Separation anxiety just kicked in on return to nursery from summer hols

[Cheesypuffs]

Our DS of 14 months has always been able to fall asleep fine on his own but suddenly the same very night he returned to nursery after 1 month of summer vacation exclusively with father, mother and granny looking after him, he cried as soon as we left his room. He would sit up or perch up in his crib, look at us and cry.....is this separation anxiety kicking in? It seems to me like a reaction of leaving him 9am to 5pm with "strangers", although he is very familiar with the staff there as he has been there since 5months old.

How do we deal with it? We thought crying it out might help, but he got into such a state after 5/10 mins that he coughed so much from crying he ended up vomiting his dinner....my heart sank seeing that. We tried one of his favourite cuddly toys, Winnie the pooh....that sort of helped but he still did not settle. We were nearly 2 hours getting him to settle that night with PU/PD and stroking his tummy/back, whispering soft words that we are here for him.

I really need some advice as we have not been in this situation ever before and want to handle it right so he gets back to his falling asleep by himself again....I am sure it is a phase now he is older, wiser and has more emotions and attachment.

Thanks for listening

James

[michaeljacknnugg]

I'm guessing he's got used to being with family and going back to nursery will be a transition for him. I would go easy on him at bedtime for a while, with the aim of returning to independent sleep when his daytime has settled.

Is he happy at nursery in general? Hopefully if so he will get back in the swing of things quickly.

I'd also try to make sure he has enough quality time with you guys rather than being brought home and having to go straight to bed.

[Cheesypuffs]

Hi

I guess so...we are now 30 mins to 1 hour entering and leaving his room for him to sleep. We let him whine for several minutes then enter stroking his back/tummy or PU/PD, cuddly toy. Finally he gets off but it is definitely separation anxiety. This morning when I left him in nursery he didnt want to let go of me and I had to leave him crying with the teacher.....it breaks my heart.

During the week he is there for 8 hours a day and then only 3 hours with us before we put him to bed.

He is happy in general at nursery but when playing he doesnt like being left on his own now and is happier when the teachers are with him playing.

Any advice on how to cope with this better or any methods to make his ride smoother or is it just a question of time for him to re-adapt to the nursery?

Thanks

James

[*Becky*]

what is his nap routine like atm? Do you think there is any OT or UT going on?
I agree with pp, I think for now you need to give him some extra reassurance and see how it goes. He may just take a little time to get used to being there again.

[Cheesypuffs]

Hi

Here is DSs last week's EASY since he was back at nursery:

A: 6.30
S: 10.00 -10.30
S: 13.00 - 15.00
Catnap in pushchair 17.30 - 18.00
S: 20.30

Before starting nursery he was on 2 good naps a day of 1 hr in the morning (2.5 hrs after waking up) and 1.5/2 hrs in the afternoon (14.00 - 15.30/16.00) and BT at 20.30 at latest without fuss. He would sleep until 7.00 on most days.

I must add he is teething at the moment too. He has 2 upper molars breaking through and nawing at his pacifier. We give him medication at times for this if we see him suffering.

I know his BT might seem a little late, hence why we fit in a catnap at 17.00/17.30 but this time can not be pushed forward due to various reasons.

[*Becky*]

oh ok, glad i asked to see the nap routine. The CN needs to go hun. At this age he is way too old for 3 naps especially if his total day sleep from 2 already totals 2.5 hours.

So is 8.30pm the absolute earliest he can go to bed?

[michaeljacknnugg]

Hi again,

At this age most los are on one nap of 2ish hours. Do you think maybe he is ready to drop the morning nap?

If he is teething also, he does need you. My DS used to show v few signs during his awake time, but struggled with sleep.

[Cheesypuffs]

Hi both

He only has a catnap during the week when he goes to nursery. Because in the last week he has slept at night so badly with several NWs then an EW of 6.30am, he has managed 30 mins in the morning, 3/4 hrs after waking up and then 3 hrs later he sleeps 2 hours in the afternoon nap but this includes waking up once during it for 5 or 10 mins. When I collect him at 5pm he is irritable and rubbing his eyes which leads me to believe he is tired. The earliest we can put him to bed is 7.45pm.

[Cheesypuffs]

I forgot to mention that starting tomorrow the nursery obliges his age to be on 1 nap, which is usually around 12.30/13.00. I am worried that with his bad sleeping at the moment due to separation anxiety and teething he will be very OT by then as more than 6 hrs will have passed as A time in the morning from when he wakes up to his nap 

[michaeljacknnugg]

We had v disturbed sleep at this age too, but I do think with fewer naps there is a better chance to catch up at night.

Will the nursery wake him, or allow him to wake himself from the pm nap?

[*Becky*]

wow that is tough, DD is 15 months and she would struggle to get to 12.30pm for her nap. I guess you do not have much choice though?
Personally I think it is fine to allow an am nap....between 12-18 months is when most lo's drop their am nap, DD still has one at 15 months. Could you speak to them and see if they would allow that?
If not then you have no choice really so I would just ask them NOT to wake him from the one nap and hopefully he will get used to it.

[Cheesypuffs]

Hi

Today his day so far has been:

A: 6.45am
S: 13.00 - 15.00
Nap in pushchair 15.10-15.45
S: 20.15

Let's see what the night brings. Apart from the teething he also has picked up a cold (snotty nose and cough) so not so great and he often wakes up coughing. Any good advice for cough reduction would be much appreciated. Plenty of water helps I know.....