Author Topic: Not interested in breakfast - *happy update pg 3*  (Read 6628 times)

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Offline Hedgehog17

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Not interested in breakfast - *happy update pg 3*
« on: September 04, 2012, 08:34:01 am »
Everything seems to say that kids need to eat a good breakfast in order to have energy for the day blah blah..

But nearly 2yo DS doesn't want to eat breakfast  :( When he gets up he'll chug down a load of water, then we sit him at the table and the battle begins...

This morning he had 1 cornflake (yes - ONE) and 3/4 of an Ellas fruit & veg pouch under much protest. "No. No! Finished. Finished!"  while batting at the spoon and pushing his chair away from the table. So I let him down.

This is our only meal we eat together, but I don't get to eat my breakfast as I'm too busy trying to persuade DS to eat his.. after he gets down I have to put the TV on so I can eat my breakfast otherwise he's at the table pushing cars into my bowl and generally trying to get my attention  :(

After a reasonable gap he'll get 4oz milk and his vitamins - he likes those! He'll usually eat very well at lunch and reasonably well at dinner, but breakfast is just terrible  :(

I must admit I was never a breakfast fan until my mid 30s so I can understand that some people just don't want to eat then, but I know it's not healthy for a kid.

How can I help DS to enjoy breakfast  ???
« Last Edit: October 01, 2012, 12:24:50 pm by Hedgehog17 »

Offline Papaya

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2012, 09:07:06 am »
Could it be that's it a bit early for him - would he eat it if you just offered it half an hour later? F always wants to be straight into her toys when she gets up and doesn't generally have breakfast until she's been up for at least an hour or so (she does still have a morning BF though).
 
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Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2012, 13:17:50 pm »
I agree with Papaya, the timing just may not be right.  DD doesn't eat breakfast until 45min or so after she gets up.  If I try to give her breakfast right away she doesn't eat much.  What if you gave him his 4oz of milk when he wakes up (DD gets a cup of milk when she wakes up while she watches a tv show) then put off breakfast until you would normally be giving him his milk?  So switch it up and see if that helps?

Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2012, 13:44:52 pm »
Thanks ladies  :)

DS usually wakes between 7.30 and 8am, up at 8-8.15am, and then he gets breakfast at anywhere from 8.30 to 9.00am. He certainly isn't going straight to the table, as we have to feed the cat first anyway, and get everything together!

I can try giving him his milk first, but I'm worried he won't eat at all then  :( He stopped getting milk before food at 13mo as he wouldn't eat properly and that was what we were advised to do..

He's always been a very un-hungry child - he demands drinks or sleep, but never food  :( I've seen plenty of babies screaming for their milk and toddlers hassling for a snack, but my DS never has  :-\

I'm pretty sure he'd eat more if I let him have breakfast in front of the TV, but this is not really a habit I want to start! I do sometimes put the radio on (Classic FM) and he can look at all his paintings and drawings hanging up, but he still wants to mess around and play more than eat  ::) I must confess that I find eating pretty boring, so tend to either have the laptop on or watch TV at night  :-[ I suppose I shouldn't expect DS to find it fun when I don't either  :-[

At least he's done teething (final molar is 85% through) so that's no longer an issue  :)

Offline barbaraz78

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2012, 14:02:44 pm »
My DS is a good eater but has periods in which he doesn't eat much at breakfast. I insist sometimes, but there is not much I can do when it happens. I also don't want to start a TV habit during meals so I always avoid TV while eating. What it helps (and I am not against to) is to put his music on (like baby songs) that I sometimes sing during the meal. He loves music, so he is much happy to sit at the table if we listen music he likes and is distracted by it.
Barbara


Offline Papaya

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2012, 14:43:46 pm »
Would he drink a smoothie in place of his usual milk? So fruit, milk and yoghurt blended, and if that goes down ok you could try adding in a spoon of wheatgerm etc.
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Offline skatty

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2012, 15:18:29 pm »
My dd isn't and has never been a breakfast eater either unless it happens a few hours after she wakes up! Smoothies have been a life saver and only now she has started school has she started to take breakfast a bit more seriously. She definitley prefers a  breakfast like  greek yoghurt with honey and sprinkled with a few berries or seeds than cereal, bread, toast etc. I think it is a good idea to look at DS's intake over a whole day, since she was little my dd has only really eaten a decent amount one time a day!
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Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2012, 08:59:10 am »
 :'( Another miserable morning  :'(

I limited his water before breakfast, so he couldn't fill up on that. Got my and his breakfast on the table, sat him up and asked him if he'd like cereal or veg pouch first. He chose cereal, and ate 1 or 2 multigrain hoops. Then started throwing so I took them away, telling him that we do not throw, and food goes in the mouth.

Next I offered his veg pouch and he ate 3 or 4 spoonfuls, while playing with his (nearly empty) water cup. Then he dropped the cup on the floor and refused to eat any more  :(

I let him down and ate my cereal. He was bugging me constantly, pushing his toy car into my arm and bowl  >:( I had the radio on in the background, but he just wanted my attention  :-\

Once I finished my cereal I offered him his milk, and that went down in one  :) Then he had his vits, then I offered him an oaty bar and he had about 1/4 of a big bar in a few small bites, then started spitting it out  >:(

So that was breakfast  ::)

I don't know if he'd take a smoothie, as it has to be dairy-free or made with his special formula milk as he's MPI. He can tolerate 1 goat's yoghurt per day so I could always give him that for breakfast, but as I rely on that to get some protein into him at dinner if he won't eat his main meal, I'm a bit reluctant...

Tomorrow we have to leave the house at 8.15am as it's our first day at P&T group at Montessori. I'm wondering If I should just skip breakfast and see if he'll eat at snacktime (about 10.15am) instead?

Offline Papaya

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #8 on: September 05, 2012, 09:15:20 am »
Does he get any one-on-one time with you before breakfast? It does sound a bit like he's trying to get your attention - do you think it might help if you spent 10 mins doing whatever he wants to do first? Is his breakfast usually the same as yours? F eats best if she's having the same as us.

F will down a banana-coconut milk smoothie in about 2 mins (she's MPI too) - might be worth a try? Can be drunk quickly and leave plenty of time for playing with cars ;D Otherwise, it sounds like he eats fairly well at other meals - so long as you offer him something healthy in the morning I don't think I would worry too much if he declines and just try for a substantial morning tea instead. Sometimes F barely touches her breakfast, but then she will be ready for a good morning tea around 9.30/10 - usually sugar-free muffins/pancakes or crackers, and fruit.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2012, 09:32:06 am by Papaya »
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Offline Lemonthyme

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #9 on: September 05, 2012, 11:46:07 am »
I know my sister had to limit water at meals with her daughters so that they'd eat so they had it afterwards.  Maybe he's just not a big morning eater.  Some people aren't.  My son will eat best at breakfast time (on nursery days he regularly has cereal and toast at home and then cereal and toast at nursery) but lunch and tea are always smaller.  I think it's just him.
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Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2012, 12:12:12 pm »
I don't know if this would help but I have a rule that DD doesn't leave the table at mealtime until we are done.  I usually only enforce it at dinner time, but you may want to consider something similar for breakfast time so that YOU can eat in peace and show him how important mealtime is :)  Sometimes DD will ask to go down at dinner but we let her know that mommy and daddy aren't done eating so we are all going to stay at the table, then she finishes her dinner, lol.  I do have a toy or two that I let her have at the table in case she truly is done and is bored by our conversation.  I would say maybe play with him a bit more before breakfast and then at breakfast ask that he sits until everyone is done eating ???

Offline barbaraz78

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2012, 12:53:34 pm »
Another thing that I guess works to keep DS entertained at the table (so he doesn't want to go down) is keeping the conversation with him, just speaking about the day (at dinner) or singing a song with him. If he amuses himself, he stays at the table and eats more. If he wants your attention, it could be worth trying to give him all attention he needs when you both are at the table, but explaining him that, on the other hand, you can't play with him or give him much attention if he decides to go down, because you are still eating. So, I guess, he can realize that to have mummy's attention it is better to sit at the table
Barbara


Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2012, 13:03:54 pm »
Even worse morning  :'(

I gave him his milk first, then he had half a small spoon of cocoa pops and about 3 spoons of fruit puree. And that was it  :(

At school he was so absorbed in working with the Montessori materials that I could hardly persuade him to even sip some water. Eventually I told him it was snack time (somewhat against the principles as we're supposed to let the child decide) and sat him opposite a little girl who was eating her snack, hoping that might encourage him...

He ate 1 small oaty bar, then took one bite of the other and flung it  >:( I retrieved it and fed it to him in small bites!

DS can push his highchair away from the table when he wants (been doing this since before 12mo  ::)) so I can't actually make him stay at the table unless I jam him against the wall.. once he's had enough the food and drink tend to get flung - sometimes after only 1 bite  :o

I do talk to him, but then he starts chattering away and won't eat as he's too busy talking  ::) Any toys or games at the table and again his interest is totally taken from the food, so I don't do that.

Although he had a great time at school this morning, I felt pretty sad as all the other LOs are bigger and more energetic than him (they are all around his age, some younger). DS is totally happy to sit and do work, but once we went outside he didn't really do much without huge encouragement and certainly wasn't running around  :'( If only he'd eat then he'd grow and have energy  :'(

I'm seriously wondering if I should just not feed him and wait and see if he asks for food  ???

Offline Lemonthyme

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #13 on: September 07, 2012, 08:35:01 am »
I think either way will probably work if I'm honest but it's just whether it fits in with you.  We have quite a strict routine in a way:

BF: 7ish
Snack: 10ish
Lunch: 11:30ish
Snack: 3ish
Tea: 4:30ish

BUT if he asks for food slightly earlier, he gets it, if he says he doesn't want a snack, he doesn't have it and if he only wants 3 mouthfuls of tea, that's all he has.  I suppose the  Montessori method of waiting till the child asks and being completely child led is an extension of this but then what happens at weekends or family meals?
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Offline barbaraz78

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #14 on: September 07, 2012, 11:03:57 am »
BUT if he asks for food slightly earlier, he gets it, if he says he doesn't want a snack, he doesn't have it and if he only wants 3 mouthfuls of tea, that's all he has.

We do more and less the same, even if we give him an additional snack sometimes if he asks when we are out and about. So, meals are at the same time (more or less) and he is asked to sit and try things in his plate. But then he chosed how much he wants to eat. He is not having much at breakfast as well in thie period. But if he eats well in the other meals I wouldn't worry too much. If he drinks milk, I think it is not bad as morning starting. Then you can offer a snack 1-2 h after? We often don't have much more than milk or yogurt in the morning...
Barbara


Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #15 on: September 07, 2012, 13:45:45 pm »
Slightly better this morning - I ate my breakfast at the table and let DS do what he wanted - which was to watch Cbeebies on the sofa  ::)

He showed no signs of hunger and didn't ask for food, so at 9.40am I switched off the TV and told him it was breakfast time! He ate almost 3/4 of a piece of (free from) bread & butter, most of an Ellas fruit & veg pouch, then had his milk. He asked for more milk but I didn't give him any, he got his vits  :)

Lunch at 12.30pm he wasn't hungry, but managed most of a veg & lentil pouch then a banana & blueberry pouch. He ate 1 & 3/4 biscuits but threw the last 1/4 so I told him lunch was over  >:( He then asked for more biscuit but I said it was dirty as it had been on the floor  :P

I think if I hadn't dragged him to the table this morning he'd have happily gone without breakfast  ::) He's only interested in playing and not at all in eating  >:(

We just had a letter asking us to make an appointment for his 2 year review with the HVs... I have no idea what I'm going to say about his eating and they are bound to be down on me about his growth (or lack of) so I'm dreading this  :'(

Offline barbaraz78

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #16 on: September 07, 2012, 16:58:14 pm »
Happy that today was better HH! Maybe a late breakfast is what he needs.
Try not to stress too much and go with the flow. Easier said than done, I know...
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Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #17 on: September 07, 2012, 17:52:33 pm »
DS is totally happy to sit and do work, but once we went outside he didn't really do much without huge encouragement and certainly wasn't running around  :'( If only he'd eat then he'd grow and have energy  :'(
Do you think maybe if he was more physically active that he would eat more?  Maybe it isn't that he doesn't have energy because he doesn't eat much, maybe it's the other way around...he doesn't eat much because he doesn't use up the energy ???  Just a thought.

Re: Toys at the table, I don't keep the toys in DDs vision during meals, so they don't distract her.  I just have a couple of toys that are table appropriate, and I decide when she gets them.  If she asked for them instead of eating she certainly wouldn't get to play with them at the table.  I've pulled out books for her to look through if she's done with her meal too, just to keep her at the table so she understands that we stay sitting until everyone is done...maybe a book would keep him at the table so you could eat?

I wouldn't be too worried about him not eating at montessori.  DD wouldn't have eaten either.  If playgroup or something is in the middle of snack time I bring a car appropriate snack for her to eat after we leave because I know there is no chance she will eat with all the other stuff going on.

Offline clairebear79

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #18 on: September 07, 2012, 20:48:10 pm »
(((hugs))) HH it sounds like things are still tough in the eating department for you.  As you know we've had issues too (although at the other end of the day), so I know how stressed out it can make you feel.  I do have to say reading your posts there are a few things I would do:

I limited his water before breakfast, so he couldn't fill up on that

IIWY I would completely cut out the water before his breakfast.  I don't think limiting it is enough, even a small amount will fill up a small tummy & kill his appetite for food.  Same goes for offering drinks before other mealtimes.  Once he's eaten at least half his breakfast you could put it on the table, or perhaps wait until he has finished & just give him his milk.

WRT this:

Next I offered his veg pouch and he ate 3 or 4 spoonfuls, while playing with his (nearly empty) water cup.

and this:

He ate 1 small oaty bar, then took one bite of the other and flung it   I retrieved it and fed it to him in small bites!

Can I ask - are you spoon feeding him the veggies?  Do you usually spoon feed at breakfast or does he feed himself?  And does he usually feed himself at snacktime?

Do you think some of the resistance is because he wants to be a bit more grown up now ???  Perhaps giving him a little more independence with his meals i.e. self feeding, choosing what cereal he wants (from a choice of 2-3) etc would help.  Also where does he sit for his meals?  Recently we switched O from his highchair to a booster seat, & I think that's helped to make him feel grown up.  A kids table & chairs can also work really well.

I also really would consider completely cutting out the pouches fruit/veggie purees - I know you are so worried about him not eating enough but these are baby foods & he is a toddler hun.  You need to show him how to eat like a toddler.  This includes eating whole & solid foods & letting him eat by himself. 

I do talk to him, but then he starts chattering away and won't eat as he's too busy talking
One thing that has REALLY helped is to put his bowl & spoon infront of him, sit down with your breakfast too (so leading by example) & say nothing, just eat.  Don't talk to him about his food, don't say 'mmmm this is yummy' etc.  If he messes with his food, don't try to distract, coax or cajole him into eating it.  If he pushes it away I would take it away without question & that is the end of the meal. 

WRT his milk, I understand your reasons for wanting to keep offering it, but I still wonder if that is contributing to his overall lack of appetite.  I found with my DS we got to a point where he would refuse breakfast & cry for his milk (and get it) & it felt like he was using that as a substitute for his solids.  It was at that point we cut the morning bottle out.  After a few days he'd forgotten all about it & started to eat a much better breakfast.  If you do want to continue for now, I def would stay as you are & do solids first, then milk, or I think you'll just get a repeat of yesterday.

I hope that doesn't sound harsh.  I do think though if you want to see some real improvements, tough love is sometimes what's needed.  He will not starve.  He WILL eat if he is hungry enough.

xxx

Offline Papaya

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #19 on: September 08, 2012, 06:01:24 am »
More hugs from me! I have to say, I have been thinking along similar lines to Claire. I don't really understand exactly what the pouches are that you're talking about :-[ but if those are purees I wonder if it's partly that they are a bit boring for him?? He might be more interested in whole foods that are the same, or at least look the same, as what you are having.

Does he use his own cutlery - maybe you could go shopping together and he could pick out a set of toddler cutlery himself, and a new plate and bowl, to give him a bit more ownership over the eating process?

Agree about having choices as well - F chooses which bib to wear, and between two toast spreads, two types of fruit etc. She often has a choice of snacks at morning/afternoon tea as well. If we are going out, I will sometimes give her the choice before we leave and she helps me to pack it in the bag.

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Offline Lemonthyme

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #20 on: September 08, 2012, 07:46:14 am »
We just had a letter asking us to make an appointment for his 2 year review with the HVs... I have no idea what I'm going to say about his eating and they are bound to be down on me about his growth (or lack of) so I'm dreading this 

Don't worry!  HV are there to help you!  This is exactly what they're there for, not to judge you!  I'd keep a log of what he's eating and discuss it with her. 

I have to admit I'd not twigged he was around 2.  My son stopped eating purees at about 9 months.  Could you just offer what you're eating?  My son also just has milk first thing and before bed unless he's having an especially hungry day.
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Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #21 on: September 08, 2012, 09:26:21 am »
Yes, I'm afraid it's stage 1 baby purees I'm offering him  :-[

We have tried giving him cereal in a bowl with a spoon. He will mash it around, drop it off the spoon, tip the bowl upside down, and fling the spoon to the floor. Anything but actually eat it  ::) And this is dry cereal - he screws up his face in disgust if there's any milk in with it  :P

He will eat finger foods up to a point - this morning he ate some bread and butter (cut into cubes) again, but less than he ate yesterday  :(

Dinner he can eat with a fork (if he feels like it), yoghurt he can eat with a spoon (again if he feels like it). Often he'll say "Mama do" or "Dada do" as he's too lazy to feed himself  ::)

We started with BLW at 6mo and he's always been given pieces of 'proper' food to chew, but it took him a very long time to work out how to do this without gagging (he was over 12mo)  :( Now he just can't be bothered to chew things properly - it's too much effort and so he tries to swallow things too soon, gags and spits them back out.

His high forceps delivery caused problems with his latch and I don't know if this is causing problems with his chewing now  ??? He certainly hasn't ever managed to eat on a 'normal' baby timescale - he was about 16mo before he'd reliably eat a stage 2 pouch (mashed texture, from 7mo+). He still won't eat stage 3 (small lumps, from 10mo+).

If I gave him a bowl and spoon and let him get on with it, chances are it would end up being tipped all over the table and mashed around, while he proudly declares "I'm making a mess!"  ::) Food given on a plate is frequently tipped off. Food given on the table is often flung. These are all problem usually seen in a much younger child, but he's never been sufficiently motivated by food to want to eat it instead of play with it. Hence I have resorted to spoon-feeding him purees and keeping up his milk intake to keep him alive  :(

His morning milk is only 4oz - most kids would have that much on cereal! It's being given after the meal. Re water - he begs for his cup when we go downstairs and cries for it if he's sat down and we attempt to give him food first  :'(

Once the last 1/4 of his final molar has come through (it's taking its time..  >:() I'll give offering only proper food a try and see how he goes. I'm also willing to cut down on his milk after his 2nd birthday. We need to do another dairy trial just after he turns 2yo as well, so we may be able to add cheese to his diet if all goes well as that would certainly help - most kids can't resist grated cheese  ;D

I'm sorry I'm not coping with his eating issues very well - it's just that the spectre of his FTT at 3-6mo still haunts me  :'(

Offline Lemonthyme

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #22 on: September 08, 2012, 09:50:13 am »
Don't worry.  I think this is definitely worth talking through with your HV.  It could be to do with his previous issues it could be just that he's got used to the smooth stuff and 2 year olds are obstinate little monsters sometimes (my son is 2 and flits between being fabulous and plain evil!)  They are honestly there to help you and your worrying about all this proves you're a good mother.
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Offline skatty

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #23 on: September 08, 2012, 10:00:14 am »
(((hugs))) HH. I wonder if you should just put down a big plastic sheet under the high chair and let DS get on with it? All kids go through the stage of experimenting and playing with their food, it is a developmental stage and if they don't do it at 12 months or whatever they will do it whenever that stage arises  :P Does he like fruit? Maybe some a chopped up fruit salad would appeal. He is definitely heading for the age where he will assert his independance more and more and one way of doing this is with food because as you have seen, you cannot make a kid eat! What does DS like to eat for dinner? Breakfast doesn't have to traditional breakfast foods like toast and cereal, could he have leftovers if it is something he likes?
Katt






Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #24 on: September 08, 2012, 11:28:20 am »
I think what everyone said about the booster seat at the table and big boy plates and utensils and moving away from the purees will make a huge difference.  Maybe he's acting like a baby (asking you to feed him, throwing food etc.) because the situation/environment/circumstances are the same as when he was a baby.  And, I agree with Katt, put some plastic down and let him go for it...within reason I think. 

What are the consequences if he throws his food?  I think you need to work on improving that behavior, because it's getting him exactly what he wants, to have you feed him or get down from the table to go play...

DD will sometimes throw her utensils if she is frustrated or if she wants our attention, so we take her utensil that she's thrown away from her (all her food she can eat with fingers anyway) and explain that even though we know she is frustrated or wants our attention we do not throw things at the table.  Can't really take his food away though can you ???  Maybe take it away temporarily to explain that you understand his feelings and why it's wrong to throw food and ask if he's ready to eat like a big boy?

I think it will make a huge difference to change the whole eating environment so that he is eating like a big kid, and I think you need to have it set in your mind that you expect him to eat like a big boy.  And don't be afraid to tell him what you expect him to do at mealtime, how you expect him to behave, and what you expect him to do with his food...When DDs behaviour is not what I expect for her age I let her know! 

Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #25 on: September 08, 2012, 12:27:53 pm »
Sigh  :( I tried!!

Lunch was wafer-thin chicken pieces - which he gobbled up, then asked for more  ;D Then I squirted a fruit pouch into a bowl and gave it to him with a spoon. The bowl got upended - fruit puree all over the table  :P

So I scraped it back into the bowl and tried again, but he refused to pick up the spoon and would only eat it if I spoon-fed him  :( I asked him if he'd like to do the spoon, but he flapped his hands at me and said "Mama do the spoon!"  ::)

After that he managed a couple of puffed multigrain snacks and the rest were swept off the table  :'(

Yes, he's eating like a 12mo  >:(

In terms of consequences, well, short of removing the food and giving it piece by piece, or taking him down from the table, there aren't any. I get him to help me clean up the floor but he thinks it's a fun game, and he'll do a bit, then it's "Mama do!" again...

I've been doing my best to encourage him to be civilised at the table and to feed himself for almost a year, and he's barely any better now than he was at the start  :'(

Re our HVs, I'm afraid they had me in tears on many occasions when DS was a small baby, as they could only criticise and not help me with the fact that he wasn't gaining weight. They hadn't heard of reflux or MPI  >:(

Offline Lemonthyme

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #26 on: September 08, 2012, 12:37:52 pm »
It might be easier to start with other foods than purees for self feeding.  My son got good at self feeding with foods like mashed potato because it sticks even if you turn it upside down. 
Here's my blog which is focussed on simple food for babies, toddlers and families http://mamacook.blogspot.com/

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #27 on: September 08, 2012, 14:26:10 pm »
It does sound like it would be investigating whether there's an underlying medical issue too. Frustrating that your HVs aren't any help - how about your GP?
*Nuala*










Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #28 on: September 08, 2012, 19:06:13 pm »
I would say, if he can't use a spoon without upending the bowl and acting like he's a baby, then just give him finger foods, forget about the purees and stuff he needs a spoon for.  You said he ate his chicken well, so I'm sure he won't starve if you cut out the purees.  And set clear standards for what happens at the table and stick with it :)  You can go back to the spoon stuff when his behavior at the table is better. 

DD has been using a spoon since she was eating solids (she didn't even want me to spoon feed her rice cereal or purees at 7 months old) and she "mastered" it about 7months or so later...so it's not going to be something that he learns quickly, he'll need lots of practice :) but first I think he'll need to be at the point where he can behave appropriately with the spoon in his hand ;)  How do you think he would manage with a fork?

Offline clairebear79

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #29 on: September 08, 2012, 20:12:20 pm »
More (((hugs))) I totally understand your worries, esp given his background & the FTT at 3-6months.  My health professionals weren't much use with the whole reflux & MPI thing either, there seems to be an awful lot of ignorance about it, which can make it so hard for us mummies.  Can I ask, where is he at now?  i.e. what does he weigh?  Has he put on any weight in the last year?  I was worried because my DS has only gained 1lb in the last year (25lb at age 2) & he has dropped down the centile charts from 91st to 25th centile but you know what, the HV wasn't worried at all.  She said she'd be more worried if he was still up at 91st.  It is totally normal for LO's appetites to decrease dramatically & for weight gain to slow as they become toddlers & they will balance it out so some days may eat very little & other days eat like a horse.

I def agree with the other ladies, I think you need to get some plastic sheeting down, give him his meal & let him loose on it.  Whether you start off with just finger food or whether you keep offering cutlery is up to you.  IIWY I'd probably give the spoon, expect there to be some mess & don't reprimand him for it unless he is deliberately throwing his food.  Like Tinkerbell says you need to set your stall out & show him whats expected & stick with the exact same approach over & over.  I also think you need to give it some time - its not going to change overnight, but if you take a whole new approach, with a bit of time, he will get there.

Often he'll say "Mama do" or "Dada do" as he's too lazy to feed himself 

If he asks to be spoon fed, rather than saying a straight 'no', I would say 'DS can do it'.  If he refuses to eat, I would probably take the meal away.  Again it is the harsh route, but I think you would only have to do this consistently for a relatively short time before he got the message that he's got to try to do it himself.

He will eat finger foods up to a point - this morning he ate some bread and butter (cut into cubes) again,
Rather than cutting it into cubes or bite size pieces, why not cut a slice of bread into quarters, so he's got a proper piece to get hold of.  I find with DS the bigger the better!

Lunch was wafer-thin chicken pieces - which he gobbled up, then asked for more   Then I squirted a fruit pouch into a bowl and gave it to him with a spoon. The bowl got upended - fruit puree all over the table 

I know my DS never got on with those stage 2 or 3 purees either, in fact as soon as the purees got lumpy (at around 8 months) he refused them so we went straight onto whole pieces of foods & he got on with that much better.  He ate the chicken pieces at lunch so that shows maybe its the way to go, right?

Does he eat whole pieces of fruit eg if you gave him an apple would he eat it?  Or a whole banana?  My DS has just learned how to peel a banana so he likes it if I give him it in the skin & he peels it & will eat it all.

Re water - he begs for his cup when we go downstairs and cries for it if he's sat down and we attempt to give him food first 
Ah, bless, it sounds very similar to what my DS used to do with his milk.  I still think giving water first will just fill him up.  Could you just stand firm & say you can have your drink after your breakfast, no matter if he cries or protests?  There I go with that tough love again.  :-X Its not easy hun, but within just a few days you may find he no longer even asks for it. 

Offline We Three

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #30 on: September 08, 2012, 20:35:44 pm »
Just want to say you're getting great advice here!!! ITA with the idea of forgetting all about utensils...just stick to finger foods...and fun ones like watermelon chunks and apple slices, yk? If he throws, I'd put it back and say "Food stays ON the tray please" in a neutral way. Repeat as needed.  Be mindful of him feeling pressured...power struggles with food are so hard...so try to keep things light, eat your food and try not to cajole or bribe or pressure. Easier said than done, I know! 

 And if he is just a light eater in the mornings...then I'd be sure to give him things that pack a lot of nutritional value...eggs, really healthy cereals, toast on whoile grain bread with lots of fiber. Dips can be fun too...he might like to dip toast into apple butter or dip a carrot into dressing.

Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast
« Reply #31 on: September 09, 2012, 00:27:12 am »
Dips can be fun too...he might like to dip toast into apple butter or dip a carrot into dressing.

DD LOVES dipping...she dips her toast in her oatmeal, and pretty much anything in ranch dressing or ketchup.  She dipped cucumber sticks in ketchup today at lunch (since she was having hashbrowns the ketchup was on her plate from that), and I thought oh yuck....but I definitely didn't say yuck, I was just happy she was experimenting and eating veggies!

Offline Hedgehog17

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Re: Not interested in breakfast - *happy update pg 3*
« Reply #32 on: October 01, 2012, 12:41:31 pm »
For the last 2 weeks DS has been HEAPS better  ;D ;D ;D

I think my sister was right, and it just seems to take until 2yo for this whole eating thing to click in with our boys  ::)

We have still been giving him as much milk, but have been giving him his yoghurt for breakfast and he'll always eat that, plus a bit of cereal or some pancake now  :D After he gets down I allow him 15 mins of Cbeebies on TV with a biscuit to eat while he watches (not ideal I know but it gets a few extra calories in).

He's also been doing much better at lunch and tea, and even having the occsional snack between meals as well  :o Lunch today was chicken pieces, baby rice crackers with spread, and halved grapes, so all finger food, and he ate all but 1/2 a cracker, then had a biscuit for afters  :D

Had his 2 year check today, and was really happy to find him weighing in at 12.3Kg (on the 50th) and height at 88cm (just above the 50th!), so glad he decided to catch up just before this check  :D

I have decided to stop worrying about his eating, as it doesn't seem to be affecting his growth or development at all  8)

Thank you all for your support and ideas - BWs rock!  :-* :-* :-*

Offline TB9

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Re: Not interested in breakfast - *happy update pg 3*
« Reply #33 on: October 01, 2012, 13:01:08 pm »
Great update Hedgehog :)

DDs doc always tells me that toddler eating habits are like a roller coaster and not to worry too much, which is easier said than done!

I also let DD have a snack while watching a tv show, because if she goes to the cupboard and asks for a snack right before her favorite show comes on I'm not going to say no :)

Offline clairebear79

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Re: Not interested in breakfast - *happy update pg 3*
« Reply #34 on: October 01, 2012, 19:58:18 pm »
YAY HH!  Great to hear he's eating more finger food now.

He weighs more than Oliver now!!!!!  We're still at 26lb 8!