

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun,

Sorry things still aren't great. The 1-0 is so tricky and so many of us are struggling right now  . You should join the 'Dropping the nap support' thread at the top of the TS board to pick up tips and join in the moaning which helps  .

You could try APOP a nap in the car but personally I am so over the driving around for hours and wasting fuel  .

Other than that you can keep with the EBT and accept the messing around, or just for tonight go with a later bedtime and see if the 'monkey business' is shorter 

DS is going 12 hours on no nap now! And is going over much quicker with a later BT. But he is 'Angel' and handles OT very well However he is now sleeping 12.5/13 hour nights, so maybe later BT is the way to try next 

(HUGS) Hun.x.

[~*erin*~]

Oh my gosh, sounds like my house these days! I have a 10.5 week old as well struggling with some napping issues on top of it all!

Fiona, my 2.5yo, does still nap, but we've cut it back and asked daycare to limit it to 1.5 hrs. HOWEVER, she's still waking at 5:30am almost everyday!!! Usually followed by an enormous messy poop! (not potty trained yet - a little busy with new baby haha) we've been sticking very strictly with a 7:30pm bedtime, as in she is lying in bed at 7:30 (probably does't fall asleep until maybe 7:45 or so, depending on how much monkeying around she does), but like you, the nonsense and tantrums are unbelievable!! last night wasn't too bad, she got out of bed about 10min after going to bed to tell me she didn't want her blankie on, to which I replied "Fiona, then just take it off", to which she replied, throwing her lovey on the floor "I don't WANT my blankie" ... "fine, back to bed" joyful. And luckily, in bed she stayed. However, the night before was a full 1hr of screaming because she kept getting in and out of bed and we put her back in, took away the blankie becuase she didn't want it, but of course wanted it after saying she didn't, and having her water cup thrown at the back of her door as we stood outside it. What a pleasant evening that was. I tell you, it gave me dreadful visions of what she could be like when she's a teenager - ack!

so what's the solution here? We've been consistent for over a week with the shorter naps and bedtime, and still have EW and nonsense at bedtime even the days when she has her big poop after supper time, she'll still have one in the morning! I'm convinced the feeling of having to go is what's waking her up, but how to tell? (mind you, she doesn't poop every morning, so maybe that's not it....)

[Truly Blessed]

I have a 10.5 week old as well struggling with some napping issues on top of it all!

AAAAAAAGH! Bless your heart, but Congratulations and oh how I would like a squeeze with her  !

Hun, I just think she's plain old UT at BT. I have been putting Sam down at 10.5/11 hours because now I am not giving him a nap and as I said the BT resistance and 'loop the loop' behaviour has driven me crazy   . So tonight I said, no more, and tried a different tack. Put him down at 11.50 hours A time and guess what   For the first time in 3 weeks he didn't scream, didn't even get out of bed and went straight to sleep  . I wish I could do back flips!   So in this house at least, UT is the biggest enemy.

IMHO that nap needs to be much shorter or her A time to bed much longer, but unfortunately something's gotta give. Sucks doesn't it  

(HUGS)

Vicki.x.

Oh and BTW there is about 2 weeks difference in our LO's age.

[~*erin*~]

nap needs to be much shorter or her A time to bed much longer, but unfortunately something's gotta give. Sucks doesn't it

well, daycare gave her only an hour nap the other day from 1230-130pm (she woke that morning at 545am) and that night was the tantrum to end all tantrums, the one with the throwing of the water cup. ugh. so I"m just not sure. at daycare, they usually go for nap around 1pm ... i think A time for her age is around 5 or 6 hours, right? I think we'll try a few more days of the 730BT and then we may need to reassess the situation, try for maybe 745 in bed, aiming for 8 asleep........... to be honest, I can hardly think straight anymore i'm just so exhausted haha joys of motherhood!

[Truly Blessed]

If her nap at daycare is after a super long A time (she should handle 6 no problem at her age but any more may be too much for her) then try going with a shorter pm A time if possible. The long morning can send some LO's into an awful tired mood in the pm and and an earlier BT can counteract that.

to be honest, I can hardly think straight anymore i'm just so exhausted  haha joys of motherhood!

YUP! Makes you feel like this  and this  and this  and this  and finally this 

 .

x.

[s_dhroliya]

oh god, we're in the same boat.  my 25 month olds sleep is terrible...nw's/ew's, you name it!  she started her day at 5:20am today!  shoot me, please!  and, i also have a 7 month old to deal with.  hope this is just a phase that passes soon.  hugs to you all!

[~*erin*~]

If her nap at daycare is after a super long A time (she should handle 6 no problem at her age but any more may be too much for her) then try going with a shorter pm A time if possible. The long morning can send some LO's into an awful tired mood in the pm and and an earlier BT can counteract that.

yup, that's what I was thinking ... since she's been getting up around 530-545am now for about 3-4 weeks and they go for nap around 1230/1pm ....
although she just had another tantrum, so it's such a pleasant time for me right now!

and I love your emoticon storyboard of motherhood! priceless!

[~*erin*~]

oh god, we're in the same boat.  my 25 month olds sleep is terrible...nw's/ew's, you name it!  she started her day at 5:20am today!  shoot me, please!  and, i also have a 7 month old to deal with.  hope this is just a phase that passes soon.  hugs to you all!

haha! I laugh because I say that daily to my husband - "shoot me" I sure hope it passes soon too xo