2 1/2 yo boy only wants milk. What to do?

[lidiayy]

So I am here to ask for help for my nephew. He is 2 1/2 yo and has never been a good eater, but at least had one 'decent' meal/day. 
My MIL is concerned because my SIL is not that rigid about what her little boy eats during the day -  provided that he has at least one meal per day and has plenty of milk, he's fine. Plus, he is growing up and weighting normally, so she definitely thinks there is no reason to put pressure on him.
It turns out that due to MIL's concern and taking into account that when the kids are together (they live in another city, about 100 km far away, so they only meet each other during the weekends), it's inevitable to compare their behavior.
DD1 (and so has DD2) has always had a routine, with time to eat and play. Not that I'm super rigid, sometimes especially when at MIL's, I end up feeding DD1 wherever she is. But she has a decent meal and she understands that she can't have dessert (fruit or treat) if she doesn't eat properly.
When my nephew is around, I try to feed them both, as I know this will make MIL happier.
It seems to me that the boy is jealous about his little sister (2 mo) as his mother only has eyes for the baby. But I am not sure if this is true, as my BIL said to me that whenever he's at home (she is SAHM), he tries to do whatever it takes to the boy to eat properly.
What do you think? BIL asked me to ask for help so here I am.
To me, this will only work when they set a proper routine for the kid. Any ideas? Has anyone been there?

[Bex09]

Hi there, I notice that you say he has plenty of milk. Do you know how much he is having? It could well be that he is still filling u on milk and therefore not 'needing' the solids to feel full maybe. When his Dad does get him to eat what does he do?

[lidiayy]

I think he has around 4 bottles/day (5 to 6 Oz/each).
When his dad is at home, he talks to the boy, asks what does he want to eat and normally prepares pasta.
It's the kid's choice which shape of pasta he will want to eat.
Yesterday, when we were all at MIL's house, I observed that he only ate when his daddy held him and gently offered boiled potato. It was more like a cuddle than a feed...

[Bex09]

I think that the problem is that he is filling up on milk and also a lack of routine around eating. Four bottles a day is a lot of milk for a 2.5 year old. Have a look at this link and it will give you some ideas to share with your BIL/SIL... http://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67569.0

Is your nephew still on formula or having cows milk now? It would be worth offering the milk in a sippy cup and not bottles as this may well cut his consumption anyway and increase his appetite for food. I would suggest that they only offer milk after meals (maybe at snack times) and before bed. That way he will be hungry at meal times and that will hopefully encourage him to eat more. To replace the calcium from milk maybe they could offer yogurt, cheese and milky sauces or puddings.

I think it would probably do your nephew the world of good to at least sit down at the table for his three meals a day with the family as much as possible. Maybe they could offer some foods that they know he will eat (toast, cheese, fruit??) and then the rest of his meal too. That way at least he is seeing others eat and joining in with Mum and Dad and getting used to a set eating routine. Does he feed himself at all or still being spoon fed?

If it helps I will share what my daughter's typical day is like (she is a similar age) and eats all meals at the table with us. She feeds herself all of her meal now, no help from us at all...

Breakfast - Cereal with milk on, fruit
Morning snack - Fruit and cheese cubes, sometimes a biscuit or crackers
Lunch - Sandwiches, carrot sticks, sweetcorn. Yogurt and fruit
Afternoon snack - milk to drink, rice cakes with peanut butter
Dinner - Spaghetti bolognaise, rice pudding
Bed time - milk in a sippy cup

Hope that helps a bit. Let me know how he gets on.

[lidiayy]

Thank you so much, Bex! I will definitely show BIL your DD's eating routine, hopefully he will get some ideas.
BIL works full time but I believe he can make it being at home for at least one meal with his son.
My nephew is still spoon fed. I guess he can do it by himself, if he wanted to because I've seen him eating by himself, plus he goes to 'school' part time everyday.  Since he's not been interested in eating, they tend to feed him, anyway.
I'll share this info with BIL.
Thank you once more, I'll let you know how he goes.
 

[Bex09]

No problems hun, hope it works out for them.