Sleep and EASY Support for spirited babies

[becj86]

Well, at least 3hr at this age, if not 3hr15, as a starting point... With a good night that should be reasonably easy first thing in the morning. Have you any way to APOP a decent nap in the morning to get yourself a better start to the day and then work on independent sleep with the afternoon nap?

What happens if you get him drowsy by rocking then put him in the cot? Can you shush/pat him the rest of the way to sleep?

[Kirsten~]

Kirsten, I LOVE you new pic btw!!

Thanks!!!

Overstimulation - baby's brain  is still running a mile a minute and when he stirs, he wakes and just wants to pick up where he left off - usually still tired but raring to go.

I keep wondering if this is our problem, but I can't seem to sort out what is making her OS. What sort of things typically make an LO OS, esp a spirited LO? I think this might be it because she naps pretty well at the babysitters, but generally naps lousy at home whether she's just with DH or with both of us. She wakes up from her naps happy though. There is no getting her back to sleep or her getting herself back to sleep. Of course, even if I could figure it out, I can't talk DH into changing anything. He just figures if she's happy, then no problem. But that's another topic all together.

She's on at least a 3hr A time, but it doesn't seem to matter how long or how short her A time is, we can't get longer than 30-45 min naps (except on random occasions). Just thinking of what else I can try.

[becj86]

What sort of things typically make an LO OS, esp a spirited LO?

TV, excessive excitement - generally hysterical shrieking we saw was OS, not just happy so winding down (just some quiet time) afterwards is important. If OS was inevitable (like visiting grandparents) we worked on 2/3 A time for them to do what they wanted (within reason) and 1/3 A time quietly playing with me/DH in a closed room to calm down before naps.

[Lindsay27]

Our A times have been on the low side lately because of sickness, but I pushed him back up to 3hrs this morning, which was a huge struggle, but I got a 1hr 20min nap!  For the first time in....I don't even know how long!

So, I stuck with a 3hr A time this afternoon, and...15min nap!  What the heck??? But, I let him settle himself, and he's been back sleeping for a little over an hour.

Kirsten, I know what you mean about the screaming and stopping in quick intervals.  I left B alone to settle again today, and again...he almost throws a fit at first...like he's really PO'd that I haven't come running, but after a few mins it was start/stop and he would cry a little, and then you could hear him sort of talking and settling himself.  Believe me, he is not quiet when he lets out those cries...they are loud, but they don't sound desperate so I left him to it.  And within 15mins he was back asleep.  I think before I was definitely confusing this with CIO because of how loud he can be, when in reality he was just settling...loudly!  And it tapers off, he isn't screaming bloody murder for 15mins or anything.  I *think* I am coming to better understand what is a real cry and what isn't.  I think in spirited ones it can be confusing! 

[Kellensmom]

I am having a lot of trouble calming LO at night. He is just over 4 months and we are starting sleep training ( PU/PD) because shh pat does not work. However, picking him up does not work either! Nothing seems to work except nursing, which obviously needs to stop. How do you calm your spirited babies? My LO gets all worked up and sweaty and screaming until he is blue in the face. He will do this for hours ( I gave up after 2) and I feel like I am being cruel! I know he is not hungry as he wakes every 1-2 hours and used to (at about 2-3 months) go 6 hours at night before waking. Once he hit 3 months he regressed.

Do your spirited babies have this temper? How do you handle it? Thanks!

[Kirsten~]

Do you have a wind down routine for him at night? We started having a lot of trouble at BT a couple of months ago, and I got the good advice here to shorten our WD and eliminate the BT story. It made a huge difference for us to make those changes. Also, is his BT consistent and at the same time each night? That sounds like a lot of screaming. Does he have reflux or any other issues that might be causing him discomfort? And yes, my DD does have quite the temper.

TV, excessive excitement - generally hysterical shrieking we saw was OS, not just happy so winding down (just some quiet time) afterwards is important.

Yup, this makes sense. I have talked with DH before about not having the TV on when he has DD, but he thinks I"m over reacting. Clearly I need to somehow get through his head that this would help. I wish I had 4 or 5 days home where I could be in charge and show him how this would make a difference. We get a fair amount of high-pitched shrieking too. I'll keep in mind your 2/3 plan for next week when my ILs will be here for the US Thanksgiving holiday!

[Kellensmom]

I should have been more specific. He does great at BT, after a bath and lotion, but he wakes up multiple times at night ( as many as 6-8!) and it is nearly impossible to get him back to sleep without props- nursing, rocking, paci. He gets him self so worked up! How do you calm your LO when there is a tantrum?

[SukieCat]

I *think* I am coming to better understand what is a real cry and what isn't.  I think in spirited ones it can be confusing! 

This took me a really long time to figure out with my spirited LO too.  He can be very loud and persistent, and I think I still rush in sometimes when he is just settling loudly.  He is approaching 7 mo, and you'd think I'd have his cries figured out by now, but I agree that it can be quite confusing, especially with a spirited one!

[Kirsten~]

Kellensmom, sorry, I completely misunderstood. We use a paci for DD when she needs settling, but it's not time yet for a feed. Don't forget, the paci is only a prop if your LO cannot sleep without it. So if he falls asleep with the paci in his mouth, and he needs to replugged every time it falls out of his mouth, then it's a prop. But if it falls out and doesn't wake him up, then it's just a comfort item. Not sure what is the case with your LO...just didn't want you to think that using the paci makes it a prop. I would still be concerned with hours of crying like that. It seems like there could be some discomfort. Could he be teething? Also, how many times a night are you feeding him? If this is a recent change (like last few days) it could be a GS? Just some thoughts.

He is approaching 7 mo, and you'd think I'd have his cries figured out by now, but I agree that it can be quite confusing, especially with a spirited one!

Me too! I am sure I rush in too early many times, but she usually gets so worked up so quickly that I'm afraid if I let it go too long she will just be more awake.

[becj86]

Kellensmom - Often PUPD is too stimulating for a spirited LO. Its also a last resort training method when you've used shush/pat or a variation consistently for at least 2 weeks with no improvement.

A variation of shush/pat or gradual withdrawal is often more effective and less stressful. A baby who is taking 2hr to settle though, is possibly in pain or over/undertired. Do you have a post elsewhere on the boards?

[timmysmommy]

Just wanted to drop off hugs Kellen'smom!  I have no advice because my spirited dd still has nights where she wakes repeatedly.  She is going back to sleep on her own, but it still WAKES me up!  I found the multiple wakes were due to being OT.  Our routine became much easier once we were down to one nap.  My lo likes an early nap, and a long afternoon.  Pupd did not work.  We used paci to resettle.  It became a prop and I've tried twice unsuccessfully to wean it, so now it's here to stay.  The ladies on the sleep boards are terrific and will give you great advice if you post there!  The ladies here are great for specific spirited questions- like pupd not working for spiriteds.  GL and get sleep wherever and whenever you can!

[2012mama]

Hi Everyone,

Just a few general questions.... and perhaps an ear....

I have a 9 month old little girl who is, let's just say, a handful.

She started up on her knees and standing at 4 months, crawling at 5 months, signing words at 6 months, climbing up the stairs at 7 months, saying 3 words at 8 months and is now walking with a walker, cruising, and holding only one hand or to the couch while walking.  Everyone seems so amazed at her development except me.  I am in awe at the speed of her development but I feel like my friends with babies think I'm bragging when I'm talking about her.  Truth be told, I am secretly jealous of the moms with babies who don't even roll over at the age of 7 months.  Her constant need for entertainment is exhausting.  If I put her in the living room and block the door (I am still very visible in the kitchen making her food) with a low level leather bench, she chewed the side off and now pushes it out of her way to crawl around it.

She also throws temper tantrums regularly.  I don't think I've ever heard of a 6 month old throwing a temper tantrum, hitting her mother, and biting her just for changing her diaper!

I guess I would just like to hear we're not the only ones out there!

Thanks...

[becj86]

Hi 2012 Mama

I have a spirited with pretty speedy and atypical development too, so I get what you mean when you say your friends think you're bragging.  DS was walking at 8.5 months, walking well when he turned 9 months and running at 10.5months. He never cruised - just stood up in the middle of the room and did squats at 7.5 months - that continued for a month then he walked. You can imagine that I soon stopped going to mothers groups...

What I did though, was take him to the park and the library and places he could meet older kids and watch and marvel at him as he negotiated new places and new social situations. I also opened his world to lots of things that many babies never get to do - he loves swimming and now at 19 months is putting together the motor skills not usually present til age 3 and really working on swimming freestyle... no doggy paddle for this kid once he saw me swimming laps once

Can I also suggest you read Raising Your Spirited Child and start implementing ideas now in an age appropriate way (for practise for you).

There are more of us out here, this is a safe place to come and ask questions, talk honestly and openly about LO's development and not feel bad about it Yes, these spirited kiddos require a lot of energy, but they can also be a lot of fun if you let them!

[Canadian_Mom]

Hi there 2012 mama!

I get what you are talking about being exhausted from entertaining them.  I had an angel baby for my first child and having one with some spirit is definitely a change, lol.  DS1 was happy to sit and play on his own for such long periods.  I just put a few toys around him and he was super happy.  I know that this will not be the case with DS2.  When he is sitting a toy will only last so long before he needs a new toy or a new environment to sit in.  Unless we are on a playdate or at moms group.  This week at moms group I swear that he was sitting or on his tummy without any toys for the entire 2hrs just watching the kids run around, so nice to not have to keep changing things up for him!!

I know that my one friend with a gifted, very spirited LO found that putting him in activities geared for kids a little older helped a lot.  So maybe think of activities that you would think for a 18m/o or 2y/o and try those?  You might be able to relate more to those moms as well!!

HTH!

[Lindsay27]

Hi 2012 Mama!

I also know how you feel with the constant need to entertain them!, some days it is easier to deal with than others that's for sure!

I completely agree with Nadia and Bec, sometimes getting out is the best thing you can do!  My DS also loves swimming, so I take him to the pool on Monday's, and on Wednesday's he goes to baby reading group at our library.  It is also nice for you to be able to get out of the house

That said, you obviously cannot go out every single day, and there are those things you need to do at home...make baby food, do laundry, vacuum, cook dinner, etc.  Some things that work for us - I bought a used jolly jumper for $5 and it is honestly the best $5 I ever spent!  I can put him in there and he is content to bounce for a good 20mins (prime time to vacuum!), and he can burn some serious energy. 

I know TV can be overstimulating for some spirited LO's, but my DS loves the Baby Einstien movies, particularly the Baby MacDonald one . In the morning when I have to wash and sterilize his bottles and make formula, I feed him breakfast in his high chair and then leave him in the seat and set up a movie on the laptop with a few toys on the tray, and this gives me enough time to do his bottles etc.  Plus, it is far enough away from nap time that I have time to help him wind down so I don't think the movie really overstimulates him.