Sleep and EASY Support for spirited babies

[becj86]

By doing this is have managed to stretch the A time by nearly 30 minutes in the last couple of weeks. Also I found switching the TV off helpful.

Yep, this is my standard suggestion re: OS

OK, anyone having an irregular eater???

Yep! L is very odd with his eating too. He has phases of eating almost all protein... dairy cravings (obviously not something V will do) and also eats heaps either at lunch or dinner, rarely eats much breakfast at all.

[tweetie]

In our house TV is forbidden when G is awake  only and only when I trim her nails - then Baby TV for a few minutes  .

[lily_layne]

I just need a place to vent some frustration with some moms who I know will understand.  All of my friends have such easygoing babies so they don't always understand.

We've just had a bad few days/nights.  We're back to 40 minute naps (1 hr if we're lucky) and after a few weeks of STTN, she's been waking up at night and taking 1-3 hours to get back to sleep.  I feel like I can't get her A times right and I'm always second guessing about whether she's UT or OT or just needs help extending her naps.  She was doing 2 hour naps with no help from me and sometimes she would cry a bit in the middle but could settle herself.  Now I never know whether to go in right away or give her a few minutes to settle herself and no matter what I choose to do it never seems to work and then I'm left wishing I'd have made the other choice.  I'm trying to increase A times because DD is almost 5 months now and I think that's part of the problem but it's hard to know how much A time to give her after a short nap.  I've gone back to swaddling her and using the swing which feels like a major step backwards.  I don't know if this is caused by her recent immunizations, discomfort from teething, a developmental stage, bad parenting, all of the above or none of the above.  All of the this just makes me feel like I can't do anything right

To top it off, last night was her 3rd long NW and when I asked DH to go help settle her, he told me was out of patience (all he was doing was laying in bed listening to me try to settle her - sure must be difficult)!!!!!  As if I wasn't thin on patience after doing the long wakes the previous 2 nights while he slept!   He did apologize this morning and as a peace offering, cleaned the floors today but I really could have used his help last night.

Sorry for the rant - I just needed to get that off my chest.

[NewMum79]

Hey Lily_layne,

I know exactly what you mean, DD is 5 months and 1 week now and whilst she has never STTN she had settled into 1 NW around 4-5am and then suddenly a couple of weeks ago she started waking at 2.30am for no apparent reason (aaaarrrrghhh).

There is a wonder week (developmental leap) around that time and I have certainly noticed a lot of changes - plenty of attempts to roll, sit, try new sounds, etc. I think we might also have some teething going on under the gums.

I think the LOs also reach a point when they can handle more A time, ours has increased by 30 minutes in the last couple of weeks and I am still getting some short naps so am looking to push a bit more (currently on 2hr 15min).

I'm sure it's not bad parenting, it sounds like your DD is normally a good sleeper so you have done great. I think it is a phase that will pass whatever the cause (3 of our last 4 nights have been without the extra NW so fingers crossed for you too!).

[lily_layne]

Thanks for the encouragement! It helps to know that others have gone through something similar - it reassures me that it can't be all my fault if it's happened to others

DD has never been a great sleep but usually a lot better than this.  Thanks for the tip on the 1/2 hour A time increase.  I've increased it a bit (10 min) and was worried about doing too much too soon but I think she is ready for more than I'm giving her.

[Kirsten~]

Hi Lily_layne and NewMum....I'm sure the more experienced moderators here will give you some great help. We have found that it is best to err on the side of OT with a spirited baby. Certainly, you don't want them to get too OT, but I find it best to shoot for longer A times and (for us) even a later BT. We recently moved her BT back an hour to 8:30 and it made a huge difference in her night time sleep and naps (sleep begets sleep and all). I think I was always so worried about her being OT that she was ending up UT and that led to those long NWs that Lily_Layne mentioned. Good luck!

[Lindsay27]

Just wanted to offer my support too to Lily_layne and NewMum...we know, we've been there!  My DS was always a horrific napper, he had a good spell at around 4 months, but from 5 - 6.5 months it was horrible, and nothing I did made one bit of difference.  I would say at around 6.5 months things just started working and by 7 months he was taking (and still is taking) great naps.  It's so hard!! I also don't know if it was developmental, teeth, or what!

I asked DH to go help settle her, he told me was out of patience (all he was doing was laying in bed listening to me try to settle her - sure must be difficult)!!!!!  As if I wasn't thin on patience after doing the long wakes the previous 2 nights while he slept!

If it makes you feel any better, I don't think my DH has ever settled our LO.  He gets way to frustrated and like your DH has little patience.  It would take a lot for him to get out of bed to help me!  I think he just feels like he is horrible at it (which, to be honest...he is! LOL ) so what's the point?

The mods here are great, but I just wanted to offer some support to say that we've been there, and for us, it did get better   I know that doesn't help right now, but there is hope!

And Kirsten, thanks for the tip on bath time   I ditched the baby tub and now bath time is a lot more enjoyable!  (Except for the fact that I am usually soaked afterwards from B either splashing, or turning the shower on when the water is running!)

[lily_layne]

We have found that it is best to err on the side of OT with a spirited baby.

Thank you for this advice!!!!! Once I read that, I started thinking about what's changed over the last week and I think the big thing was that I was worried that her short naps may be OT related so I was putting her down earlier which led to fighting sleep (I had to break out the hair dryer every nap to calm her down:)) and UT naps.  It didn't help that last week she put herself to sleep without her paci or any crying and I've been aiming for a repeat performance and I kept putting her down before she showed any tired signs hoping that would do the trick.  I also think I'm confusing some fussiness from teething pain as tiredness.  Now that I'm thinking about it, she's not as sensitive to OT as I think she is - on days where I've had no choice but to keep her up longer she has typically had good naps after the long stretch. 

Lindsay - Thanks for the encouragement and sharing your experience.  It's a good reminder that our LOs behaviour isn't always related to what we're doing - sometimes it just is what it is and we need to accept it and adapt. I'm certain that my spirited DD was chosen for me to teach me patience and to help me learn that I can't control everything in my life:)  How did you change your EASY to manage the short naps?  Right now I'm doing AEAS after a short nap but I'm wondering if EASAS would work better?  Did you add in any extra naps on days when they were really short?

Last night was better but not great.  She woke up at 12:30 and I was able to get her back to sleep in under an hour and this time she actually seemed like she wanted to sleep.  She woke up again around 3 but DH got up and settled her (yay!) - it took a few tries - she would go back to sleep and then cry out again in 10 minutes but was down again by 4.  Her cry sounded cranky so I think it was teething pain that woke her the second time.  She cried again at 5:30 but settled herself.  She is one happy camper today.  No teething rash and no fussiness and all smiles.  I stretched her A time to 2 h 20 and she went down easily - my fingers are crossed for a good nap!

[Lindsay27]

How did you change your EASY to manage the short naps?  Right now I'm doing AEAS after a short nap but I'm wondering if EASAS would work better?  Did you add in any extra naps on days when they were really short?

Luckily, for the most part even though his naps were short, I was able to extend them by patting him on the back.  On the days that didn't work I would absolutely add in a late-day cat nap if I could, and failing that...an early BT.  Sometimes as early as 6pm if I had to!  If I remember correctly, I think I was doing the same as you - AEAS.

Just wondering, are you feeding through the night at all?  At 5 months it is still common to have a NF so I am wondering if any of those NWs are hunger related?

[lily_layne]

I usually feed her on the first wake up and any other wake up that's at least 4 hrs later. Sometimes I know she's not hungry but feeding is the fastest way to settle her and I get to sit down and close my eyes

[lily_layne]

On the days that didn't work I would absolutely add in a late-day cat nap if I could, and failing that...an early BT.  Sometimes as early as 6pm if I had to!

When you did early BT did your LO wake up earlier than usual?

[Kirsten~]

Thank you for this advice!!!!! Once I read that, I started thinking about what's changed over the last week and I think the big thing was that I was worried that her short naps may be OT related so I was putting her down earlier which led to fighting sleep

GLad I could help! It took me a while to realize it, but when my DD is fighting me at naptime, then she's probably not tired yet. So DH and I have taken to giving her another 15-30 mins of play time if she is really fighting us. Sometimes it just takes her a few mins to settle for her naps, but if she can't seem to settle down, then maybe try giving her a little more A time and then try again. Usually works for us.

And Kirsten, thanks for the tip on bath time   I ditched the baby tub and now bath time is a lot more enjoyable!  (Except for the fact that I am usually soaked afterwards from B either splashing, or turning the shower on when the water is running!)

Haha! Same here. I give her a washcloth of her own to play with in the tub, and her new thing is to throw it out of the tub, which means a soaked washcloth is landing in my lap a few times a night. Glad B's enjoying it!

    On the days that didn't work I would absolutely add in a late-day cat nap if I could, and failing that...an early BT.  Sometimes as early as 6pm if I had to!

When you did early BT did your LO wake up earlier than usual?

I've done the same as Lindsay. If we have short naps, then we usually have to fit in a short CN, and often times we just suck it up and take her for a drive to get her to BT. I'm not sure what others have had as their experience with early BTs, but for us it never worked well. Anytime we tried for an early BT, she would wake up 1-2 hours after BT and be up for 30-60 mins. I'm not saying don't try an early BT, but if you see this pattern with your LO, then you may have to do the APOP CN (stroller, drive, whatever works) and keep the BT the same.

[Lindsay27]

When you did early BT did your LO wake up earlier than usual?

I don't think so, but during this time I also remember that he would still have OT wakings about 45mins after he went to bed, but I could usually settle him.  We've dealt with EWs on and off throughout and for various reasons - teeth, too much daytime sleep, etc.

We have found that it is best to err on the side of OT with a spirited baby.

I thought about this today!  B seemed really tired this morning for no apparent reason, and was acting like a bit of a bear, so I put him down for his AM nap 10mins earlier than usual.  He went to sleep perfectly fine, but sure enough...45mins later he was up.  I laid him back down and gave him his blanket and soother and he was back to sleep quickly, but I was cursing myself for not sticking to his usual A time.  In reality, I think his gums were maybe just a little sore.  Crazy how 10mins can be the difference between a 1.5hr nap and a 45min one!

[Tecike]

When you did early BT did your LO wake up earlier than usual?

I know my DS is older, but for us EBTs have always worked. He usually wouldn't wake earlier in the morning, but it gave him an opportunity to catch up on sleep. This was especially good when we were going through 2-1 transition - we had EBT for over a month and it worked wonders!

[Skadiver13]

EBT do not work for my LO as he does not tack on lost day sleep. If we have a bad nap day I'll apop a CN if need be, or just apop the end of the 2nd nap.