10 month old Spirited Baby......help!!

[cath73]

Well, after finally going to sleep at 10.20pm, I decided to let her sleep this morning and she finally woke at 8.40am!! She is much perkier today, so am hoping that she may be less OT. I put her down for her nap at 1pm and woke her at 2.30pm and am aiming to start bedtime at 6.30 pm tonight,with her being asleep by 7pm so fingers crossed.

Skatty, I know am really lucky that she STTN, she has done since 5 months old pretty much. Of course we have the occasional bad night (she is a nightmare in that if she wakes at night, it takes at least 2 hrs for her to go back to sleep )but they are usually due to illness or teething.

Hopefully now that I understand her a little better (had not done the know your baby quiz this time until now......assumed she would be textbook like her brother!) we can sort this out. Then I may have the strength to deal with her older brothers 5.30am wake ups!!!........a whole other story.........

[cath73]

OK, that did not go well

Started wind down at 6ish , and started settling her in her cot at 6.30..........after 1.5hrs of screaming whenever I left the room, I again ended up bringing her downstairs for the evening, and now DH is attempting to put her down now. Its all quiet so hopefully he's done it!
Its sooo strange, she gets beautifullly drowsy whilst feeding and then has lovely cuddles (but seems to have started biting my cheek/shoulder etc!!.......she's a feisty one!), but the moment I lay her down, she starts banging her legs, clapping(?), shaking her head from side to side, arm banging etc etc..............all this with my hand on her. As soon as i move hand and straighten up she starts crying and if I make a move towards the door, all hell breaks loose. In amongst all this she is yawning and rubbing her eyes.......so confused?!
I don't feel that I know her sleep cues at all now .

I think she is OT, seems to have forgotten how to settle herself, and has a massive case of separation anxiety......aaaaargh!!!
 Please tell me how to play tomorrow!!

[Smurfette]

Hi there, sorry it didn't go so great tonight.  Yes I agree, she is OT for sure. An OT baby will cry more and fight bedtime more than a well rested one. I wouldn't be surprised if it also amplfies the SA too.

You mentioned before that you woke her up from her nap-was there a reason for this? IIWM, I wouldn't be waking her up. I would let her sleep as long as she wants to sleep, especially on one nap.
 You know she's tired from the past few days and we know that OT takes a while to get out of as it accumulates, so one good night or one good nap won't put her in clear after several days of OT.

You can try one of two things-
a) go back to 2 naps
b) try one nap again but keep bedtime much earlier. Like I mentioned before, when moving to one nap (especially this early, many babies don't fully transition until somewhere between 15-18 months) you really need to compensate for the lost sleep and longer A times. I know it sounds crazy, but aiming for her to be *asleep* by 5:30/6:oopm will help you out quite a bit right now. It's not forever, but it will be for a bit until her body adjusts. But keep in mind she might just not be ready for 1 nap yet.

Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow!

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, agree with smurfette - it's a tough transition too.
there is a developmental leap at ~10 mths too...it won't be helping
http://www.thewonderweeks.com/index.php/about-the-wonder-weeks/your-babys-10-leaps/mental-leap-7

[cath73]

To confirm the OT, she woke at 7am really grumpy bless her. I capped her nap yesterday because I thought it would ruin bedtime ..........so today I am going to do 2 naps and let her sleep as long as she wants, and then put her down at 7pm or earlier if she needs it.
 I guess she needs to sleep as much as she can, so am going for a really short A time this am as she just looks sooo tired. Throughout all of this she has been fighting off a cold, and she's probably teething, so who knows?!

Thank you for your advice, think I need to try and step away from the situation a bit more............It has got me so wound up and anxious which is not me at all. My poor DS is getting short shrift from me at the moment, although he is being pretty naughty, think its attention seeking, but he reallyt knows how to push my buttons!
 It doesn't help that my DH works all the time and is very rarely around for bath/bedtime

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs, it can be overwhelming, if your feeling anxious then totally go with the flow for a few days, sometimes it helps to reset you all anyway and see things clearer.
Sounds like you have a good plan, you will know pretty quickly if she isn't OT if the short As give short silly naps etc.

[cath73]

Soooo, I am tentatively posting a success so far!! Her EASY today was:

7am wake
S 9.30am (45 mins)
A 10.15
S 1pm
A 3pm
7pm bedtime and asleep by 7.10pm with only minimal fussing and did not need me in room!!

Will see what the night brings so not counting my chickens yet! But a huge improvement..........thank you ladies!!

[ZacsMumme]

Great one ...hope tonight and toorrow go well

[cath73]

So I jinxed the sttn. She woke at. 1am and is still awake now at 3.35 am. I have just given up and got dh to try. He has taken her downstairs for "a change of scene" so who knows how long it will take. She has had milk, calpol but nothing.....she has always had epic nw when she does wake. Any thoughts?

[ZacsMumme]

Honestly, sounds developmental to me
hugs
I 'would' keep an eye on her tomorrow tough and see if you can gauge when She is tired for a nap ... As hard as it is! She may be tired earlier from epic NW

[cath73]

She eventually fell asleep at 4.30am ..........have to say that was a record even for her! She slept this morning till 8.30, so have put her down for her nap at 11.30 (couldn't any earlier as had appt), she's still asleep now so will let her sleep and then aim for an early BT of between 5.30-6pm.
I'm hoping that once she starts crawling/standing etc she will be more tired as she will be using more energy (although I know that brings its own new set of problems!!)
So I'm going to try and stop comparing her to my textbook/angel DS and accept that she will always be more unpredictable. I guess all I can do is make sure she gets enough sleep in the day to prevent the dreadful OT monster!!
I just don't know why she seems to need an A time in the middle of the night (if she has a NW) in order to get back to sleep, but she always has from around 10 weeks old!

[skatty]

From my experience my extremely spirited girl would have extremely long NWs when extremely OT  It is so hard to get the sleep caught up and the lack of tired signs until you have a wired little babe don't help!! When the body is tired it is flooded with stress hormone that make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. Another thing with spirited LOs is that some really are low sleep needs but many more than people realise are actually high sleep needs despite what their behavior seems to point to and if given the opportunity will sleep much more than average, that is exactly what happened with my dd!

[ZacsMumme]

I have to say, imalways though Z was LSN but now he isn't, he did need high As to settle well, but I have protect his sleep now KWiM? For us looong NW are always developmental, or pain. But as Katt said major OT can do it, and Ut...but I would think if UT you may get playing for like 1 hr...not that long

Hugs.... I would tryto use the late WU to give her a short day with BT of 6.30/7 if you can and x your fingers x

[Smurfette]

From my experience my extremely spirited girl would have extremely long NWs when extremely OT   It is so hard to get the sleep caught up and the lack of tired signs until you have a wired little babe don't help!! When the body is tired it is flooded with stress hormone that make it difficult to fall asleep and stay asleep. Another thing with spirited LOs is that some really are low sleep needs but many more than people realise are actually high sleep needs despite what their behavior seems to point to and if given the opportunity will sleep much more than average, that is exactly what happened with my dd!

Very much agree with this! My DD wasn't 'spirited' as a baby but has morphed into one now as a toddler.  However she has always been very sensitive to OT and we did 6-6:30 bedtimes for many months to keep her on track. Yes, other ppl thought we were crazy, but it meant that we had an evening to ourselves AND no more NWs.

OT can and does accumulate and it can take a while to clear up the sleep debt that occurs. If a child becomes chronically OT (not saying that yours is though), it takes even longer to get them back on track.

If you find that 2 naps and longer nights don't start to fix things, then you might also want to check into any food allergies. That is a very long shot, as most of the time night wakings are due to OT and/or not being able to self soothe.  If she didn't always have these long night wakings, then I would think it's developmental too, but if they happen frequently, then double check her routine and her ability to fall asleep independently.
If and when she wakes in the night, I would really try to keep her in the room and work with whatever sleep training method you usually use.  Hugs, hugs, hugs!!

[ZacsMumme]

Good point smurfette, our discomfort NW (long) were often down to sensitive tummy and gut digestion issues