Help with nw/paci replugging

[Jens_01]

Hello ladies. Some advice please.

My little dd is 8.5 months old. We've been struggling with various nap and sleep issues forever. Last night I nearly lost my mind (if course yesterday was a battle of wilsl for nappnig too). Last night she was up about 7 times to be soothed or replugged. She is capable of doing it herself as she does when awak, but at night she seems to be unable to do it. I've let er cry for a few min, and patted and rubbed. Nothjng works except to put the back back in. This needs to stop. Please what can I do?  Her schedule is good. She nurses to sleep at bedtime but I wake her before i put her down.  She sema unable to self soothe. I don't wan tinker her cry but I'm running out of options.  at nap
Time yesterday she refused to settle and was up 2.5 hours longer than she should have been. Inlet her cry the comforted and no sign of settling by herself.

Please help! 

[anna*]

The only way to stop replugging is to stop doing it! Yes there will be tears and yes she will skip naps, but as long as you stay with her no harm will come to her. She'll either learn to settle without the paci, or decide to replug it for herself.

[Jens_01]

I figured. But do I pu/pd or pat shhh or something else to get her to self soothe or replug?

[anna*]

Sush pat or a modified PuPD. The hard part will be to leave the paci in the crib and not just replug it!! Will try to type more tomorrow when I'm on computer not phone

[Jens_01]

Much appreciated. Thank you.

[anna*]

How is it going? Have you managed to stop replugging?

[Jens_01]

Nope. If she wakes she seems to be unable to resettle herself and isn't willing to find the paci herself. I try patting and shhhhing but she just looses er mind till I put it in at which
Point she goes straight to sleep

[anna*]

How long have you been doing shush pat for? I think if you want to stop you really have to stop, not do shush pat for an hour and then replug.

[Jens_01]

Would I let her just cry then if I don't shh pat for an hour and she's lost her pacifier?

[becj86]

Have you tried putting the paci in her hand rather than her mouth, so she's learning the replugging in stages, since you plan to keep it?

[anna*]

No no don't leave her to cry! Do PUPD or shush pat or just stay with her. Putting the paci in her hand is a grea idea, plus you could attach it to a toy to make it easier to find, my daughter has a Sleepytots toy with her dummy on.

[j.and.e]

yes sleepytots was a lifesaver here. I weand dummy at 8mo as ds was starting nursery and i didnt want him to have it all day. Unfortunately a few months later we gave it back during bad teething and still have it! Xx

[Jens_01]

She is perfectly capable of replugging siince when she wakes in the morning and is Playing in her crib she dies it, also during the day if she gets her hand on it  But at night I put it in her hand and she just flails about not putting it in. I have been staying by her side and patting and shhhhing hoping she'll put it in but nope. If she doesn't start doing it very sOon it will be going the way of the dodo very quickly.

[anna*]

So what happens after the crying, does she eventually fall asleep without it?

[Jens_01]

I've never really let her cry too long. It breaks me which is why I used the baby whisperer technique in the first place. After a few min I usually end up putting it in for her hitch I know won't help this particular situation at all. I try to not give it to her and have done pupd but she won't settle once she decides he needs the pacifier. Some nights she doesn't feel she needs it and sleeps perfectly fine without it, but on the nights she "needs" it....... I ordered a sleepytot and hope that helps. I know if I remove the pacifier I'm in for a few long nights of crying. I'm just not sure how that works from the whole baby whisperer technique point of view.

[becj86]

Have you put it in her hand then guided her hand to her mouth? When I was teaching that one, I actually went in quite early so DS wasn't already flailing and upset but learned to do it when he was still relatively calm.

I know if I remove the pacifier I'm in for a few long nights of crying. I'm just not sure how that works from the whole baby whisperer technique point of view.

If you're there and reassuring her, that's ok - not ideal, of course but you're not doing her damage as you would with CIO. She's crying more because you've changed the rules than anything else (provided discomfort, etc. have been ruled out).

[anna*]

Thing is hun, if you end up replugging her I would stop trying to do shush pat or PUPD because you're not getting anything from it. You're not accomplishing anything. Remember, BW isn't a 'no cry' technique, and as Bec has said, as long as you're there with her no harm will come to her. I think you really have to decide whether you're going to replug her, or whether your'e going to stop, or whether you're just going to wean the paci, and then stick with it. Like I said, no point trying to soothe her for 40 mins and then still end up replugging her.

[becj86]

Like I said, no point trying to soothe her for 40 mins and then still end up replugging her.

Totally agree, will make weaning so much more difficult if you decide to do it because she's learning that if she cries long enough, she will get replugged.