Breaking OT cycle - 8mos

[Jessleigh]

yes, i forgot about trying that first. I'll give it a go tomorrow. Did you mean W2S?

[becj86]

W2S could work too. I meant HTTJ, but worth trying those.

[TracyP21]

Just tagging onto this post as I have a similar situation going on which is being looked at. 

[Jessleigh]

well, this morning's nap was almost completely refused even though she was obviously tired. probably missed her window somehow. She cried for 1hr in crib (with me in there using my voice and PDing occassionally). it was getting so out of hand that she was banging her head on the rails when she sat and flug herself backward. I picked her up but by then i was in tears so i couldn't handle it anymore. We went on a walk where she took a 35 min nap, with me crying silently behind me sunglasses.

I am so beside myself.

Maybe at times like this I just need to get over the fact that it might take 3hrs for her to settle, but to just stick with it. (and pick her up to comfort if she's hit her head?) just to end the APing completely and give her more consistency that way?

I just don't know what to do. It's never been this hard. PUPD at 5mos worked so fast and easy. She's a different baby now!

BTW, Hi Tracy. Sorry you're through this too. I've actually read your posts as well. No fun!

[Jessleigh]

Well i did W2S and HTTJ for the second nap and got 1hr 17min nap! She took 40mins of crying to settle though. And woke crying, dozed while nursing so it seems she still needed more sleep.

Question on A times. This is just an endless saga for us.

So, im thinking her window is so small I'm just missing it. For instance, this morning she yawned and was kind of staring off with that glazed look around 2.5 hrs A time. I was thinking of putting her down but didn't bc yesterday morning I tried an early A time and was met with loads of screaming until finally at 4 hrs A i APed the nap.

So yesterday morning i was definitely going for at least 3hrs A. After that initial yawn, we changed scenery and she perked up with her toys and started getting playful, making squealy happy sounds (but not quite the crazy OS sounds so i wasn't sure). But she was fussy, too.

At 3hrs A i started taking her upstairs with the naptime song and she started yawning as usual with the song, gave her her blankie, started sucking thumb, rubbing face, put her down.

She seemed like she was going to drift off but then she started getting on all fours, sitting, pulling up, etc..i let her have at it as she periodically would lay down and suck her thumb. But then she started fussing for me so i went up to do PD but she was playful. Is this possibly bc she was now OT and i missed her window?

I ended up patting her bum and she layed there staring until she then got the picture and sucked her thumb to sleep. Total A time 3hrs 20mins. (I discovered the bum patting thing yesterday bc i didn't think it would work on her at this age!)

I am so confused whether this behavior is OT or UT.

Anyway, the bum patting thing has been working to extend through the 30 (i was so surprised!) so i'll keep trying that.

[ZacsMumme]

Hugs Hun, great W2S worked.
Butt pats worked in this house too till Z was 14 mths it's a good one

Do you think she is in discomfort? Insure we've covered this before but does medicating before a nap help at all ie pain meds? - I'm wondering if she is teething, sometimes they are fine till nap time KWiM?

[Jessleigh]

She has been teething. 3 poked through in the last 2wks, but this has been going on way before that. And meds haven't seemed to make a difference that i can tell anyway.

But I think we may have turned a corner finally! i got 2 "good" naps today of 1hr and 1hr 15mins, NO screaming! and i didnt need to bum pat at the 30!

Not sure what changed but two days ago i decided to let her cry for about 2 mins before rushing up there when she woke at the 30. I was on the phone and thought, Ok if she doesn't stop crying in 2mins I'll go in. But i just had a hunch that i was rushing in too quickly bc her scream can be so urgent sounding, and she gets up on all fours or stands in protest. But i can see her in the monitor so i know she's OK. I know CIO is not advocated, but i didn't think of this as CIO, but rather just giving her a bit of time before rushing in as i have always done. To my surprise, she layed back down and went back to sleep! the second nap she didn't go the same but last night was the best night yet (again the 2 times she woke i let her cry for less than 1min instead of rushing in and she settled on her own!) and today was the best nap day we've had in ages! Maybe just a coincidence, but i hope this means we've turned a corner.

[becj86]

DS has a really urgent-sounding mantra cry too. Letting him settle though was the best thing we did. RE-introducing night BF at 12 months to get through night terrors and teething the worst so far in terms of his and our sleep.

[Jessleigh]

DS has a really urgent-sounding mantra cry too.

so glad i let her cry a bit! I would have never thought that was mantra. She's finally STTNing AND taking 2 good naps! i feel like i have a new daughter! So good!

The only thing now is moving BT and WU. She never does more than 11hr at night these days so BT of 6 or 6:30 is putting us at 5/5:30 WU.

I tried adding a CN with BT at 8 still and still get EWU at 5:45 (which might be habitual).

Have you found that the gradual approach works better? Hard to know how to do this when our schedule already wavers by 30mins (depending on WU and nap length).
Suggestions?

[becj86]

I tried adding a CN with BT at 8 still and still get EWU at 5:45 (which might be habitual).

More likely OT from such a long day, I'd say.

Shifting BT/WU is tricky. You could try pushing your A times by 5-10mins and hoping for longer naps for a few days to shift the day. The approach suggested on a sticky somewhere is to shift BT later by 5-10mins each week which will take you about 1.5 months to get WU to 6/6:30 but if you have the patience, you could give that a go. I will have a look for that sticky on shifting the day for you.

[Jessleigh]

I actually found the sticky! Thanks. i just wasn't sure how shifting the day by such small increments would work since her routine shifts by 30mins or more day to day.

I guess i'll start by trying to extend the A's. Got a solid 1.5 hr nap this am with 3hrs 10mins A, and not even a stir at the 30!...so happy about that one!

[ZacsMumme]

We had a pre 6 am WU till Z was on 1 nap. But to combat it we never started the day before 6. Even if it meant I had to feed in the chair in his room in the dark then sit and sing softly or cuddle. Then I would walk out the room at 6 after PD in cot. Walk straight back in and say morning

I did eventually work .. That and him getting older really.