13w - feels like he'll never sttn

[Harrisons_mum]

My son is 13w today.  Was born 7lb 9oz and now more than 15lb.  It feels like he will never sttn.  At around 8 weeks he slept for 5hrs a couple of nights and I got excited, but now he wakes every 3hrs for the first half of the night and every 2hrs for the second part.  Every time he wakes he will take at least 1 full side (he is ebf) and sometimes both, so I am reluctant to stop feeding him.

I am trying to stick to a 3hr EASY but we are having a terrible time with 45min naps, do I just stick to feeding him every 3hrs and putting him down to sleep when he shows tiredness.

Yesterday looked like this

Awake E 6:30
S 8am
Awake 8:40
S 9:10
Awake E 10am
S 12pm (too late-overtired )
Awake 12:45
Couldn't get back to sleep - hungry
E 1pm
S 2pm
Awake 2:35 (in car so couldn't help back)
Tried to get back to sleep at 2:50 when we got home, but wouldn't fall back asleep
E 3:45pm
S 4:30 (while out walking the dog)
Awake 5:15
E 5:30
E 7
S 8
Awake 10:30,1:30,3,4:30,6

I don't do dream feed as I go to bed at 9 cos I'm so tired.

I see so many posts about there 12 week old started waking for a night feed again!  And I'm just hoping that he will drop one of his many night feeds at 13 weeks

I'm pretty sure that if I had the energy I could pay/shh him at 4:30, but he would probably wake up 45 mins later and to face another day of 4min naps and a baby who is reluctant to go to sleep, I really need any rest that I can get.

[anna*]

(((hugs))) does he go to sleep independently for naps and at night?

[~inbalance~]

(((hugs))) Wish I had more advice for you.  Some babies wake more and take longer to sttn, and that's just how they are.  I am only 3rd baby like this!  So hang in there, and try not to drive yourself too crazy.  Sleep when you can.  I hear you though, I'm completely exhausted with my 10 wk old! 

[Harrisons_mum]

Sometimes falls asleep independently but most times with pat/shh.  I used to nurse him to sleep up until 4 weeks ago.  We went cold turkey on that and I think he's doing pretty well with only a few melt downs.

He is a really happy baby and no matter how tired or how hungry he will still smile, but the NW and short naps are just exhausting.

I expressed this morning and will have dh do one night feed tomorrow night to let me try to recover a bit and give me the energy I need to help solve these sleep problems.

He just woke from the first nap lasting over 1hr in more than 3 weeks, with no help from me.  Maybe this is the start of a turn around!?

Thanks everyone.  Was feeling a bit desperate this morning

[~inbalance~]

I hope it's the start of something new for you!  My DS2 short napped until over 6mos.  DD was doing great until last week but now she is short napping too and it is exhausting, especially with two other children to deal with as well.  I was coping well with the NWings when she was napping well because I could nap, but now that I can't nap I am falling apart!  I'm right there with you.  My only consolation is knowing that it does end at some point, and one day they are toddlers and you'll forget all about the sleepless nights. 

[Erin M]

Do you feel like you're pushing him to get to 3 hours during the day to eat, or does he make it easily?  Is he a double or single sided feeder? 

The 45 minute naps are rough, my ds did that for months and months and it was so hard.  Does he fall asleep reliably anywhere - like in a swing or something?  Sometimes when they wake after the 45 minute mark, it's so much easier to put them in a swing and let the nap continue there.  How does he wake from the 45 minute nap?  Is he crying or is he happy?  I hope that hour long nap was the start of better naps for you!

There's also a growth spurt around the 12-13 week mark, just so you know.  You could have been in the middle of that. 

[Harrisons_mum]

Hi Erin. Thanks.  I think I had the GS at 11 weeks.  I was tring to feed him 2.5 hrs, but I think that made him snack, so now I'm getting back to 3 hrs.

It seems like he's forgotten how to sleep, never really was a good sleeper, but now even the reliable places like the super market have not induced sleep the way they used to. 

The only thing I have found that works is rocking him on my knee, which I'm doing as I type another 45 min nap.

When he wakes up @45 mins he give a horrible high pitched cry that I used to mistake for hunger, but when I nursed him he would fall asleep, so now ive committed to rocking him.

I'm hoping dh giving him a bottle tonight and tomorrow will make waking up less appealing as no mummy hugs

[Erin M]

I'm hoping dh giving him a bottle tonight and tomorrow will make waking up less appealing as no mummy hugs

Sometimes that does it. 

The 3-4 month time is a really rough one sleep-wise.  It sounds like he's getting much more aware of his surroundings and having a harder time falling asleep.  Have you done the BW "Know Your Baby" quiz?  What kind of temperament is he?  What does you A time look like?  He could just be overstimulated before going to his nap, making it harder to sleep.  My dd1 was constantly overstimulated those first few months, it was like just being awake was too much for her!  What does your winddown look like?  He might need a longer/different one. 

[Harrisons_mum]

So the bottle won't work yet.  He took it a couple of times at around 6 weeks but tonight was a no go.  I'll need to read some tips on how to make that work.

He's never been a baby that will just fall asleep, he has to be sent to sleep.  I'm the same way.  I have to consciously say... Ok, I'm going to sleep now, so maybe he gets that from me.  Mum said I was a rubbish sleeper too.

I think I may have an idea about his NW.  I noticed today the he is nursing very lazy in the day and I wonder if he is dozing on the breast during the day because of lack of sleep and then at night, when he's feeling rested he can get the calories he needs.  He feeds very enthusiastically at night.  So if I can help him with naps and keep him awake for feeding maybe the nights will get better??

Erin - I try to keep his A time quite low key.  He loves his activity may, so when I put him on that it's only for 10mins at the start.  I give him tummy time, which exhausts him, and sing to him and we go out for walks with the dog.  Believe it or not, when I did the quiz he fell between angel and textbook, with a little bit of spirited.  He's always happy and even when he's crying I can make him laugh, but the sleep issues are just getting us both down

For the wind down, we lay on my bed for 5mins and I let him babble to me, then go to his room and I sit with him on my knee (have to face outwards as otherwise he tries to latch on and gets upset) and I sing him a lullaby.  The I lay him in his cot, close the curtains, turn on his mobile, swaddle him and stand with him till the mobile finishes.  Then I let him try to fall asleep himself (he's managed 2 or 3 times) but if he starts to get upset, I step in and pat/shh begins.  The windown takes about 15mins. 

I was sick a couple of days ago and took him to bed with me for naps and nursed him to sleep when he woke and I'm paying for that now.  It's like I had to start all over again.  He does fall asleep independently when he wakes at night.

Wow that was a lot of typing for an iPhone!!

[Erin M]

Wow, that really was a lot of typing for an iphone.

OK, your winddown and A time looks nice and low key for his age, so I don't think that's the problem.  That's a good theory about the poor feeding later on in the day.  Improving his naps will definitely help there, maybe a cluster feed in the late afternoon?  Is he one that will take it?  I had 2 that would always latch on and nurse and one that had to be good and hungry before she would even consider it. 

[LF16]

My LO is now 14 weeks and i only started introducing the EASY routine a few weeks ago. We have a very similar day routine, allthough it previously went wrong in the afternoons, and she usually wakes twice at night. I'm trying to stretch out the naps to hit the target of 3 hours with difficulty, but have come across a few points in the BW problems book:

-I assumed DD was feeding well as she is quick (I assumed quick let down), but have discovered she may just be snacking, so can't make it 3 hours. now I'm trying hard to keep her feeding longer.
-I've tried to keep her calm and resting in her cot, if not too upset, even if not asleep to keep to the approx 3 hour window. Mixed success so far, but it's getting easier.

Last night I was only up once about 2ish, not sure if it's a fluke or not, but I feel a lot better knowing what roughly comes next, and we haven't had a big over-tired meltdown since being more consistent.

Hope it's getting better for you.

[Harrisons_mum]

Hello

Thanks for the reply and support

Harrison is doing a lot better now.  I was right that the 45 min naps were killing us.  I spent a few days doing anything that I could to extend his naps (mostly rocking him on my knee for the remainder after he woke.  Mostly rocking him.  As if like magic he is now having at least 1 and normally 2 long naps each day

I really believe that he thought his routine was a 45min EASY! Hehe. Because he is more rested, he is feeding better and I just had him weighed and he's doing amazing!

The night before last he only woke once for a feed (woke again later with painful gas, but for the first time ever didn't want to feed) but last night we were back to every 3 hours. 

I am still struggling with getting him to go to sleep tho.  He was doing so well at the start, but now he normally resists pat/shh for the first 10 mins and I have to rock him to calm him down and try again.  Sometimes all he needs is a couple of pats and he fall straight to sleep.  I think it's down to timing, OT/UT, and hopefully once our schedule is more consistent I will be able to fine tune that.

It's so funny tho... I'm sure once we get this schedule perfect they'll be ready to move onto a 4 hr EASy!! Hehe

Hope your EASY day is going well today

[Erin M]

I was thinking timing as I read your post, glad you're thinking along the same lines!  The 3/4 month mark is really hard as far as sleep is concerned.  Keep pressing on, it will all come together eventually!

[Harrisons_mum]

is it normal for them to be so resistant to sleep at this age?  It almost seems like he's frightened of the process.  I'm just having trouble getting his from fully awake to drowsy.  Once he's drowsy it's a doddle, but getting him to switch off is a fight.  Doesn't matter if he's OT or UT its hard either way.

[Erin M]

Well, it definitely was for 2 out of my 3.  I had one that was generally a good all around sleeper and I had two who fought sleep tooth and nail at that age.  My first was tough the first 4 months or so, then started sleeping through from the df from about 4 months (lucky me, I had no idea!) -- she wasn't a particularly good teether though and had a ton of ear infections her first year so despite growing into a good sleeper, we did do a lot of APOPing.    My second was a decent sleeper, especially at nap times.  My third was completely day/night reversed in the beginning and fought sleep really hard those first bunch of months.  He had a night feed until 11 months (though it became an easy nf, just nurse and go back to sleep) and since about that time, he goes down independently for all his naps, STTN unless he's sick or teething (and still does anyway despite that sometimes) and takes lovely long naps.  So, have hope, it really does get better!  You have to think of it as really just laying a foundation now, it might not "stick" right away, but the pieces will all come together.