Sleep and EASY Support for spirited babies

[Tecike]

OK, I'm so slow in technical things - kindle is a device on which you can read books? I tried to find Serbia on the international kindle list, which I did, but after that I couldn't find any details as for how I could buy one here...  Then I checked UK prices and oh boy, it's expensive, I don't know if we could afford it...  I think I could save up for a paperback copy and then try to arrange sending it... 

Thanks for tips on tantrums - actually that was what I did with DS1. I just thought he is too young yet, but maybe it's worth to start establishing a habit. I haven't left him alone when upset, I just put him down and sat beside him. I'll try to use my voice more, I'm sure it'll help. He's just getting really frustrated currently as there are things he's not allowed to do and it's so hard to cuddle him when he arches and kicks around. Also he's on the go all the time, so sitting in a place to calm down might be a real challenge.... 

[timmysmommy]

I hope Bec can get the book to you!  It helps with understanding spiriteds.  My DS was spirited as a baby but is a mellow toddler.  I can talk him through a tantrum- but like I said he is SOO mellow.  I Use the happiest baby on the block "fast food" method for tantrums.  It is called fast food because you repeat the order before saing anything new.  Say your lo is upset because it's time to leave and they don't want to go.  While tantrumming you would say, "no leave, no leave, you don't want to leave now" using emotion to show that you understand they don't want to leave.  I continue this until he is calmer, and then I say, "I know you don't want to go but it is time to leave now" etc. 

I think try to avoid the tantrum in the first place is really important.  So giving a warning for transitions, "we're leaving in 5 min", trading toys, avoiding the candy aisle in the grocery, giving two choices," do you want the apple or banana",etc.

Can you pinpoint your lo's triggers?  DS melts down when OT so I really pick my battles if I know he is OT.  Dd has just started throwing mini fits when she's mad- arching her back etc.  Should be interesting to see how she is in a few months!

[roimata9]

Tecike - you don't have to have a kindle to read the ebook, you can just download it as epub and read it on your computer. I just bought it to read, and it was $13.95 NZ so pretty cheap!
Good luck!

[Tecike]

roimata - I wish it was that simple! Looked up epub, you have to buy it there - which is fine, not expensive, except that Serbia is not on paypal and they say *it's not for sale in my country*! 

timmysmommy - Thanks for your tips! I will surely try them! I used to talk through with my DS1 as well, but he was so easy in that respect!
Right now the trigger is everything that he can't do - say, not touching the computer, getting the remote and generally rules around the house... He just has to learn these things. Hopefully he will learn it fast! 

[roimata9]

I bought mine from whitcoulls.co.nz you could try there maybe???

[Tecike]

No, no luck... 
I can't pay online... and I checked all free ebooks/ downloads, it's not available.... 

This is the time I wish I lived somewhere else... 

[timmysmommy]

Lol Teckie!  Ds finally learned the rules at 2 yo!  He listens most of the time now.  I tried Timeouts, etc when he was younger and it never sank in. I wound up just using lots of distraction.  So if you see him heading to the computer, I'd try to pull out a favorite toy.  If I was taking away the remote, I would have another toy to give him in exchange.  I remember being really frustrated that I couldn't find a way to keep him out of the kitty litter.  Gross.

I don't know what to suggest about the book.  How hard is it to ship from the US to where you live?  Could I mail it to you?

[Tecike]

Amy, I know it will take time (more than with DS1, he's such a rule-guy, just LOVES rules...  ), and it's just wishful thinking that it'll be easy... 
I'm doing the same with distractions, and he proves really hard to distract, but I'm not giving up! 
We have an old remote I give him, but he's not stupid - when I give it to him, just throws it away and still wants to reach mine! 

I suppose mailing would be fine, I just don't know how much it would cost and how I could pay you. Will go to the post office on Monday and ask!

[becj86]

Hon, I'd happily look for a copy here and post it. Honestly, it'd be worth it just knowing you have it and would be able to use it and pass it on if you saw the need.

[roimata9]

I just finished the book - I think it helped me understand DH more than anything! He's lowish energy, so I hadn't thought of him as spirited, but he totally is! Do you think that Tracy's idea of touchy babies is included in the RYSC book as spirited?
My LO is 14months, and we've just successfully used wi/wo to solve a blip in sleeping caused by teething/illness etc. But he still sleeps really badly with his carer. Has anyone got tips for helping spirited children with carers? Mostly the carer comes to our house with two other babies, so he's in his cot with all his usual stuff most of the time, although sometimes they all go to the house of one of the other babies. When that happens he sleeps in the cot, and the girl whose house it is sleeps in a portacot as she's fine with sleep. He only ever short naps with her and really fights PD.
So he always get OT with her, combined with missing me for 7 hours and he ends up a mess that evening (it's only 1 day per week).
I'd love to hear what has worked for other people!

[timmysmommy]

Yes I think touchy and grouchy are in rysc as spirited because of there extremes on the scales of the things she outlines- personalities?  Sorry I can't be more technical than that since it has been awhile since I read the book so I forget the proper terminology. 

Big hugs on the sleep issue.  I often wonder what my kids would do elsewhere.  Not sleep I guess!  I have a hard time getting them to sleep here at home in their dark rooms with white noise!!

Maybe Bec will have some suggestions!

[becj86]

Yes, I think touchies probably do fit at least as s-p-u-n-k-y, if not spirited, as a lot of the sensitivities covered in RYSC are part of a touchy's temperament.

What's his routine Roimata? Is the carer doing some quiet activity to help him relax without letting him know its nearly sleep time before he naps? We just had a breakthrough with sleep at day care about 5 months after starting and that was 2 days a week in the same cot every day. Overstimulation was a massive problem initially for DS.

[roimata9]

His routine is all over the place as he's in the 2-1 transition and been sick, but before all that he was doing on an average day
WU 7am
AM nap -9:30-10:30
PM nap 1:30-3:30
BT 6:30-7

Today's (at the carer)
WU 6am
AM nap 9:30-11:30 (I was there so put him down - he was upset so did WI/WO a few times but had to leave wile he was still crying so she took over)
no PM nap she put him down at 1:30 and he didn't sleep, just sang to himself for an hour then she got him up. I'm not surprised as it was only 2hrs after a long nap!
I tried to APOP a buggy nap but he didn't fall asleep so we did EBT at 5:30 and it's just gone quiet now at 5:50.

That AM nap is the longest he's slept with her, maybe because he has a cold and I put him down?

Generally my routine with him is, change nappy, into sleep sack, go into bedroom, read a story, sing his lullaby while I walk to the bed and lie him down. I do wi/wo if nec at the start and if he wakes before 45 mins.
She can do this if the other kids are asleep already, but otherwise has to do most of the settling in the lounge with them, he usually goes to sleep okay, but just doesn't sleep very long and most of the time she's too busy with the others to wi/wo.
I don't know about the quiet activity part. because there's only a few of them it's pretty low key most of the time, but I think she does a story first.

[becj86]

Yeah, we had that - DS would go to sleep fine but not sleep long enough.

That AM nap is the longest he's slept with her, maybe because he has a cold and I put him down?

Or maybe he was more relaxed with you there or maybe he was getting more attention while you were there (my guy is a major attention seeker and liked to be up while the other kids were asleep so he could monopolise the two carers) or maybe its the breakthrough sleep you've been waiting for and he'll sleep better from now on. Hard to know

I forget how old he is... maybe you need to cut that AM nap to a CN of 20-30min to get a long nap at 1:30 which I presume is when the other kids sleep?

[Tecike]

Sorry, roimata, I don't have any useful advice right now with carers... but I'm reading along, as in Sept. I'm going back to work FT and then I'll face all these issues! My DS will be watched by my MIL and FIL and I'm trying hard now to get him used to sleeping at their place. He has a cot there and I take him 3 times a week for his am nap there. I'm putting him down now, but it takes ages for him to settle atm. Hopefully by Sept. we'll get to the point where the ILs can put him down. FX for you to figure it out!!! 

So, I went to my bank and managed to get a credit card with which I can shop online!  Yay! I'm going to order the book now!