Need advice before I Shush/pat myself into another dilemma

[Harrisons_mum]

Hi everyone

I just found the Baby Whispers book this week after my Son's naps started to get shorter and shorter and I realized that Feeding him to sleep was not the magic that I initially thought it was.

I have only been following EASY for 2 days, but I really want to check that I am not replacing my bad sleep association with another as things just seem a bit haywire.

Some background
Harry is 11 weeks old, was 7lb9oz when he was born, now 14lbs + (a big boy!) and since Sunday his naps started to get shorter and shorter.
He used to take:
45 mins Morning
1 hr45 mins afternoon
45 mins evening
Bed then feed then bath at 7pm(ish)
He woke up about 3 times in the night and every time I had to give him the breast

I was feeding him on cue (probably about every 2 hrs) and then a little suckle to put him to sleep
I started EASY on Tuesday Night and he was hysterical not getting the breast to sleep.  He will not take a pacifier, but I held it in his mouth and it seemed to calm him as I Shush/Patted him to sleep.  It took around 2hrs, but it worked!

The next day each sleep came easier and the Shush Pat time was shorter and he didn't always need the dummy, which I think is a good sign, but his naps are only lasting 30mins/40mins tops. 

I am worried that I am just replacing my breast with Shush/Pat and he is still not learning to self sooth.  I am doing it until he falls asleep... is that the right thing to do or am I just using it as a prop instead of a tool?  (He has found his fingers and will wriggle from a swaddle, sook them really loudly, but still wake up crying, so he is trying)

His night sleep was much much better last night.  Dream feed at 10pm, proper feed at 2am, Shush Pat at 5am (habitual wake up) and then slept till 6am.  So I do see the benefit, but I just want to make sure that I am not doing it wrong and giving him another wrong sleep ritual.

When he wakes up from his nap, I try to get him back to sleep, but most times we reach his next feed time, so I just give up and feed him.

He is a great baby and barely cries, so it's not that difficult for me to persevere, but I look at his wee red eyes and I feel terrible.

I hope someone can't confirm what I am doing is good and if not, shove me in the right direction.  I am frantically typing this before the wee man wakes up from another short nap..... Arghhhhhhh

Thanks guys

Suzi

[clazzat]

Sounds like you are doing great, tbh. Sh/pat doesn't become a prop because it is something that you can decrease gradually once he has got used to the new way of doing things - you can do it for a shorter period of time, or sh more quietly until you are effectively silent. Having said that, because he is falling asleep in his own bed, even with your assistance, you will probably find over time that he doesn't need you any more anyway, so you won't have to do anything major to get rid of the sh/pat help.

The only thing that I wonder about is you saying that when he wakes from naps you try to get him back off but then feed him - how long do you try for? I would be a little concerned that he is learning that if he holds on for long enough then he will get a feed so he won't want to go back to sleep - does that make sense? It is a really tricky thing when trying to get them back to sleep when you know they are going to need fed. Depending on how long he is sleeping for and how long it is till his next feed, I might be inclined to just go ahead and feed him when he wakes up (rather than trying to resettle) and then put him down a bit earlier for his next nap. You could also try feeding him before you put him down for a nap (not feeding to sleep, but a top-up feed 5-10 mins before he goes down) so that you know that he will not be hungry even if you are trying to resettle him.

[Harrisons_mum]

Wow!  Thank you so much for the fast reply.  Just put him down for another nap and we're down to less than 15mins of shush pat!!  I am so happy and even happier now that you have reassured me that I'm heading in the right direction.

In answer to your question - I normally try to get him back to sleep until the three hours have passed since his last feed.  I wonder if he maybe needs that little top up feed that you mentioned, because he is a hungry baby, but I was focusing on 3hr feeds.  Before I started this I was feeding him every 2 hrs.

I think I was being a little hard on myself too as I never put him down sleeping when I fed him to sleep, but I put him down sleepy after a burp and a wee kiss. 

I think it's amazing to have this new tool and new guidelines for his routine rather than a strict schedule (which we always ended up running ahead of)

I think its especially great to have this forum with real live help! 

Thank you

[Harrisons_mum]

Oops...  The change was actually a growth spurt   Haven't been able to keep his wee belly full today.  Poor thing.  I have been feeding him twice during every A time and three times in a row before bed.  I hope that tomorrow he wakes up back to normal, because we are both exhausted.  He is lying in his crib now moaning with his eyes half shut.  I measured him and he has grown 2 inches since his doctors visit 2 weeks ago!

I think EASY will be much 'easier' when we get past this.

Thanks again for your help and advice

Suzi

[clazzat]

Ah, yes - whenever we think we have sorted things out, a gs gets in the way! And if it's not that, it's teeth!

As I'm sure you know, just keep feeding him as much as he wants - it should only last a couple of days and then things will settle down again.

[Harrisons_mum]

An update at day 5

Spent yesterday still dealing with the growth spurt and short naps.  It really is exhausting and frustrating.  He literally fed back to back during most of his A times.  The only saving grace is that he hardly fussed!  Love my wee boy!!

I watched his 2nd nap to see what the problem was and as I suspected, the jolts were waking him.  So for the 3rd nap, I held his legs and arms (for 30 mins ) and he slept for 2 hrs!

His first nap this morning I crept in at around the time his jolts start and put my phone beside him playing white noise.  1 hr 20 mins later he is still asleep.

BW is so amazing!  What I love most is that it has inspired me to study my baby and truly understand him!  Being a project kinda gal, this is making motherhood even more enjoyable!

[clazzat]

It's always good when we find something that works, isn't it?

Glad that things are going well.