13 mth old and meltdowns at the dinner table!

[K4T]

We have three issues with our DD at the dinner table at the moment and I'm not sure how to handle them.

First is removing her bib before she's finished, it's not just that she'll get mucky but she looks as though she's strangling herself! She literally just pulls and yanks on it till the velcro comes apart. She's almost impossible to distract once she's got her hands on it and if we try to stop her grabbing it in the first place, she bats our hands away and starts screaming.

Second is that she's figured out she can put her feet up and push the highchair away from the table, it's a Stokke Tripp Trapp so doesn't have it's own tray and she needs to be right up to the table to eat. Again when put her legs down and pull her back in or try to stop her in the first place, cue screaming fit!

The last is washing her hands and face after the meal, she gets so worked up, huge fat tears are falling, she's drooling from the mouth and often ends up coughing. Distraction can work a little on the first hand but then she loses it and ends up in proper meltdown when we start on her face. We've tried talking calmly 'I know you don't like it but we need to get your hands clean' etc, we've tried singing, making a game of it, trying to get her to wash them herself, it all ends up the same way.

She's a great eater, we did baby led weaning from six months and she's very independent. It just seems every mealtime is turning into a battle and DD is getting so upset, we're constantly saying no don't take your bib off or no don't push away from the table, put your feet down etc then ending with the face washing meltdown.

I'd love mealtimes to be a more pleasurable experience for all of us but not sure how to tackle these problems, any ideas please?

[anna*]

Can you just change things up? Why not leave her bib off? Instead you could put on one of those coveralls, or strip her down to her nappy. Maybe even just changing the style of bib would be enough? If she's pushing herself away from the table I would say 'Oh OK you're done eating? OK, lunch is finished!' and let that be your sign that she's no longer hungry. As for the safe/hand washing, how about lifting her out of the high chair, 'airlifting' her over to the sink and letting her dabble her hands in some slowly running water from the tap while you quickly give her face a once over?

[Shiv52]

It sounds like you have stolen my baby!!!

We got rid of bibs and strip down or just eat in vests that it doesn't matter if they get stained as they are under clothes. 

If she pushes out from the table I just leave her there and then she starts trying to reach the food and we say 'ok but you have to sit nicely'....lather rinse repeat.

washing...i find giving her a wipe or facecloth and letting her clean herself (however badly!) works a treat and then she lets me finish up as i am lifting her out of the chair.

Totally normal...just a pain when its happening xx

[*Liz*]

I gave up on the bibs as well. She simply didn't want it as she could see that DS wasn't having to wear one.

I took off nice clothes, and became very good at stain removal when washing  .

What do you use to clean her face?? I was using baby wipes, but actually they are horrid for that. I started using dark face clothes that I wash and that is better. But yes, let her do it herself first, then catch a quick swipe at the hands as they run off at the end.

Feet on the table - its a phase and I wouldn't get too bothered about it. I have a stokke as well, and yes they do tip if they get really bad with it, but I just sat near and made sure it didn't.

Not at this age, but when I took the baby set off, falling off because of messing about actually helped her learn to sit still really.

I wouldn't turn these things into a battle that ends up in lots of food refusal due to power struggles  .

[creations]

I agree with anna to take the bib removal or pushing from the table as a sign she is finished eating.  She might not have eaten much but with BLW the key is baby led.  These are signs my LO has finished eating, he is full or needs the toilet.

It might be that she needs to use her nappy (if you are not using a potty yet).  Wanting to move away from food before weeing or pooing is actually a good idea when you think about it.  I would let her down form the table, check her nappy is clean, then observe to see if she uses it, change and offer to go back to the table.

[K4T]

Hi there, thanks for all the replies 

I think we'll try leaving the bib off for now, we've tried all sorts of different styles, including the coverall ones. I think she's got too fixated on it now so removing it altogether will definitely solve that one!

I'm pretty sure pushing away from the table is a game as she often eats loads more after pulling her back in. However I think we will start taking it as a finished cue but leave it a couple of minutes just to make sure she doesn't want any more. We're doing signing with her and she's just started doing her version of 'more' but hasn't susssed the 'finished' sign yet. Hopefully doing it after she's pushed away will help her understand what it means.

I'm not 100% sure on the wees but she definitely doesn't push away when she poos. She just goes still, does her poo face then carries on eating! We're going to start trying to potty train this weekend, so wish us luck!

We tried washing her at the sink but the taps are too far away and it's really difficult to hold her and wash at the same time. We use a facecloth and I think we'll start giving it to her again, then finishing her off as we lift her out. You got me thinking it could be partly because she's trapped in the chair and being subjected to it, so it might help taking her out.

Thank you again, I really didn't want mealtimes turning into a battle every time, especially as she eats so well. Fingers crossed these suggestions will help