All falling apart

[Jens_01]

Hello ladies. I am desperate. My lo is just over 6 months old. She started sleeping through the night months ago waking only between 4 and 5 for a feed. Her naps have been horrible always. Everyone said that at 6 months they start to sort themselves out with day sleep. Well shortly before 6 months she was able to transition or put herself back to sleep for a few days. Yay!!

Since those few days all her sleep has gone wonky.

She wakes up after around 35 min during naps and can't put herself back to sleep. Sometimes I can get her back and sometimes not. She needs the sleep as she wakes up crabby, crying, red eyes. If I hold her she will fall back to sleep so she's obviously still tired.  So help is needed here. I've extended A times, no difference. She's not overstimulated I make sure of that. No change of routine.

Now for night sleep. She's begun waking at 3 for a feed. She'd then fidgety and waking constantly until up time. I have patted and shhhed and pu/pd. Nothing works. Right now she's sleeping on my boob after being fussy since 5:45 (it's now7). She's exhausted since she's not ready to be up before 7. So how do u get her to actually sleep and not up every 15 min from 5 am onwards. I also would like her to sleep until at least 7 (seems to be her actual up time). I want to get back to the gym and would go from 5:30-7. I want to dream feed at 5 to make sure she's good until 7 but since she's so fussy she actually wakes up sO it's not a dream feed and I have to fight to get her back to sleep.

I'm exhausted mentally and emotionally from these issues. I've been pu/pd and Patton and shhhhing for MONTHS now and my back is shot from leaning over her crib and hands are raw (obviously not really) and I feel like crying and worse I started considering CIO which I don't believe in. Nothing I try seems to work.

Please help with all these issues.

[amayzie]

Hugs honey!! It sounds like something is up with the routine! Can you post your EASY up so we can have a look if it needs tweaking?

[Jens_01]

Up at 7
Breast feed
Cereal at 8:30/9
Nap 10/10:15
Up 11 (usually awake at 35 min mark)
Feed
Nap 2/2:30
Up 2:30/3:00
Feed
Cereal 5 ish
Cat nap 5:30/6
Bath/feed 7
Down by 8

[amayzie]

Ok... i'm thinking that you might need to try something a bit tricky and see how you go... Now- see if you can follow my reasoning here- i think that perhaps there are a few things at play that are linked- bear with me!!

SO- your A times are looking great for her age- BUT the naps are still crappo. The naps that are 30/35 minutes long are usually from being over tired- especially if she wakes unhappy as you describe.

She SHOULDN:T be Over tired at 6 months on 3 hours A time- EXCEPT that she is starting the day tired after the awful/restless morning. Which in some ways is an early waking.

The Early waking CAN be caused by her being not tired enough- or under tired- to stay asleep, this was always my guy (can also be over tired.. but i think it might be under tired in this instance).

I'm wondering if the cat nap is throwing things off- at 6 months and 3 hours A time you usually are on 2 naps. You aren't yet as the naps are too short- but i'm wondering if a cycle of UT/OT is being created by the cat nap? I'm WONDERING if you can try (or have you already) moving the bed time forward by 45 mins or an hour- on a day when you have those terrible naps and NOT have a cat nap and see how you go? It will result in her being tired before bed- but this might help her to sleep longer in the morning, making her rested enough to manage the 3 hours of A time and then have a good nap? We find sometimes that it's the chunks of A time in a bunch that makes them more tired..

Does that make sense?

The OTHER thing you COULD try is to pull back the morning A time a little to see if you get a better nap. She may not be able to manage the full A time while her mornings are ordinary and may need a shorter A time first up. She might be able to manage a longer A time second if the first nap is better.

[Jens_01]

I'm going to give it a try this week. Another question if you don't mind. She sees me when I come in to pat-shhhh her. Would I now be a prop? There is no way to prevent this as she's very squirmy when I go in after she's woken early.

Ok one more related to my original post. She's been consistently waking at 2 am and 3 am. I mean full on talking in bed and smiling waking. If its UT from cat nap Turing to bed early will help, if not how do I elIminate the 2 am? I feel she's probably hungry at 3 as she is still only 12 lbs, but thus feeding used to happen at 5 am ( when she was night sleeping better). 

If I move bedtime up how long do I keep it there? My only concern with this is my dh won't get to see her at all as he gets in from work around 6-6:15.

Gaaaaahhhhh why do they have to be so tricky.

[amayzie]

The 2-3am cot party is a classic UT sign- see how you go ditching the CN- this usually helps. I used to leave my guy until he cried for me- or until i decided to break up the party with a breast feed- that usually worked! So- leave her if she;s not crying by all means- but when she starts crying then feed her as she may need a feed at that time. Or- if you feel it's gone on quite long enough see if a feed will help settle her.

You won't have to move BT long- just on the days when the naps are really crappy and she;s tired. It is tricky with DH's- but it's better to have the baby in bed at an appropriate time rather than a cranky one you can't get to sleep, or one who is early waking due to being OT. It really isn't a long time that you'll need to do it- but some DHs do things like get up early in the morning with the LO and do breakfast or something with them if that fits into the schedule.

Shh- pat probably isn't a prop at this point- if you are concerned just try reducing it- in that yu can try shh-patting just till she is calm rather than right till she's asleep. In these transitions its not uncommon for them to need extra help to settle.