Freaking out at nap/bedtime

[bethelmom]

A little history...I have recently started using the EASY method with my 4.5 month old. Before then we did have a routine, but it was not as consistent. After reading MANY sleep books we found The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Sleep Problems and it seemed very reasonable and worth trying. Up until a few days ago she was waking MANY times during the night, but we upped her food during the day and lately she is sleeping from around 7:30-5 or 5:30, then she eats and goes back to sleep until 7. (I'm pretty sure this early wake up is a habitual waking and we are going to to try wake to sleep starting tonight) As far as naps go, up until recently she was taking 4 short (30-45 min) naps a day, now she is taking 3 longer ones (1-1.5hr) and a late afternoon cat nap. Our main issue right now is that as soon as I start her nap/bedtime routine (go in her quiet, dark room, put sleep clothes on, etc.) she figures out what is going on and flips out! She has never been easy to get to sleep but this is the worst it's ever been. It takes 1.5 hours sometimes to finally get her to sleep! She cries, sometimes screams, arches her back, kicks her legs, flails her arms, you name it. I am trying to have a consistent routine but it seems to be working against me! I haven't even begun to try p/u p/d yet! Not ready for that mentally or physically yet. Mostly trying to get rid of sleep props and get her "schedule" more on track. Sorry, this is a lot of info. Any help would be great!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, am I right your 4.5 mth old is having 3 long naps and 1 CN? If so I think she may be having too much day sleep, hence fighting BT.
Can you post yor EASY?

A lot of 4-5 mth olds are on a routine kind of like this (obviously they are all diff but it gives you an idea)
WU 6.30
A 2 hrs
Nap 8.30-10
A 2 hrs15
Nap 12.15-2
A 2 hrs15
CN 4.15-4.45
A 1.5 hrs
BT 6.15/6.30

[bethelmom]

One thing I should make clear is that we are very new to EASY, I think it's been 3 days. We were doing somewhat of a schedule before this, but mostly I was just going with her flow, and I would feed her on-demand. The other thing to clarify is that she has been freaking out at most sleep times, not just bedtime. Here is what our EASY is right now:

7 am-Wake and feed
8:30-S (this has just recently become a 1-1.5 hr nap)
10-E
11:30-S (has been around a 1 hr nap)
1-E
2:30-S (usually no more than 45 min nap, sometimes I can extend it)
4-E
5:30-S (30 min)
7-E, bath, bedtime

On a different post I ask about moving to a 4 hr EASY, as she seems to naturally still want to be on a 3 hr. She starts to get very fussy if I don't feed her every 3 hours, and she usually acts very tired after being awake for about 1.5 hours. When I have tried to keep her up longer she was more difficult to get to sleep.

One thing I tried this afternoon was having more of a "wind down" time before her nap, and then again at bedtime, and it made a big difference. I think it also helped that I was much more calm and in a good head space:)

[ZacsMumme]

No problem what is great about easy is that it isn't a schedule as such but more of a predictable routine based on you and your LOs needs.

Some LOs that are Bf do take a while longer to manage 4 hrs between feeds. You can end up with a bit of EASAES which is ok, really the purpose of EAS is to help know what your baby needs and to prevent the prop forming of feeding to sleep which can be hardto break forsome LOs

Great you have progress with a longer WD
Does our LO self settle for naps and BT usually? Any paci? Swaddle? Etc?

I would maybe try really gently working on pushing the first A time just a touch. She may be in a bit of an UT/OT loop. Often at this age they start to give tired cues when they are used to sleeping, or when they are bored, OS or need a change of scene.

Its a really tough age, short naps are common, they go through lots of developmental blips and offering more is a good way to prevent too much OT

[bethelmom]

This info is helpful as I am so new to this.

I know I will probably get some grief for this but, no, she does not get herself to sleep or settle herself if she wakes up usually. Up until recently we were pretty much always rocking or feeding her to sleep. We have mostly stopped doing both of these now, which for us is progress, but we still hold her and sometimes pat her back or stroke her head until she falls asleep. She likes to have a pacifier to go to sleep, but when it falls out during her sleep she is okay without it so I didn't think that was a big deal. My husband and I realize that the goal is to get her to go to sleep and stay asleep on her own, but I am starting back to work TOMORROW and am so overwhelmed with just that and the fact that she is about to go through such a big change that we don't feel ready to start pu/pd. Right now I am just concerned that her caregiver won't even be able to get her to take naps! I'm going to try and get her doing the same routine we are as much as possible and we'll see how it goes. I had really hoped we would have her sleeping more "figured out" by the time I went back to work, but such is life:)

[ZacsMumme]

You won't get grief for anything here and if you do, report it to the mods, there is nothing wrong with doing what you have to, to get your baby to sleep. It's just knowing that sometimes in doing you have to teach sleep later that is important to know

FWIW my refluxer slept in my arms for most naps till he was 4 mths!

So typically short naps are developmental and common with 3-6 mth olds, so even in trying to teach independent sleep, and tweak the A times some LO will just do 45 mins

Are you familiar with shh/pat? Do you think the caregiver could do this, even if itwas gradually weaning the rocking and holding by doing this in her arms, then gradually PD in the cot more awake and doing it in the cot. It is a great tool and you don't haveto listen to your LO crying which can be hardwith PU/PD
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