3.5 year old....long standing eating issues

[marie123]

Hi, my 3.5 year old son is a fussy eater....has been since he was an infant...he is my first child and had acid reflux so would gag when i offered him textured foods....so i stuck to pureed on the doctors advice. Now at 3.5 yrs, he eats chapattis (indian bread made of wheat and i stuff it with vegs, chicken etc) for lunch and dinner, cereal for breakfast and bread and jam / peanut butter for eve snack. Apart from that he eats nothing else...except for cake, chips, chocs ( all party food). My doc says it will resolve with time and as he learns from his classmates in school. He has been in school for 6 mths now and has picked up eating party food...which believe me im happy about.

Any suggestions on how to get him to eat rice, pasta etc...things easily available while travelling. Ive tried all these but he jus twists up his face and refuses. Even if hes hungry he just sticks to wanting"chapattis". Ive put him on some vitamins, he is a little below average in terms of weight, but is generally pretty active and sleeps well (touch wood) in his own room through the night and still takes a 2.5 hour aftnoon nap. Generally apart from his eating hes a great guy....but im finding my patience running out and is affectng the way i handle him during "off meal" hours. Even meal times run into 1 hour 15 mins to eat 2 rounds chapattis. All in all a frustrating experience esp since now we have another lil one to take care of.

Any suggestions would be so welcome!

Thanks!

[~Sara~]

*hugs* I have a picky eater, too.  It's hard and slow work to get them to eat new foods.  I will say that, having been working on this for a good 6 months solid, I do see a couple of improvements, but there are no overnight changes.  FWIW, the fact that your little guy does eat veggies and chicken stuffed in his bread is wonderful (lol, what I wouldn't do for my son to eat any veggie)!!  I would focus on that when you're feeling frustrated.

I go back and forth between 2 approaches: 1) DS has to take one bite of *new* food.  He tries it, and that's all he has to do.  We did that last night with beef stroganoff.  He only ate a teensy bite of sauce--no meat--and noodle, but it was what I asked and then he got the food he wanted: a roll and some strawberries.  2) You offer a food, and that's it for the meal.  If he refuses to eat it, say that's okay, but if he wants something later on, that's what he'll get.  I will usually take this approach if he's eaten the food before and liked it.

Here's a thread that has a lot of good info in it:
http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=226012.0

[Lemonthyme]

Can you make some new foods look like the old foods?  E.g. put some rice and curry into a chappati?  Use different breads? 

There are worse things for him to be restricted to but I know that doesn't help right now.  There are some 'no added sugar' cake and muffin recipes on my blog if that will help?  It might help you feel more comfortable about that.  Or can you do other party like foods like sausage rolls?  (You can sneak vegetables in there.)

I'm lucky so far that my son hasn't been all that fussy but one thing I would say is his diet is lacking in variety but it also contains dairy, carbs, vegetables and protein.  There are some really picky kids out there who will exclude whole food groups.

I have to admit I'm pretty tough with my son when he does get a cob on about some food.  I made him (from scratch) tandoori chicken, chickpea and spinach curry, raita and naan the other day.  I knew he would like at least 2 out of the options but he blank refused to try any.  I then had a brainwave and said, "would you like a new plate?", he said yes and then he picked out which bits he wanted to try and put them on the new plate.  He ate nearly all of it in the end saying "yum" to me (apart from the naan randomly) but it would have been so easy for me to think "oh, he's not keen on the spicier food" and make him a cheese sandwich.

That said, if your child is already fussy, I think you have to tread very gently.  It can be such a power thing for them, food should be a joy not a battle.  I like the PP idea of just trying things.  I know when I was little my mum would say "try a bite, it's an adult taste" (a bit of reverse psychology, ah, I understand why you aren't keen just because you're little LOL!)

[Katet]

I was a limited eater as a child & my boys both were until about 7.5yo (DS2 still is getting there)
For as long as I can remember we have done a 5 things on a plate (actually now more like 6/7 for DS1 who is 9yo) & 4 must be eaten to get more of a "favourite" food.

So as a 3/4yo I'd put say 2-3 things I ALWAYS knew would get eaten 1-2 that would mostly get eaten & 1-2 that was new (even if if was 1/4 slice of bread, grated cheese, piece of apple, carrot stick & saltanas) as they got older it became more like a Kebab, potatoes, cauliflower, green beans & pumpkin. What i found was when they were younger if I only served about 1/2 what they needed to eat to be full, they would have to eat the 4 things so they could have more of the favourite food on the plate. So they would try the 2cm of green bean that was on the plate & then if that got eaten 3 times I'd make it say 3cm.
I also set the goal "one new food/month was a success"

The other day it was my DS1's Birthday... for his 3rd Birthday he would have wanted pasta & sausages... for his 9th Birthday he requested "lamb cutlets, potatoes, cauliflower, brussel sprouts & pumpkin"... this from the 3yo who didnt' eat any veg except in Bolognaise sauce.

So my suggestion would be he only has 1 Chippati & then put another 2-3 foods (small carrot stick, piece of apple etc) tiny amount & if he wants another Chippati he needs to eat one of the other things, once he regularly starts eating one, increase the amount of it & then increase it to 2 things he needs to eat & then maybe once week, don't even give him the chippati. & if he doesn't eat what is on offer, offer it again for the evening snack... also cut back on the evening snack too... at 3.5yo what he eats in a day isn't going to mean he wakes hungry, so be tough & "not eaten, nothing else on offer" on the odd occasion.

[Mom to M&M]

What Kate said - the same advice given by her and other lovely ladies here has been slowly working with us!