Help! Getting bad SA issues!

[beckygatt]

DD2 is 1yr3mos. She has never been a great sleeper but was sleeping independently and had started to occasionally sttn. Since about a month ago she has had very bad SA and has been having terrible nights! It started after we went on a short trip, during which the girls stayed with my parents. She was OK at the time but since we got back has been extremely clingy with me and waking up a lot at night. She has also been teething in this time and has just cut 2 molars.

During the day she will play for periods of time on her own or with DD1, especially if I am sitting on the sofa nearby, but then she will often be very clingy, wanting to be only with me, and not even with DH. She will cry if I walk away or someone else is holding her. At night I have to stay next to her with my hand on her back, and she will wake and need me to go in. By about 11pm she usually wakes and will not settle until she is in bed between us. Then she will occasionally sleep peacefully, but more often toss and turn all night or stay  awake for an hour or two before sleeping.

I'm trying to be patient but its getting really tiring and tbh I'm reaching breaking point! I feel guilty now for leaving her for those few days but how long can this go on? She also had a cold which she is now recovering from. I thought things were getting better but she's had a couple of bad nights again and today was super cranky all day! I don't know if its more SA or more teeth but I need to do something before I lose my mind!! Any ideas?? Thanks!!

[Truly Blessed]

Hello Honey,

Ah bless you and her. We have BTDT and it is so hard, especially when it is only you that LO wants, it is so so draining  First off don't beat yourself up about having a break, you're entitled  and also she may have suffered SA at this time anyway because it is a typical age for this to happen. Of course teething and other factors don't bloomin' well help do they.

Does she co-sleep often  this can make things a little tricker  Is it something that you are happy for her to do or do  or just a sheer exhaustion way of everyone getting some sleep 

What I did with Sam was Gradual Withdrawl method (for about the 5th time  ) start to try and be hands off when she goes over and when she wakes. Sit by the cot for a while with re-assuring words when necessary and then gradually move closer to the door. LO's of this age know how to manipulate so SA can often turn into habit and them deciding that they will keep us there as it suits them and boy can they act LOL. But of course you need to be sure so taking it slowly but moving forward with a GW plan is IMHO the best way.

What do you think  Have you done GW before  I can take this ride with you to the end but just in case here is a link for you.

http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=80750.0

Vicki.x.

[beckygatt]

She never really co-slept much before, but this last month it has been the only way for us to get some sleep. We're all in our room as their rooms are really hot right now and we have AC.

I have used GW to get her back on track before but it does involve some crying and my problem is that she may wake up DD1. It will be at least a couple more weeks before it starts to cool down enough to move them back though and I'm not sure i can hold out that long Is it bad to do GW if she is teething? Last time I used it it worked really well in a couple of days, but she wasn't so clingy then

Thanks for your help!   

[Truly Blessed]

Hi,

Oh Dear the heat is bothering an awful lot of LO's and Big One's atm    I wish I had a miracle cure for you Honey but it sounds like one of those that you're going to have to ride out. I should think that GW is something for you to do when she is back in her own room if DD1 is in your room with her as well..having said that isn't DD1 being woken at the moment anyway 

Is it bad to do GW if she is teething?

It is recommended that you wait out teething or illness before doing any sleep training method, but what I was suggesting is just making a start with it to be honest, just stepping back a little and taking your hand of her back just using your voice, so you're on the right track, but again maybe that will have to wait.

How often is she actually going straight to sleep in your bed  If it's only occasionally do you think you may as well keep her in her cot and  ???APOP her back to sleep  Even breaking the co-sleeping habit now will help you to get her back on track quicker.

Please don't think I don't understand the longing to do whatever it is that gets you back to your bed quickest though!  I guess that's what you need to decide.

Is it best to break the co-sleeping habit now and start to move forward before she's back in her room 

Or is it only possible to carry on as you are until the heat subsides and everyone is back in their own room 

At least you know GW works well for her and I can assure it still works well when SA is at play, it just takes a little longer 

Could a white noise CD help for DD1 

(HUGS) for the exhaustion Sweetie.

Let me know what you think 

Vicki.x.

[beckygatt]

DD1, despite being a terrible sleeper when she was younger, actually sleeps through most of it!  . But I don't let the noise go on too long whereas it would with sleep training.

She always goes to sleep in her cot but once we go to bed if she wakes up she'll come into our bed. I did/do try to apop her back and keep her in her cot but often it will take half an hour of me leaning over her cot (and breaking my back) and still she won't settle. She seems to always have a point at around 10-11pm when she'll wake up and simply won't resettle. Last night she did this. After trying to settle her for a while I sent dh in so I could just get ready for bed. She screamed until i went back in and then spent a long time awake.

I'm not completely sure if she is teething right now. Aren't they 90% of the time anyway? 

[Truly Blessed]

I'm not completely sure if she is teething right now. Aren't they 90% of the time anyway? 

Yeah pretty much  Are you medicating as soon as she wakes up  I always do this to rule our pain as a reason for not resettling.  To be honest, the long NW IME are usually down to pain so I would definitely recommend meds asap after she wakes 

x.

[beckygatt]

I do medicate but not always convinced it works  Last night i gave paracetamol suppository before she slept. I didnt repeat right away when she woke up but when i did it seemed to settle her so perhaps i should have. She isn't very good about taking calpol orally

[Truly Blessed]

Last night i gave paracetamol suppository before she slept.

My goodness I had no idea you could get these! 

I think it's worth repeating as soon as she wakes Honey. you have nothing to lose. Is there any sign that she is waking when the meds wear off  This is always the way with Sam, he wakes around 5 hours after giving him Ibuprofen when he's teeth are bothering him 

x.

[Claudiamummy]

Hi there we are having the same issues... Illness/trip then the blasted molars..

Same SA full night rejection of dh only I will do, I exhausting but we did a form of gw it's a nightmare but it does seem to be getting there... It's hand on until settled then off when quiet, then just faffing with blanket or something on next cry on when quiet -you get the idea?

Also I would personally do max meds before bed just to try to break that 10/11pm thing...

Also is yr DD on one nap yet? We also had the 2:1 in the mix ( !!!) but dd is a bit older at 16m

Hugs, it's a bloody pain in the early hours, but I agree with pp about co-sleeping.... Trying to ease SA and break that habbit could be a mission, BUT if you are ok with it then of course do what works for you!:))

Hang in there, you are not alone x

[beckygatt]

Hi Claire

What do you mean by max meds? You mean before she sleeps or before we do? She isn't on 1 nap yet and I'm sure that is contributing too I think I should try to break co sleeping habit though I'm not sure how!! Thanks, good to know others have been through it and got over it! Or getting there

[Claudiamummy]

Sorry that wasn't clear.... Iiwm i would give max medication before she goes down, just to rule out teeth. Dd's molars have been horrific even when one bit was visible and I am convinced others are moving around.

I also got advice that the molars can contribute to sA (great!)...

At it's peak dd was waking 5-6 times a night or being awake for hours.... Thank god we were at dh parents so we had the help!!

What yr nap routine are they disturbed at all?

[Truly Blessed]

Good Luck Honey, I do think breaking the co sleeping from now forward is the best idea to be honest. There's a lot to do and when I'm feeling like I can't take any more and I'm exhausted I always need to start with a plan or I go mad.

Good Luck Honey, check in later.

x.

[Truly Blessed]

Oh and (HUGS) to you too Claire 

x.

[beckygatt]

Nap routine isn't great. She's between 1 and 2 naps. So yesterday she had 2; one from 9.30-10.45 and one from 2-3. Problem is that at 8 she was still full of beans and i had to take her for a drive to get her to sleep. She goes down much easier with a long pm A ( though probably OT by then).

Last night she woke up at 11.15 and i gave her meds right away as she was due. I tried to resettle in cot; I spent 30 mins bent over her cot but she just kept tossing and turning. Eventually she seemed to have settled so i lay down but 5-10 mins later she was up crying again. My back was aching and I was exhausted so into bed she came! I did find a third molar yesterday which hadn't been there the day before. Thinking of going to a homeopath to see if she could help

[*Becky*]

sorry, I know you don't want to hear this but I do think the co-sleeping has become a prop now. If you are ok with it then fine but if not I do think you need to just make a decision to work through it and keep her in her cot. I do understand how tough it is and with another lo in the house but you may be surprised, H can sleep through a whole heap of noise in the night, the early mornings are different but up until about 6am he is fine. Here to hold your hand as and when you decide what to do x