Feeling like giving up....

[kelleynmaggie]

I'm so frustrated/tired/anxious. My dd is 14.5 weeks and has suddenly started waking at all hours of the night. I realize this is probably a GS, but dang! It would be so much easier to FF so then my husband could take a couple of nights. Also, I'm not sure how much she's actually eating at night so I'm not sure if she "needs" the feeds. AND her poops have been green and watery lately so that adds another stress. Is it my milk? Is it a foremilk/hindmilk issue? Frankly, I'm sick of thinking and worrying about all this. I feel like FF would be so much easier.
Sigh.

[Fiver]

Big hugs.  BF can be so hard sometimes, especially in those early days, but think of all the bottles you're not having to sterilise, all the stuff you don't have to drag around when you go out, all the time during the night that LO isn't crying waiting for the kettle to boil and then cool down before having her milk etc etc....

As for needing feeds at night, she's still tiny and often BF babies will need a NF for a good while.  Any feeds you're giving between midnight and 6am are also great for your milk supply as that is when prolactin (the milk producing hormone) levels are at their peak.

The bad news is that there is often a sleep regression around the 4m mark (along with the big growth spurt and the way our bodies produce milk changing), but that would happen whether LO was BF or FF.

As for the green poos, it could be a foremilk thing.  Are you feeding one or two sides?  If you're switching, are you allowing her to "empty" the first side before switching over?

[jennandsophie]

Hugs.  BFing is hard.  I thought about quitting dozens of times with both my kids.  I decided to hang in there and it did get a bit easier after 4 months or so, but certainly would have quit if it got any harder and not felt bad about it.  

If your DD is waking a lot at night, it may not be an issue with your milk.  There is a 4 month sleep regression that happens around this time, so it could be that.  It could also be a routine issue.

[kelleynmaggie]

I've been trying to implement EASY for the last month or so. It's been very difficult to say the least. I've been stressing over nap times, activity times, and times between feeds. Then, once I think I see a pattern forming, everything changes!! The last two nights were the worst with dd waking 3-4 times.
Today I went to a new mothers' support group. They have a scale there so I did a ore and post feed weigh. She only took in about 2.5 oz so now I'm concerned that she is not taking in enough during the day and this is what is causing her night wakings.
If this is a GS or 4 month regression, how long can I expect it to last? It does get better, right?

[Fiver]

I found that this GS lasted about a week, but feeding was much improved once out the other side.
As for sleep, well, each LO handles it differently, but it will get better (maybe not today, maybe not to tomorrow, but some day soon, as they say in Casablanca!)

[kelleynmaggie]

I guess what I'm confused about is whether or not to feed her when she wakes all those times at night.  If it's a GS, then I want to feed her, right? But what if it's not and I'm just reinforcing bad habits? Will she continually wake if I keep feeding her?

[jennandsophie]

What times is she waking up?  If it's about every 3 hrs or so, usually around 12/1am (assuming you're not doing a dreamfeed at 11pm) and 4/5am, it's likely hunger.  

How long does she go between feeds in the day?  I usually use that as a guide.  So, if she's able to go 3hrs in the day between feeds, I would expect the same at night.  You certainly do want to feed if it's hunger, but then you don't want to feed her every time she's waking in the night if there's another issue.

How does she nap in the day?  Any chance she can be waking from being OT?  

With the 4 month sleep regression, my DS started waking about every hour or two through the night for no apparent reason.  He started doing only 30 min naps in the day and then waking throughout the night for about 2-3 weeks.  It was brutal!  I was soooo exhausted.  It all just stopped one night and then went back to normal again with only 1 or 2 wakings in a night.  It was weird.  My DD never had this, so didn't know what was going on.

[~Carly~]

Hugs!  It is hard at times, but it gets soooo much easier. 

I have done the pre and post feed weigh ins, and the gain is all over the place.  I find that feeds are not as good at moms groups as there is so much going on.  If she is gaining well, I wouldn't let the 2.5 oz worry you

[kelleynmaggie]

Our day routine is getting better and better.  When we first started, she was only able to be on a 2 hour EASY.  I really worked at increasing that little by little and she was at a 3 hour EASY.  Then all of a sudden this week, she seems like she can go longer- more like a 3.25 EASY.  Her naps have always been 45 minute naps which I can sometimes extend by shush/pat.  But this week, she seems like she is sleeping a bit easier.  For instance, today her nap was at 2:20.  She woke at 3:05 on the dot.  I tried to shush pat to get her back to sleep but she was having none of that.  So I took her out of the crib and her room for a little bit.  But after about 10 minutes, she was really fussy, so I knew that she was still tired.  I put her back down and she fell asleep.  I had to wake her at 5:00 because I didn't want her to go too long and mess up her night.  Now that has never happened before!!

As far as her night wakings go, she goes down at 7:00/7:30.  Last night she woke at 10:30, then 2:00, then 4:30, 5:30, and 6:00. I fed her the first three times, then not at 5:30 because I thought there was no way that she could be hungry!  But at 6:00, nothing seemed to calm her down so I fed her again and she fell asleep until 7:20 or so. 

I really hope that this is all just a growth spurt and that she will come out of it soon.  I'm so tired, I can't think straight!

[jennandsophie]

The early morning wakings don't seem to all be hunger-related.  It would be unusual for her to be that hungry within an hour and a half from the last feeding since milk is usually highest in the mornings.  Did she take a full feed every time? 

[kelleynmaggie]

I don't think she did take a full feeding each time during those two morning feeds.  But, she was inconsolable, so it seemed like the only thing to do at the time.

And here is something new that happened tonight: I fed her at 5:00pm and was going to feed her again at 7:00pm, right before bedtime.  She refused to take the breast, but was acting hungry.  My husband warmed a bottle of EBM for her and she took 6oz!!  I'm not sure what that was about.

[jennandsophie]

That's unusual.  She's young but do you think she could be teething already?  My DD popped her first tooth at 4 months.   Anyway, sometimes LOs will not want to BF because it actually causes them pain and they will constantly pull away.

[Fiver]

It's not that uncommon for LOs to take milk from a bottle if they're refused the breast.  With a bottle, there is a constant drip of milk into the mouth, ultimately filling it, which leads to a swallow response to clear the mouth, which starts the cycle over.  Also LOs don't get the "full" signal as quickly with a bottle as they do with the slower feed from the breast, so will take what seems like a large amount.  It's a lot easier to get milk from the bottle than the breast because they actually have to work quite hard to suckle.

It could be that there was a discomfort issue, whether from the position of the feed (so a sore ear or something) or from the sucking (teeth?) 

[babymunkey]

Just adding hugs - I nearly gave up soooo many times before 6 months. I just kept telling myself I would keep going for another week, and if it was no better I'd stop then. Also these lovely ladies told me never to give up on a bad day - as we had soooo many bad BF days, I could never stop!!

Hope your nights get better soon....