18 month sleep regression support thread - Part 2

[okinawamama]

Can I ask you ladies a quick question. I am trying to decide if I have a temporary home here with you ladies or if my issues are routine related. my little guy turned 18months this week and we are having some strong BT refusal. I'm letting him nap for 1.45-2hrs. How long of an A time would you give if you were me?

[okinawamama]

Alright,, I think I need to reserve a spot here :/

after beginning our BT wind down at 745, it is now 1020 and I've just gotten my LO to sleep. My little guy is requiring between 1-2.5hrs of rocking, soothing to get to sleep right now. I am at a loss.

Here's our normal routine.

WU: 730ish sometimes earlier and  I always wake by 8 if he's not awake already
Nap:1-3( I have to wake him almost every day)
BT: 8

What do you ladies think of this routine? Is it standard 18month regression behavior or do you think he's dropping his sleep needs and I need to change something. He's been needing to be rocked completely asleep for about 10 days, but once asleep he has been sleeping through the night. I'm terrified of that I've messed the whole thing up and he'll begin fighting BT and then waking all night. HELP!!!!

[Lolly]

Your routine looks fine to me!

How are things going at the moment?

Laura

[Annabelp]

Hi ladies

I have posted elsewhere for advice but think i need a spot here with you guys!

DD is nearly 18 months and nights have been bad for the past week. She's never been a great napper but has been an angel during the night without any moans.

Now we get at least 1 NW either early (say 10pm) or later (say 3am). All I need to do is go in her room, tap her mattress then I sit and wait until she falls back to sleep (which can take ages as she seems wide awake!!) THe chair in her room isn't the comfiest to doze on and today I am a zombie with lack of sleep and have a sore nexk from dozing for 20 mins in her room grrrr!

It is made worse as DS (35 months) is in the room next door so I do go into DD perhaps earlier than I perhaps should so that I don't end up with the whole house awake!

My DS had this regression almost to the day the same as her so I know it will pass but when you're in the midst of it it seems never ending!

We are going out tonight so am going to try to aim for a 6pm bed time (for DD not for me - although I feel like I need it) and then fingers crossed she doesn't wake up for the babysitter!

[Lolly]

It's a hard time!

What is her routine like now?

Laura

[roimata9]

Hi there,
I'd love some advice! My LO is 18 months and is started having problems with independent sleep. I'm not sure if it's sleep regression, or if it's the fact we've recently been on two holidays and with crazy routines and a lot of APOPing as he hates sleeping anywhere besides home and daycare.
His naps are generally getting shorter too, but he is waking seeming grumpy and tired from them, the few times he's done 2+ hr naps in the last month or so, he's been super happy afterwards - he definitely needs them!
This is our routine:
WU between 6:30-7
nap is around 12:30 for 1-2 hours ( I don't cap - very occasionally he will do longer than 2 hours)
BT is 6:30-7:30 depending on nap length.

His final canine is cutting, so we are medicating him before BT with nurofen.

I've had a quick skim through this thread, but couldn't find what I'm looking for, which is:
Is it best to APOP through the 18 month sleep regression, or should I stick to the techniques we used to use (WI/WO)?
I tried wi/wo last night and it didn't work, he would not settle with me in the room at all. He kept saying "up up" and signing for milk. He will settle more quickly with DH, but he was out. By the time DH got home he was beside himself, and DH ended up taking him for a drive to settle him. He just wants to be fed to sleep, but I don't want to set this up as a habit.
ANy advice?
TIA

[becj86]

A 1-1.5hr nap at this age is usually OT - can you bring your nap back to 12 so he's having 5.5hr to nap?

We are feeding at wakings here (or feeding, then PD for independently going back to sleep, once he's had enough cuddles - that's all he really seems to want, milk and cuddles with me. DH will. not. do.

We're getting delicious 3hr naps to compensate for the terrible nights at least. I keep getting sick from being run down and tired...

[roimata9]

He's definitely OT at the moment after our trips away, but before that I don't know. He tends to sleep better when we've been busy and he's run around a lot, so I feel like his shorter naps are UT - could that be right? I find him so hard to figure out! Today he did 2hrs after a 6.25 hr A time because it took him so long to get to sleep, but that was after a short night since it too him 2hrs to get to sleep the night before.

He's really fighting BT and naps - I try to put him down and he goes rigid in my arms and starts screaming. If I feed him, he'll get to the stage where he is droopy enough to go down without a fight; if I put him down before then, DH can usually get him to settle, but I can't.

So should I can the feeding to sleep or just go with it until this phase passes?

[Annabelp]

For the first time in 2 weeks dd slept right through :-) Bed time was earlier than I have ever done at 6.30 and she went straight down and woke at 7. May well be a fluke but am going to do early bed tonight again and cross my fingers!

For nw I just go into dd room, tap the mattress and sit down on the chair. I don't speak at all. Dd will eventually lay back down and go to sleep. Then I can only leave the room once I hear the little snoring though!

[becj86]

so I feel like his shorter naps are UT - could that be right?

I'd be surprised. DS always sleeps better if he's been running around too, physically he needs a sleep, just as much as his brain does, so his body lets him rather than jerking around, yk?

The OT I refer to for the nap being short is short-term OT, his nights might be enough to get him through but he may take a better nap if he is going down a little earlier is all.

So should I can the feeding to sleep or just go with it until this phase passes?

Your choice. IME, LO's tend to go back to independent sleep reasonably well once they're through phases like this but I don't know if that becomes less likely the older they get. I'm going with it for now.

We have nights as little as 8.5hr sleep but with so much lying in the cot (over an hour each end of the night) chatting to lovey/dummies, lying and thinking that we seem to be doing ok rest-wise.

Annabelp - Yay for the STTN

[Lolly]

Annabelp - great night! fingers crossed it continues!

becj86 - As lovely as those long naps are I am wondering if they are too long? I wonder if the day time sleep is actually robbing the night sleep now. I know they need a good nap to make up for a rubbish night but you can get into a cycle of needing that long nap but the long nap is not helping the night IYSWIM!

Laura

[becj86]

Yeah, I KWYM, Laura. Have tried capping and it was a disaster. In all fairness, I need BT to be 7:30 at the earliest 3 days each week, so prefer to keep it that way the rest of the time too. I'm hoping with set nap (12) and set BT (7:30 which he goes down fine for after 4.5-5.5 hr depending on nap length), he will start to sleep later in the morning - DH leaves for work at 5:15 and his car is quite noisy - wakes L if DH rattling round getting ready hasn't already. Then the light keeps him awake - sun's up, its daytime in a toddler's mind... but he does just lie in bed creating his little imaginary world for his dummies, so its not strenuous.

As much as the naps are probably part of the problem with the nights, they are all that's keeping our sanity and L rested at the moment. He did self-regulate nicely a few weeks ago and slept til 6:30, then a 2hr nap and that was fine and dandy, then he got a little OT again and the whole early wake cycle started again. L has terrible, quite lengthy NT's in his naps and the 1st half of the night when OT, so I'm avoiding that as much as anything else.

[becj86]

It may be a little soon to say, so I'll whisper:
DS is waking less at night... he seems to be self-settling more regularly through the night too. He was up only once last night.

Not sure if its just that we're coming out of this regression or because of how I'm talking to him, but it may be helpful for you guys too. I had been telling DS that I'd be there any time he needed me (thinking this would give him confidence I'd be there if needed so he could go back to sleep easily without me) but since I've started telling him I'm a much nicer mummy when I get sleep and I know how good he is at going to sleep by himself, that he can turn over and get his dummy/puppy and have a suck/cuddle and go back to sleep, he's reduced the number and length of NW's

[oneplusone]

What? There's an 18 month sleep regression??? Why do I never read ahead far enough and fast enough.

I think DS is starting this... he goes to bed really well and naps decently at daycare. Usually from 12ish to 1:30 or 2:00 ish. At home he naps better usually 2 sometimes 3 hrs. But here's the problem... he's waking randomly between 3 and 5. I BF him and he used to go back to sleep easily. Now he's up screaming and thinking it's time to get up and play and screams and scream for about 1 hr prior to me getting him to settle. He's not hungry b/c I just BF him, he's not in pain b/c he has all his teeth, he's not sick right now (knock on wood), so... it's just that after 9 to 10 ish hrs of sleep he's not quite tired enough to go back to sleep. But 4 or 5 is way to early to be up for the day. I know I shouldn't be BF him at night, but ever since I've been back to work he wakes at night to BF (reverse cycling) that I haven't had the heart to break b/c of all his daycare adjustments and sickness. I'm thinking I should put him to bed a touch later. He's usually asleep by 6:30 which would make for the required 11.5 hrs at night b/c we have to be up at 6 for work/daycare.

Anyways at least I found this thread and realized there is an 18 month regression as well... 

[becj86]

Yep, that's what ours looked like initially too... is he happy to stay in bed quietly in the morning?