Ssh/Pat in arms until after the jolt?

[karebearry]

Hi girls,
Ok, so last week I posted that I was just about ready to quit with DS2.  last night I actually caved and let him fall asleep nursing in bed with me.  He hadn't slept but 30 minutes the whole day and after  numerous attempts throughout the day we both were exhausted and we both sat there and cried!
At first this morning, I decided that I would stop EASY for a month or so and try again.  My LO is 11 weeks old.

Now, I'm second guessing myself and would love nothing more than to keep it up.  
Has anyone does EASY with a twist?  like with slight variations.  I saw somewhere that someone did ssh/pat in their arms until baby feel asleep and then put them in their cot/crib.  Do you think I should give that a go?
also, I have had success (almost) in the crib at times.  I sshh/pat until the jolt and then hold him.  but he wakes...
Should I not hold him but continue the shh/pat?  also... at the jolt, if his pacifier is still in his mouth, he freaks and gets all excited again.  I've tried to remove it before the jolt, but he wakes and gets hysterical.  if I leave it, he gets bothered that it's in his mouth at the jolt mark.  it's like he's thinking what the heck is this in my mouth?


before i quit, I'd love to hear anyone else suggestions.  Thanks so much!!
**oh i should mention, that he wakes alot at night usually every 2 hours and the odd night he'll sleep 3 or 4 ** also Iam EBF and he is half swaddled as he absolitely goes crazy  - we swaddle with one arm tight and the other loose but in a loveto swaddle swaddle**

[Smurfette]

Hi there

How long his he awake for before you start the wind down?

[karebearry]

I've been starting wind down around an 1 hour or an hour and ten minutes.  we go to his room in the dark and cuddle and swaddle.  he hates the swaddle.  so i leave one arm out.

[Smurfette]

How long is your wind down? So, in total how long is he awake for-eyes open to eyes closed?

What are his first sleep cues that you see and at what point do they start to appear?

Is his room really dark for naps?

Was he born on time?

[karebearry]

The first nap seems to be the shortest, we drive my first son to daycare (he hates the car so that doesn't help).  He's usually doing a tired cry by 45 minutes.  the rest of the day (provdiding he got a morning nap) he usually is awake (eyes open) for about 1.20.  It usually takes me so long to get him to sleep that alot of times he's actually still awake for 2 hrs!
he was born 37.6 weeks.  He was small for gestational age though (only 4.5 lbs).  He's now 11 weeks and 9.12lbs.

do you think it's ok, for me to do shh pat in my arms and when he's asleep transfer him to his bed?  he seems to resent going to the bedroom and being swaddled.  so I thought, maybe he was tired yet, but when I waited a bit longer, he was harder to settle and would be up 2 hrs before getting to actual sleep.

also, does sleep time count for the first twenty minutes before he does his jolt?  or do i start counting sleep after the jolt?

[karebearry]

PS:  I really appreciate you taking the time to help me out Smurfette!

UPDATE:  This mornings nap I decided to hold him until he fell asleep.  We went to his room and swaddled, and held in upright shh/patting until after the jolt and a few mins after. then laid he down.  He slept for 2 hrs!
this afternoon I decided to try and do the same but I wasn't sure if letting him sleep on me first would create a new bad habit so... After 1.15 awake time we went to his room, I swaddled him and he didn't want to be in the dark (or that's how it seemed, he fussed) so we walked down the hallway a few times, I saw him yawn after a few mins.  went back to his room and stood there shh/patting in the dark for 15 minutes.  I then thought I'd lay him down as he was soo calm.  I laid him down and continued sshh/pat for another 5 minutes and slowly stopping.  I stayed with him and put pressure on his back until the "jolt".  But when the jolt came, he freaked.  He realized I guess that I was holding him and rather than relax, he started to fight me!  so he cried.  I gave him the soother and started again while in his crib.  He fidgited alot (i guess OT now) and I left him in a calm state as my DS1 was home I couldn't stay until his next jolt with him.  Lets see how well he does.

Question:
do you think I should for now, just shh/pat him in my arms until he falls asleep and then transfer him?
or do you think I should be shh/patting him to and through the jolt ? (whereas b4 I stopped and just put pressure/held him)

[Smurfette]

First off, I would try to keep the 2nd wake time a bit shorter to see if that helps things. Remember that everytime he gets overtired, he will need a day or two to get over that, so you want to keep that in mind.

2nd-because he is so young, I would do what you need to do right now to get him to sleep, but keeping in mind that in a months time or so, you will want to be always trying to put him down to sleep drowsy but awake in the crib.

Regarding the jolt and counting sleep time-is he asleep for 20 mins and then jolts awake? If so, then yes, I would count that as sleep time. You might want to try a different swaddle as swaddling can help some babies get through that jolt period.