Refusing to eat at almost 13 months, please help!

[kasiaf]

Hello,

My daughter is refusing food at almost 13 months.  She has been a very good eater since we've started her on solids (baby cereal, puréed veggies and fruit).  She always loved trying new things and I never had an issue with feeding as she had a great appetite.  In the last little while, I would say from about 11 months she has been refusing food more and more.  Around the time we started giving her homogenized milk, to replace formula, which she had no problem with from the start.  She is no longer getting formula and drinks milk without any hesitation. 

I have been giving her cereal and baby food along with small finger food, which she has been eating for a while now.  But, recently is giving me a hard time with both, or either one depending on the day. As soon as sit her down in the highchair she screams and does not want to have anything to do with the food.  When refusing it she swings her hands, and even throws herself back in the highchair.  I often try to sneak a spoon in her mouth just for a taste, sometimes that works.  I try to trick her sometimes by giving her pieces of cheese or yogurt (she loves those) in-between her actual lunch/dinner which sometimes has worked. 

I am really worried that she is not getting enough.  I often hear that this is normal and that a baby won’t starve herself, so if she doesn’t want to eat, let it go and don’t force it. I feel terrible letting her go without any food at all.  But on the other hand, I have been sitting with her at dinner time for an hour some days with no luck.  This is a long time, especially now that I just returned to work and we don’t have much time with the baby in the evenings before bedtime. 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Kasia.

[Lolly]

How much milk is she having in the day/ night now? What's her current routine like?

Babies/ toddlers do seem to go through phases when they need less food or are reluctant to eat. Sometimes a routine tweak helps or changing things around. Drinking too much milk does have an impact on appetite as does being too tired at meal times. If she is teething at the moment, that won't be helping either.

If you post your routine for the day so we can see what and when she eat and when she sleeps we can brainstorm some ideas.

I would keep meal times short too, if she doesn't start eating within a few minutes of sitting down then she is very unlikely to and sitting for long periods won't help really. If she is objecting to her highchair have you thought of trying a booster seat so she is sitting at the table like mummy and daddy?

Laura

[*happy*]

hi kasiaf...i feel your pain!!!my LO is a bit like yours!!!!sometimes i use the toy that's attached to the highchair & it distracts her so she'll open her mouth kind of absent minded-ly, KWIM?it's washable so handy for messy fingers!xxx

[kasiaf]

Thank you for your quick replies.
 
Our daily routine has changed since last week, as I have gone back to work and my LO is at daycare during the week days. Here is what we have been doing in the last little while:

6:30 AM - Wake up.
6:50 AM – Bottle (150ml) at home.
8:30 AM – Breakfast at daycare (cereal if she eats it, if not she’ll have yogurt, fruit or some cheese).
9:30 AM-10:30 AM – Walk/play outside at daycare (depending on weather).
11:30 PM - Lunch. Daycare trying to feed her regular food that the kids are eating, she has been very good with trying it and eating fine. Otherwise, they give pureed veggies/fruit. Milk for a drink (not a lot, maybe 30ml).
12:30-2:30 PM - Nap.
3:30 PM – Snack (fruit, crackers, yogurt, etc.).
5/5:30 PM - Dinner. Pureed veggies or/and our dinner.
7:30 PM - Bed time. Bottle before sleep (180ml).

I wouldn’t say she is having too much milk, especially as she is no longer having a bottle of 180ml at lunch (she only has a little as a drink with lunch), and since when dinner is over it gets to be close to her bedtime we no longer give her a bottle of 150ml at dinner either. I am not sure if she’s teething, she does put her fingers in her mouth when she’s crying, but I can’t tell if it is from pain or just frustration. She pulls her hair as well.

Kasia. 

[kasiaf]

I have used a toy for destruction, but it faded fairly quickly. She is throwing everthing at this stage and that includes the toy I give her while in the highchair. Also, she knows I'm about to feed her and starts crying as soon as I put her in the chair, at that point the toy has no effect on her. The only way to calm her down is the soother. Even with the soother in her mouth she goes off if she sees the spoon or food near her. 

[Lolly]

I would think it's a combination of teething and tiredness. You routine looks ok, but one nap may not be enough for her and it's quite late in the day so she may just be too tired for tea by 5.30. Try pain meds for teething about 20 mins before a meal too and see if that helps.

My DD went straight to one nap at 1 but she always had long A times and her nap was at 11.30 at the latest until about 16/17 months.

Does she have an afternoon snack every day? I wonder if you would actually be better doing her meal then and a snack later if she wants it, or don't do the snack and offer her meal a bit earlier.

The other thing you could try is to forget the spoons/ purees and just let her feed herself.

Laura

[kasiaf]

Hi Laura,

I definitely agree that her actions may be related to teething. She may be hurting while eating and possibly associating feeding with the pain.  I don't necessarily think she has been teething every time as she has been in great moods and not showing any other symptoms.

The routine is based on a day at the daycare.  She does go down into her crib by 11:50AM, and takes about 15-20 minutes to fall asleep.  So she is sleeping around 12/12:30PM. Based on this week she sleeps around 2 hours on average.  She has had one long nap since about 10 months, plus about half hour nap in the AM. She has been encouraged to nap in the AM at the daycare but so far no interest. 

The idea of the snack around 3:30PM is to tie her over to dinner.  We don't get home till about 5PM, so a snack makes me feel comfortable that she won't be starving if I'm in rush hour traffic.  Since her lunch is at 11:30AM, I don't want her waiting to 5:30PM to eat again. During the weekends I don't do a snack, I just have her eat dinner a little sooner. 

I have been letting her feed herself, which sometimes works but not always. She loses interest and decides she's done after barely having any food. I will continue encouraging her to eat with her fingers, I think it's great and I think she enjoys it. I just wish she would want to eat more, not stopping after a few pieces. 

Kasia.

[*jazzberry*]

I would try not to worry, all mine drastically reduced their intake around this age, DS1 particularly. To this day he is a very picky eater and still hardly eats anything. I do wonder how much of it is related to my anxiety around him eating as ds2 and dd have much healthier appetites. They are all full of energy though and always on the go so I figure they must be getting enough. Is your LO otherwise happy and gaining weight? Does she have plenty of energy etc?

[Fiver]

I was going to suggest this:

The other thing you could try is to forget the spoons/ purees and just let her feed herself.

At 13m, as well as the possible pickiness, she's probably wanting to assert a bit of independence.  Is there any reason why you're still pureeing?  Most people have moved on to much more textured food by a year.  I think I'd be inclined to offer 'normal' food, giving a small amount of something that she'll reliably take along with a small amount of something else.

Also, if you're not eating at the same time as her, try that out, or try moving her highchair somewhere different, whether that's  a different place in the room or another room (if you're usually in the dining room, move to the kitchen).  The change of scene and more 'grown up' food might just prompt a change.  And if not, it's given you some variety

[skatty]

I found that anything I was eating and enjoying my dd would want, eat something in front of her and manke mmm noises and she will probably want to try it too!!

[kasiaf]

Hello Ladies,

Thank you so much for your comments. 

We have been managing in the last few days, although every meal seems to be a challenge.  I've noticed that my LO enjoys eating with her hands, and it's the spoon feeding that irritates her.  Also, I've realized that she still has her appetite (most days), just not for purees and spoon fed foods (with an exception of yogurt). 

One of the dilemmas right now is keeping her interested.  When I give her some finger food, she starts of well and feeds herself for a few minutes, but then quickly gives up and starts to cry and throws the food off her tray.  I really don't think she's taking in much, as I see how much food falls into her bib as she tries to eat.  Lately I have been giving her yogurt at the end, and tricking her with some pureed food in-between so that I feel like she had a bit more food. 

I have been taking my time with introducing “normal food” mostly because my LO has only two teeth and she has been rejecting the food when I tried it every once in a while.  But, she has been eating small cut up foods for months now (i.e. cheese, bread, banana, rice crackers, noodles, etc. ).
I will have to check her weight and monitor it, as I haven’t weight her for about 3 weeks.  This issue has been getting progressively worse in the last couple weeks. 

Her mood has been varying in the last little while. She has started daycare last week, which has been going extremely well.  She has been adjusting better than expected.  She has been in great moods at home as well, but also going through random rough patches.  She seems more extreme with expressing her frustration and being quite more aggression (i.e. throwing herself back).  This is not normal for her, but it might be something she's starting to do.  I am also suspecting that teething could be one of the reasons for her frequent moods fluctuations.  Although, I am not seeing any other teething symptoms. 

Kasia. 

[Lolly]

Teething could well be playing a part, teeth move around in the jaw before you see any obvious signs of teeth.

Sounds like you are making progress though! Slow but steady is good. I used to offer mashed and finger foods at the same time and sneak spoonfuls in while they were busy with the finger foods - it didn't always work though!

We started finger foods at 6 months when my DD just about had 2 bottom teeth - they really don't need teeth to eat table food, their gums are really hard and their tongues do a lot of the work of mashing too. We followed the Baby Led Weaning principle of giving sticks of food so that they could control it themselves. The sticks need to be big enough to hold in their hand with a bit sticking out - they enjoyed pasta, toast and bread fingers, broccoli chunks and any veg roasted or steamed in sticks/ chunks.

My two always found small pieces more frustrating than sticks because they were much harder to get to their mouths and they were more likely to gag on small bits because they were harder to control in their mouths.

This age is difficult as they are more aware of what they want but aren't able to express themselves. Have you tried baby signing with her - that really helps them to be able to tell you what they want.

Laura

[Fiver]

I have been taking my time with introducing “normal food” mostly because my LO has only two teeth and she has been rejecting the food when I tried it every once in a while.

I totally understand, but like Laura said, teeth aren't a necessity.  We done pure BLW with DD since 6m and she got her first tooth at 15m!!  She still only has 9, but manages to eat all sorts (she had some steak before she had any teeth and gave it a good munching!)

Teething could definitely be an issue.  What about offering something that she can feed herself, but is a bit softer so doesn't require so much chewing so isn't perhaps so uncomfortable?  Or try giving some topical pain relief before meal times to see if that makes any difference?