Claire Honey, when you're chopping and changing every day it is often impossible to see what does and doesn't suit. Honestly Hun, IIWM I would formulate a plan and push her through it. If following her lead was doing some good I wouldn't say this, but it doesn't seem to be.
THIS ^^^ !!
You absolutely have to stick with the same thing for 5-6 days consistently before you can make a judgement call. You will never see changes/improvements if you don't. Make a plan, mark it on the calendar and follow through.
OT is cumulative and takes a long, long, LONG time to clear out of the system. And then it takes even longer to get on the plus side of things.
Night time sleep usually comes together first and then naps start to get fixed, however naps are notorious for taking 3-4 weeks to fix so consistency is extrememly important. Everytime you try something different, it sets you back another day.
In addition to that, when LOs are OT, they often take a long time to fall asleep-this is very common and very normal. It doesn't mean that they aren't tired, just the opposite. So you have to keep trying over and over, day in and day out with the early bedtimes.
Just as an example- my 26 month old needs several DAYS of good naps AND night sleep to recover from just one crappy nap. Yes she is sensitive to OT, but it just shows you how long it can take for OT to be overcome.
You never mentioned what times the 2 naps were happening at so I'm not sure how to troubleshoot that for you, but
I still think trying 2 naps is worth it, but only if you can aim for her to be *asleep* somewhere between 8:15 (on the days that you have EWs) and 9am for the 1st nap and then sometime around 12:30/1pm for the afternoon nap and then bedtime (asleep) about 3-4 hours after that-depending on the quality and duration of the naps.
If this is too hard or doesn't fit your routine, etc, then go to one nap and try to get it starting at 12pm within a week. Then be prepared to keep bedtime at around 5 (but again base it on the quality and duration of the nap) for about a month until she has made the transition.
With whatever option you choose, you also need to start leaving her when she short naps. If you can't stay out of the room, then go in but remain silent, don't take her out of her bed and don't turn any lights on. She needs to get used to laying there for longer periods of time, but when they're OT they just snap awake at that 30 minute mark.
The quickest way for her to return to sleep would be for you to leave her alone and not go into the room (and again, this likely won't happen the first time you try it, so you have to stick to it for several days) because our presence stimulates them and then they try to engage us, but if you need to in, then it's imperative that you don't start engaging her. Just sit there quietly. She needs to learn how to go back to sleep even when OT.
If you don't go back into the room, give her until the hour mark to see if she'll go back to sleep. If you go in, then I would give her to the hour and half mark.
I have BTDT and I totally understand what you're going through. It's so hard to make sense of things when you're completely frustrated and exhausted.
HUGE hugs to you.
