Please Help - Dont know what we are doing wrong!

[Ferretmad]

Hi!
Our son is 19weeks old and we have had a few issues with naps and feeding (mainly the transition from breast to bottle as I went back to work) which have now been worked out. He naps beautifully - we swaddle him, put him down and walk away - and feeds are pretty good now too. We have started weaning (he was 9lb 15oz at birth and is still around 85th percentile - milk wasnt filling him), this is going great and no problems with indigestion that we can see. The problem is that his night sleep has completely gone to pot. He used to go down with quite a struggle, but then sleep sound ignoring any interruptions until around 2.30am (and we thought we were hard done by!!! Who knew??? Lol). He now settles much better, although it still isnt as smooth as his naps, but he can wake anywhere between 2 and 8 times a night. We aim to feed no more than twice per night and the other times we resettle him without feeding. Sometimes this is easy, sometimes not so much. Sometimes it works and he then sleeps well, sometimes he drifts off and is awake again within 20minutes. We have never done a dream feed - his first sleep was always his best quality, if you disrupted that then he never slept so well after, and with breastfeeding its hard to do a proper dream feed without waking him up. But it always worked well with one or sometimes two feeds a night. The problems started before weaning and we were hoping this would help, as his wakings are quite erratic we thought they might be hunger, but it has made no difference. The only suggestions anyone has made are controlled crying or cry it out, and I dont want to do either. We do give his crying a moment or two to check he isnt about to drift off, and probably around once out of 10 times or so he will,  but I dont want to start leaving it longer. Ill post our normal routine up here - suggestions welcome!!

[Ferretmad]

This is our routine on an average day@
6.30am - wake and breastfeed
6.45am - nappy change, plays on his own on a floormat while I get breakfast, then maybe a story or a game with mum or dad
8.00-8.30am - First nap
10.30am - A spoonful of fruit puree with a couple of spoons of baby rice and formula - then as much formula as he would like, between 150 and 220mls
11am - nappy change and quiet play while the meal settles, then normally out for a walk, or a trip to the supermarket (he loves it ^^) or aquatics centre to watch the fish.
1pm-1.30pm - Second nap
2.30pm - Two spoonfuls of baby rice and formula, maybe 100-200ml
3pm - nappy change, play on the floor or out in the garden, stories
4.30pm or thereabouts - third nap
5pm - 5.30pm - formula feed, limited to 200ml or less so that he eats well for his last feed, then we have him playing in his seat or on his mat, sometimes we have music on. He is sometimes a little grizzly around this time of night
7.10pm- Breast feed
7.20pm - Bath and change
7.30pm - Swaddle, and sit with him until he's quiet and sleepy
7.40pm-8pm -can be left, previously without upset!
Anywhere from 9.30pm onwards, unleash hell!!

[katie80]

Hi there, welcome to BW.

I notice a couple things in your routine that could be contributing to the NWs. First, he is on the younger side of starting solids and milk is still the most important feed until one yr, so I would still be offering milk first. Whether breast milk or formula, it is much more calorie dense than any solids are at this point. It could in fact be that he was waking more in the night because he was hungry, but that means he still needs more milk at this point rather than solids (introductory solids are basically for learning how to move food around the mouth rather than fill a baby up). 

While he may have started waking because of hunger, I do think now you need to take into consideration indigestion. Solids at an early age, esp cereals can be tough for some LOs to digest. It might be worth trying just the fruit for a couple weeks and see if that makes a difference. If you think he's hungry, offer more milk. It's still very normal for LOs of this age to have 2 NFs, the only goal being that they're not closer than 4hr apart.

I'm unsure in your routine the length of his naps. There's a chance he could be getting OT (overtired) by the end of the day, esp if that last CN is only 30 min and he goes to sleep at 8 pm. Ideally at his age, LOs do about 2-2.25 hr A time with 2x1.5-2hr naps and a CN of 30-45min. Nights can be anywhere from 11-12hr.

Finally, your LO is likely going through a wonder week right now, a mental leap that's kind of like a GS in the brain. It can definitely cause disruption to sleep. Here's a little more info for you: http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/your-babys-10-leaps/mental-leap-4

HTH!

[Ferretmad]

Thanks for your reply
With regards to the weaning thing - more milk than 300ml a feed? (Either that or feed more often) I was under the impression that 250ml was the most you would normally expect in one go at this age (although guess they are all different). We did increase the milk before starting him on solids. Offering milk first sounds like a good plan though.

With regard to nap length, he tends to have his longest nap in the morning. This has been up to 3hrs, but 2hrs is more usual. We try to keep the others no longer than an hour and a half although they may be as short as half an hour. We try to take him up when we think he is tired rather than waiting for a set time, as long as he's  been up at least an hour

[katie80]

With regards to the weaning thing - more milk than 300ml a feed? (Either that or feed more often) I was under the impression that 250ml was the most you would normally expect in one go at this age (although guess they are all different). We did increase the milk before starting him on solids. Offering milk first sounds like a good plan though.

Yeah, I would just make sure to offer milk first, so he gets that as his main nutrition still.  And yes, not necessarily over 250ml, that's quite a lot in itself.  Just be aware that milk is most important still and if he's hungry, that will be what satisfies him longest.

With regard to nap length, he tends to have his longest nap in the morning. This has been up to 3hrs, but 2hrs is more usual. We try to keep the others no longer than an hour and a half although they may be as short as half an hour. We try to take him up when we think he is tired rather than waiting for a set time, as long as he's  been up at least an hour

Yes, it's good to follow cues, as all babies are different, but it's also important to keep routine/nap length in mind as it can definitely lead to NW issues.  If he's only up for a little over an hour and then sleeps only 30min-1hr, he's likely not quite tired enough to take a full nap (1.5-2hr), which can lead to OT and thus contribute to NW.  Again, just something to be aware of.

[Ferretmad]

Okey dokey thanks